Live to Dance: This is America's best?

As I sat watching last week's Live to Dance semifinals show, I was reminded of that old Wendy's commercial: the one where the old lady yells "Where's the beef?" when confronted by a disappointingly small hamburger patty.

Live to Dance kind of made me want to yell "Where's the dance?" at my TV. 

(An apology for taking so long to post about this episode. Between blogging American Idol, which airs the same night as Live to Dance, doing my day job and having a life outside of work, I didn't get around to watching L2D until Sunday afternoon. But I digress.)

I continue to feel that it's misleading to characterize the semifinalists on Live to Dance as among the best dance acts in America. And that's not to say I think they're untalented. But some of them are novelties at best, like Roosevelt Anderson, and some are just rehashing things that others have done better before, which I would argue is the case with Tap Sounds Underground.

It also seems to me that Paula Abdul's credibility as a judge (although they don't call them judges on Live to Dance, they call them "experts") dropped a few notches with her seeming inability to award red stars to mediocre performances last Wednesday (and in saying that, I realize she did give a red star the week before to Du-Shaunt Stegall). She seems to be having a hard time stepping out of her mentoring role (she works with each semifinalist on their performances) and giving the ones that need it a little tough love.

Anyway, let's talk about the dance acts.

First up was Dance Town Chaos, a group of 12 young men from Miami, Fla., who combine lyrical contemporary dancing with acrobatics. The running across the stage with flags? Obscuring the troupe with a giant length of gold fabric? What the hell did that have to do with dancing?

Furthermore, if you're dancing as a unit and your moves aren't particularly unique or challenging, they should be perfectly in synch. Dance Town Chaos's moves were not. But to hear the judges tell it, they had just done something mind-blowing onstage. Paula was out of her seat applauding at the end of the routine.

I couldn't help but wonder if the experts' praise had as much to do with the young men battling prejudices against male dancers as they did with the actual dancing. Paula (who said seeing their routine in rehearsal had left her feeling "like the dorkiest little kid experiencing Disneyland for the first time") had a message for "any naysayer who thinks that the only athletics and excellence can come in sports. I tell you, what you do is equally important to a baseball player who's trying to get a home run and a football player who's scoring a touchdown."

Travis Payne said the troupe had surpassed their audition performance and praised their "artistry, the attention to detail, the expertise. It was fun, it was beautiful, it was masculine the way that gentlemen are supposed to perform" (I find that a slightly offensive statement; androgynous or feminine males can be beautiful dancers, too).

Once Kimberly Wyatt weighed in, it was gold stars all around.

Next up were Jill and Jacob, the teen almost-a couple from L.A. These two had great chemistry in their audition performance that made up for any imperfections in their dancing, but they messed with that against Paula's advice. Jacob tried to turn Jill into a hip-hop dancer and it didn't work. And as the experts pointed out, that special chemistry that had made them so watchable was almost non-existent.

"Where was the loving young couple we fell in love with?" demanded Travis. "That was like married people divorcing ... I felt like you were trying to tell a story, but ... I didn't feel any sort of real connection."

Travis gave them a red star as did Kimberly. But Paula tried to have it both ways, lamenting the absence of the connection "that won America's hearts over" and of Jill's "beautiful technique," but praising them for believing in themselves and coming a long way since rehearsal. She gave them a gold star.

Roosevelt Anderson from Brooklyn (above) was up next. He does something called "sky walking," where he appears to be floating (there were moments when his feet did leave the stage thanks to wires), and "bone breaking," where he contorts his limbs in ways that look painful and a bit gross (hence host Andrew Gunsberg's jokey exhortation, "Don't try this at home").

Roosevelt seems genuinely stoked about what he does, but I found the routine repetitive, boring and kind of freaky during the bone-breaking bits.

Kimberly singled out Roosevelt's "geniuine passion for dance ... but there just wasn't enough tonight" and gave him a red star.

Paula's gold star seemed to be more about how "delightful" Roosevelt was to work with and how he celebrated his "niche."

Travis also gave Roosevelt a gold star, praising his control of his body. 

Kimberly played the heavy again with Tap Sounds Underground, two tap-dancing friends from L.A., awarding a red star to Paula and Travis's gold ones.

I had been encouraged when I saw the dancers rehearsing with a ramp, thinking we'd see some extreme tapping, but I found their routine safe and ho-hum.

Paula praised the men, Gregg Russell and Ryan Lohoff, for being "one of the most amazing acts to work with" (which shouldn't have anything to do with the critiquing). And she gushed that they are "the closest thing to perfection as far as tap dancing goes" and that master tappers the Nicholas Brothers, Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire and Donald O'Connor were smiling down on them.

Kimberly rightly pointed out that they didn't meet her earlier challenge to breathe new life into the genre. Paula vehemently disagreed. Myself, I don't think they did anything that the tap greats of earlier eras haven't done and done better. (Google Nicholas Brothers in Stormy Weather or Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor in "Mose Supposes," from Singin' in the Rain, for a couple of examples of what I'm talking about.)

Up next was another one of the novelty acts, Shore Thing, a group of 19 kids from Cape May, N.J. They had been challenged to work on their timing and acrobatics, a challenge that they met, but the routine was a bunch of tricks -- tumbling, flips and contortions -- and very little dancing.

This time, all three judges gave out gold stars.

Last up was Kendall Glover, a lyrical jazz dancer from Phoenix, Ariz. Although I find Kendall a bit intense for an 11-year-old, not to mention a little underdressed and overly made up, I found her routine the most complete as a dance performance.

There were gold stars from Kimberly and Paula, but red from Travis, to big boos from the audience, who criticized Kendall's lines and found her performance more athletic than artistic.

In the end, the experts chose Dance Town Chaos to move to the finals. The public chooses the last act, with the result announced when the finals begin this week.

We also learned at the beginning of the show that the act that got voted through from the previous week's semifinals was Twitch, the contemporary troupe from Miami (no big surprise there).

Going into the finals so far we have The Vibe, D'Angelo and Amanda, White Tree Fine Art, Twitch, Dance Town Chaos and one act still to be named.

Will you be watching on Wednesday? Lots of people aren't in the U.S., where last Wednesday's show drew just 4.5 million viewers. If you're still hanging in, I'll be blogging Wednesday's show sometime this week (but not Wednesday, too busy with Idol).

American Idol: Nashville delivers

Talk about saving the best for last.

American Idol's Nashville audition episode was humming along, but much of the singing wasn't blowing me away. And then along came Lauren Alaina. To use a Jennifer Lopez expression, "Wowa!"

I'll just go on record right now to whichever of the producers decided to open the auditions to 15-year-olds and say great idea.

Lauren, as you might have guessed, is a 15-year-old from Rossville, Ga., with a formidable set of pipes. Her audition ballad was pretty spectacular, but then she sang Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" -- in duet with Steven Tyler no less -- and darn near blew the doors off the audition room at Ryman Auditorium.

She had a backstory, about her cousin who got her started singing and ended up with a brain tumour (which I'm assuming is in remission since Holly came to the audition and looked healthy), but it didn't overshadow Lauren's talent.

Steven was convinced the judges had already found their American Idol. "I think we found the one today. We found her. Oh yeah, we did, yep," he said as he walked to his limo.

Well, it's still early days. We've got a couple more audition cities to get through, not to mention Hollywood and Las Vegas, but I think we'll be seeing a lot more of Lauren.

"I think you should cry 'cause you're gonna make 40 million people cry -- tears of joy, baby," Steven told her.

"You've got real natural God-given talent," Randy Jackson said. "I've been saying it every season, it doesn't matter what age, where, what, what, what, if you've got it you've got and you've definitely got it."

There seemed to be almost as many have nots as haves, though, on our TV screens on Thursday. And unless I just wasn't paying attention, I don't think host Ryan Seacrest ever told us how many got golden tickets in Nashville. 

The established pattern is to start each episode with a bad singer and they don't come much worse than Christine McCaffrey, 27, a Missouri-born dental assistant from West Palm Beach, Fla. She sounded like a Disney character with her high-pitched speaking voice and actually entered the room making squeaking sounds, leading the judges to ask her if she did voiceovers for cartoons.

Her version of "I Hope You Dance" was so egregious it had Randy exclaiming, "Really? Really? Really? Really? You're not serious, are you?"

"I'm very serious about going on American Idol 'cause I have the ability to write lyrics and I have the ability to sing them," said poor delusional Christine. After getting three nos, she bid the judges to have a nice day then blithely told Ryan that she'd gotten one yes, from Steven. Um, no, she didn't, but the untruth seemed to make her happy.

Christine was just one of several contestants to sample the wrath of Randy. The dawg was barking Thursday night and JLo and Steven weren't amused.

"That's not serious," Randy declared after Christine left the room.

"No, she was serious and you were mean. Just say no and let it be," JLo chastised him.

Later, when Randy told Kameela Merricks that her loud and tuneless Chaka Khan imitation was horrible and "it hurt," Steven leaned over and said, "Don't tell people they're not good."

"It was terrible. I was trying to be honest," replied Randy.

Well, kind of. If he'd been honest with former Miss Teen U.S.A. Stormi Henley, 19, from Crossville, Tenn., I think he would have sent her home instead of to Hollywood. 

"God, you've got a beautiful little tight, squinky little voice, you know," said Steven. "You ever throw it out a little harder than that?"

Stormi said she did not, but Steven decided she'd learn how to belt it with a little work. Jennifer disagreed and Randy was leaning towards a no but apparently let Steve persuade him into a yes.

"Seriously you two? Seriously?" demanded Jennifer. "That might be the smallest voice you've ever heard. I mean, she was beautiful."

Other questionable calls for me involved Paul McDonald, 25, Jimmie Allen, 25, and Danny Pate, 23. We only heard the briefest snippets from the three men. Paul's voice was very unusual but seemed thin; Jimmie didn't sound distinct enough and I couldn't tell how Danny sounded with all the judges singing along to "Papa Was a Rolling Stone."

And then there was Matt Dillard, 27, from Cheatham County, Tenn., who looked the picture of a hick in his overalls and cowboy hat. Yet he sang a Josh Groban song, not great but well enough to get yeses from Steven and Randy. Randy's was a qualified yes. "i just hope you don't get swallowed up." Matt assured the judges he could "pretty up too if you'd like." We'll see.

Adrienne Beasley, on the other hand, comes from a farm but didn't show up looking like it. The 22-year-old from Wickliffe, Ky., is a black woman adopted by white parents: thrifty parents by the sounds of it, since her father's first question on hearing she was going to Hollywood was "Who's going to pay your way?"

Anyway, Adrienne was good, although I wasn't as blown away as Steven, who told her, "I hear something so special in your voice ... Nothing was put on, you nailed the chorus, you almost made me cry, man, and I wasn't sure why."

(Both Steven and Randy seemed to have a little trouble distinguishing genders Thursday, with Randy telling another female contestant, "Crazy, dude, crazy vocals.")

Of the night's most delusional contestant, perhaps the less said the better. Latoya “Younique” Moore, a 26-year-old "recording artist" from Nashville, showed up in a long blue gown, preened and blew kisses for the camera, and gave the judges a copy of her CD. Her audition was proof that you don't have to be able to sing to make a record. 

"Baby, the sound, the tone is not good. It's almost like annoying," Randy told Latoya, emphasizing his point by imitating her. "Younique" was too deluded to be crushed, telling Ryan, "they probably would have liked it if I took it a little bit slower for them."

I'll end by mentioning the singers I really liked, besides Lauren.

Jackie Wilson, a 28-year-old Nashville bar manager, has a really good big voice, although she was reaching a little on that one high note. 

"You made us clap," said JLo. "You were so feeling the high notes and letting it out, and telling it like it is, you blew it out," said Steven.

I also saw lots of promise in Chelsee Oaks and Rob Bolin, both 23 and both restaurant workers from Nashville. Theirs was a twisted backstory. They're a former couple who still sings together. Chelsee even brought her new boyfriend to the audition. She told Ryan she started dating again while she and Rob were still living together platonically, which made Ryan give Rob a hug.

The judges seem to have made it their mission to reunite Chelsee and Rob.

"You guys are killing me," said Steven after the pair did a beautiful duet of "To Love Somebody." "Sometimes the deepest passion comes from friction and I saw how much in love you were.

"Get out of here, fall in love with each other all over again," he added, after both got the go-ahead to Hollywood.

"They're gonna get back together," whispered JLo.

From the look on Chelsee's new boyfriend's face, that's exactly what he fears. 

One final thing before I end. The ratings are in for Wednesday's show. They were down 5 per cent in the U.S. from last week's premiere, to 25.2 million, but those are still really big numbers for a single episode of a TV program. The news was even better in Canada, where ratings grew 8 per cent from last week.

There are still people out there missing Simon Cowell, but maybe not as many as we think. What do you say? Do you miss Simon? Are JLo and Tyler growing on you? Do you like the show's nicer tone? Comments are always welcome.

Idol will be back next Wednesday at 8 p.m. on CTV with the Texas auditions. Join me here for the recap and don't forget you can follow me on Twitter here.

(The photo of Chelsee and Rob is by Michael Becker for Fox.)

Chris Harrison talks The Bachelor

Bachelor/Bachelorette host Chris Harrison did a conference call with the media on Thursday and he had some stuff to say about Michelle, Monday's NASCAR date, Brad and Bettina, and other things related to the show.

And Chris also wanted to give a big shout-out to Canada, noting that the series is really popular here.

I asked him if Canadians keep getting cast on the show by design or happenstance, and he said it's a little bit of both. 

"We cast the show and we really try to spread a wide net ... I think with the Canadians, our show is hugely popular up there. The second thing is Canadians need love, too. That's been proven. It doesn't hurt (that we had) Jillian (Harris) as our Bachelorette."

Of course, one of the first topics of conversation was Michelle, this season's most controversial contestant (Life & Style magazine revealed yesterday that she had an affair with a married NBA star, Carlos Boozer, although Michelle says she was led to believe he was separated when they started dating).

For starters, Chris says he doesn't find Michelle "that crazy. I find her entertaining and I find her really funny to listen to. When she says, 'I’ll give Brad a black eye of his own if I don’t get the date,' she‘s not going to beat him up ... she is aggressive, she puts Brad on edge and she’s really keeping him very interested. I don’t find her crazy. Yeah, I think she has some issues."

Chris also said, jokingly, "I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to cast a Michelle on the show. I think we’ve given Michelles a bad rap ... It is interesting how we’ve definitely had this run of them that are controversial." I'm sure you'll remember the Michelle from Jake Pavelka's season who also let her freak flag fly on Bachelor Pad.

"I think this Michelle, this season’s Michelle with Brad, is definitely playing him very well. She really knows how to push his buttons, keep him on edge and keep him interested," Chris said.

He was also asked about this Monday's group date, which involves a visit to a NASCAR track and brings back bad memories for Emily, whose NASCAR driver fiance died in a plane crash. Were the producers being mean when Emily was chosen to go on that date, one reporter asked.

"I get it why people are immediately jumping to conclusions and saying it’s cruel and unusal punishment as you put it," Chris said. "If you go back a little bit, this date and this season was set up before Emily was cast, then you get to this week with Brad who still does not know this story … (Emily) really ends up on this NASCAR date by happenstance … We as producers knew this story and we knew Emily, we had a choice to make: Do we tell Brad, which we’ve never done before, or do we warn Emily? Our choice was what we've always done, let the real life drama and everything play out.

"I actually love it that people will jump to conclusions by the teases and promotions we do. Wait until you see how it plays out," Chris added. 

Speaking of dates, Chris said both the producers and Brad make the choices of who goes on what based on what's already happened in the season, who's had dates and who hasn't, and who Brad wants to spend time with, whether for positive reasons or because he wants to put someone on the spot. When it comes to the two-on-one dates -- we'll see the first of this season's on Monday -- it's important to pick two women who have "a real opportunity of going home."

For instance, Chris said neither Emily nor Chantal O. would have been a good choice for a two-on-one because of the great connections they've made with Brad.

Chris also commented on a recent tabloid report that alleged Brad had dumped Bettina Bell, who finished third on his first season, to go back on the show.

"The deal about Bettina is not true," Chris said. "I promise you if that were true, don’t you think we would have brought her in in Episode 2 as a surprise for great televison?"

Chris was also asked how he feels about the spoilers that circulate about the show.

He said it's somewhat flattering that "people are so crazed about our show, it's become such tabloid Internet fodder ...

"As far as leaks go, when was the last time you didn’t know who was on Dancing With the Stars? How many weeks in advance did we know who the judges were on American Idol? Look at WikiLeaks ... things are going to get out."

But he added, "Be careful what you read and what you follow. The good news is no matter what you read, what happens Monday night on the NASCAR date, what happens on the two-on-one date is something I couldn’t even tell you about. You have to see and feel it for yourself."

And on that note, you can catch the newest episode Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv. And of course, I'll have your recap right here.

(The photo of Chris is by Bob D'Amico for ABC.)

American Idol: Milwaukee brings it

The first time was the charm for Milwaukee.

It was the first time American Idol had visited the Wisconsin city and, so far, it's where the most golden tickets have been handed out: 53, squeaking past New Jersey with 51 and besting New Orleans' 37.

The judges seemed to have settled into a groove in this city. And by that, I don't mean there was any snark in the house, or not enough to make much of an impression, anyway. But Jennifer Lopez seems to have gotten over her distaste for saying no, Randy Jackson seems more authoritative and credible (although he did sneak in one "100 million per cent yes," grrr) and Steven Tyler ... well, he's just his wacky rock star self and that's alright with me.

The Milwaukee tryouts seemed to prove that it was a good idea to open up the auditions to 15-year-olds. Host Ryan Seacrest said all the 15-year-olds who tried out there got golden tickets but, alas, we only got to hear two of them sing. But not all the good ones were kids. There was some terrific talent in the upper age ranges, too, as well as in between. 

These were my favourites in the order in which they appeared:

lScotty McCreery, 16, Garner, N.C.: By no means am I a country music fan, but this high school student has a voice and a confidence that belies his youth. Randy described him as a throwback country guy. "I'm so impressed, there's promise for America yet," he said. This is the fellow who inspired Steven's "Hell fire, save matches, f--k a duck and see what hatches" quote, which we first saw in Episode 1.

lJerome Bell, 27, New York: The judges snickered a bit when Jerome told them he sings at weddings and bar mitvahs, but they weren't snickering by the time he finished. His version of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" was skilfully sung and he has tons of presence (my only criticism would be to dispense with the "chicken neck" motions while he's singing). JLo described him as "loud, soft, sweet, powerful, cute." "All the 'isms' jumping up," added Randy. "None of the was-isms," said Steven.

lThia Megia, 15, Mountain House, Calif.: The high school student booked a flight to Milwaukee as soon as she heard the age limit had been lowered rather than wait till the California auditions. I got a chuckle out of her telling Randy, "I've been seeing you on television before I could even start reading." "Wow, but I'm still mad young though, right?" he responded. Then she took complete control of Adele's "Chasing Pavements" and the jokes were forgotten. 

lHaley Reinhart, 18, Wheeling, Ill.: I'd be lying if I said I remembered Haley from last season's auditions, but I thought she hit it out of the park this time around. She had great control of her notes, including the high ones, and a nice touch of growl to her voice. Plus a good personality and a sense of humour. As Steven Tyler said, "Da ding."

lTiwan Strong, 29, Chicago: Tiwan did a lovely job with Sam Cooke's "Twistin' the Night Away" and gets bonus points for not picking a typical audition song. My only reservation is that Tiwan seems a little full of himself. We'll see how that goes over on "group night" (assuming the producers keep that part of Hollywood Week).

lScott Dangerfield, 22, Milwaukee: "This is the unassuming season. Never judge a book by its cover," said Randy after hearing this student teacher perform. Never would I have expected such a soulful voice out of such a geeky looking guy, with his striped shirt, glasses and shorts, but to quote Randy again, Scott was hot. Bonus points for being able to banter with Steven. "You might be my favourite I've seen so far," JLo told him (though bear in mind, Milwaukee was only the second audition city even though it's the third one shown on TV).

lChris Medina, 26, Oak Forest, Ill.: Chris is not the best singer that Milwaukee produced, but he gave a good audition and he's a hell of a guy if his backstory is what it appears. Here's a young man whose fiancee, Juliana Ramos, suffered a traumatic brain injury in an accident just two months before they were to marry, but Chris stuck with her and now cares for the disabled young woman with the help of her mother. "What kind of guy would I be if I walked out when she needed me the most?" Chris asked. Him getting a ticket to Hollywood "would get her to be happy again about something. I'd feel like I already won." Wow, that's one great guy. Chris got his golden ticket and the judges had him wheel Juliana in, where they greeted her with what seemed like genuine warmth, particularly from Steven, who hugged and kissed her and told her, "That's why he sings so good 'cause he sings to you." Yep, tears, sniffles: damn you Idol, you got me again.

But wait, there's more. There were other singers who were good but just weren't my cup of tea. They included Naima Adedapo, 25, a grounds cleaner for Milwaukee's Summerfest who dreams of being like the performers she sees onstage. I loved her look (big red hoop earrings and a red flower in her hair), but I feel like we've heard plenty of singers a lot like her.

Molly DeWolf Swensen, 22, of Seattle, Wash, has lots going for her, including looks, a degree from Harvard and a White House internship, but I just didn't dig her interpretation of "(Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay" and found her voice a bit breathy.  

Steve Beghun, 27, an accountant from Bloomington, Minn., who moonlights as a wedding and funeral singer, was better than I expected, but I didn't love his high voice.

Alyson Jados, 26, a Chicago waitress who got to sing "Dream On" with her idol, Tyler, has an attractive roughness to her voice in spots, but I don't like the way she ends some of her notes. And as Steven pointed out, she's pitchy, but she got through to Hollywood nonetheless.

I also think it was a mistake to put through 15-year-old Emma Henry from Littleton, Colo. She sings better than the average schmoe, but her version of Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors" was shaky. I fear she'll be this year's Haeley Vaughn, a youngster with underdeveloped talent who was pushed ahead before she was ready. "She's gonna get eaten up in this competition," JLo said.

As for the bad auditions, can I just begin by saying that no one besides Lady Gaga should ever attempt to sing "Bad Romance"? Please, I mean it.

I felt bad for Joe Repka, the 19-year-old from Swanton, Ohio, who's studying to be a radio host. He was so convinced that, in his words, he was going to "kick this thing straight to the moon," but he was so awful. Still, the judges were fairly gentle. "Brutally honest: ready? 'Cause you came here to hear it right? Do not quit your day job. Don't sing into the mic, talk into it 'cause I like that voice better than this one," said Steven. Added Randy, "It's three nos, Joe, but we had a good time with you."

And what do you make of someone like Nathaniel Jones, 22, of Mount Zion, Wis.? Being a Civil War re-enactor does not make one a freak. Wearing your uniform to an Idol audition, talking indignantly about how your bearded dad is not a hippie because "hippies believe in sex," choosing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" for your audition song kind of does. But with his stiff-armed demeanour and his brief mention of how his mom left his dad, Nathaniel was not undeserving of sympathy. "I'm not sure if it's for American Idol ... but I certainly liked the song," Steven told him.

The less said about Green Bay Packers fan Megan Frazier, 20, and her attempt to put an opera spin on Justin Bieber's "Baby," the better. Same for Kody Zalewski, 18, of Colgate, Wis., who mangled "Bad Romance," then demanded hugs from the judges and even a sip of Randy's Coke (what was he going to do, spit it into a vial and try to sell it on eBay?).

No amount of kindness or sympathy would have helped Vernika Patterson, 20, of Milwaukee. Steven told her, "I'm not sure if you're ready for American Idol right now" after an off-key rendition of "Loving You." But Vernika's disbelief turned to indignation and she demanded, "Is it because I'm not skinny like half of these people?" before walking out. (Sweetie, have you seen Ruben Studdard or Jennifer Hudson pre-Weight Watchers or LaKisha Jones?)

There was also a montage of ticked off people leaving the auditions, including three mad enough to smack the camera. And there were a couple of unplanned injuries, including a cameraman who was landed on by an auditioner doing front flips and Molly DeWolf Swensen, who got smacked in the mouth by an oblivious Randy when he was high-fiving contestants.

Before I go, I leave you with my favourite Steven Tyler quotes of the night.

l"What a beautiful choice of notes. When you hit one note in the middle there I went that's it, da ding. You know, you hit that (he mimes the carnival game where you swing a hammer to hit a bell) and yeah, that was so nice" - to Haley Reinhart.

l"I found you to be disturbingly great, weird, compelling, great" - to Steve Beghun.

l"I never heard anybody squeeze the flavour of that song. You squeezed it out so slow it was like vanilla fudge in 'Eleanor Rigby'" to Albert Rogers III, a good Obama impersonator but a bad singer of "Stand By Me."

l"Why, you look like you could be one of my ... nope ... one of my friends, that's it" - to starstruck fan Alyson Jados.

l"You know I'm colour blind, but unless you borrowed my lipstick is that your real lips?" - to rosy-lipped Scott Dangerfield.

l"Who knew what's going on at the White House?" - to Molly DeWolf Swensen.

So that's it until Thursday night at 8 p.m. on A when Idol rolls into Nashville. I'll be watching and blogging. Hope you'll be reading.

(The photo of Haley Reinhart is by Michael Becker for Fox.)

Canada Sings! is ready to get its glee on

We always knew Toronto firefighters could do stuff besides put out fires, like pose for photos in calendars, but it turns out they can sing too.

The Toronto Fire Department is one of the workplaces whose glee clubs were chosen for Canada Sings!, a new Global TV reality show in which teams of singers will battle it out for bragging rights and a donation to a charity of their choice.

Shaw Media, which owns Global, says the teams and their routines have been chosen, and shooting will take place over the next few weeks. Each club will get help polishing its performance from choreographers and vocal coaches, including Christian Vincent (above, the dance captain for Madonna’s "Drowned World Tour"), Kelly Konno (left, the choreographer for Michael Bublé’s "Feeling Good" music video), Scott Henderson (below right, a founding member of R&B group The EarthTONES) and Sharron Matthews (bottom, a cabaret performer who has been in The Music Man and Hairspray: The Movie).

The show is called Canada Sings!, but it's looking a lot like the Greater Toronto Area sings based on the list of participants released. Besides the firefighters, the other workplaces taking part include Air Canada (a cargo department based at Pearson airport); Boiler House Restaurant (in Toronto's Distillery District); Eric Hamber Secondary School in Vancouver; Good Life Fitness in Toronto; Hamilton Police; Just Energy in Mississauga; Lone Wolf Real Estate Technologies in Cambridge, Ont.; Scarborough General Hospital; The Keg (the Keg Mansion in Toronto).

Other details are yet to be revealed, including the show host, the celebrity judges and when it will be on air. You know I'll keep you posted.

Don't forget you can follow me on Twitter here.

 

The Bachelor: A leap of faith for love (spoiler alert)

(Brad Womack and some of his bachelorettes visit Dr. Drew's Loveline radio show on The Bachelor in an ABC photo by Rick Rowell.)

I had an awful moment of deja vu watching The Bachelor on Monday night. There was Brad Womack rappelling down a building with Michelle, the bachelorette who gets my vote for most needy, narcissistic and just out-and-out annoying.

That's pretty much how I felt about Vienna in Jake Pavelka's season of The Bachelor. And I distinctly recall Jake and Vienna bonding during a date in which they "faced their fears" by bungee jumping, much the same way Brad and Michelle bonded by facing their fear of being suspended off the side of a really tall building.

Of course, we all know that Jake chose Vienna in the end. If Brad is silly enough to choose Michelle (I haven't read the spoilers about who he ends up with and I'm not going to) I predict that union will last about as long.

Maybe if we're lucky, Michelle really will elbow Ashley H. in the face, as she threatened to, and she'll get the heave ho.

More likely, she'll keep on getting roses. Personally, I've had about as much as I can stand of Michelle's whining, pouting, crying and insisting that Brad is hers, all hers, but what would a reality show be without a villain?

Michelle wasn't the only one pouting and crying on Monday's show. Insecurities were running rampant among several of the girls, including first date Ashley H. (see, we told you it sucks to get the first date) and potential front-runner Chantal.

It was nice of the producers to stir the pot by having Brad whisk Emily away in the middle of the rose ceremony cocktail party for a private picnic on the terrace.

It was also nice of Jamie, the therapist who makes house calls, to give Brad permission to keep sucking face with as many women as he likes.

"Whoever you feel a connection to you have to explore it fully. If you want to kiss them, go for it," said Jamie with a straight face.

"I needed that validation," said a pleased Brad. "It's okay to have feelings for different women." (Well, yeah, because if you didn't it wouldn't be The Bachelor.)

"I'm very excited," said Jamie. (I'm guessing not as excited as Brad.)

So let's break it down and review the episode.

Shiner for a Whiner: As fun as it would have been to learn that one of the other girls, say Chantal or action movie star Shawntel, gave Michelle the black eye we saw in last week's promos, it appears it was self-inflicted in her sleep. Of course, this being Michelle, she tried to spin it to her advantage in the competition. First, she declared, "Today, I woke up with a black eye so I think I deserve a one-on-one date with Brad." Later, she joked that "if I don't get a date this week Brad might get his own black eye." And finally, Michelle got all weepy with Ashley S., complaining that she must have beat herself up because of all the stress she was under. "I wake up with heartburn. I don't sleep." Ashley warned it would only get harder after a one-on-one date. Then Michelle vented her frustration about Brad being out with Chantal, whom she described as "loud and hard ... Chantal is very focused on Brad and she's very headstrong, and if she comes home tonight (from her date) we all need to watch out." Hello! Pot meet kettle.

Diving for Kisses: So Chantal got the show's first solo date. Brad whisked her off in a helicopter to Catalina Island where they were kitted up in wetsuits and helmets and got to walk along the sea floor. In her voiceover during the helicopter ride, Chantal talked about how scared she was of her feelings for Brad -- not as scared as when she found out what they were going to do. What a coincidence that the bachelorette with a fear of deep water got chosen for the underwater date! Despite her professed terror, Chantal decided, "if I just give up and don't do something that scares me, that will just show him I'm not willing to take chances for him." And we couldn't have that, could we?

So down into the water Brad and Chantal went, and soon they were laughing and oohing and aahing over fishies. "I look at me having to face my fear and get into that water a lot like I look at love. When you put yourself out there a whole new world can be opened to you." Gee, how deep (pun intended).

Once dark fell, Brad and Chantal repaired to the Descanso Beach Club where a futon, tiki torches and wine awaited them. Chantal talked a bit about her failed marriage, reassuring Brad that she wants to get married again and have a family. 

"I like you a lot," she told Brad.

"I like you a lot, too, no doubt about it, absolutely no doubt about it," he replied before dispensing one of those therapist-approved kisses.

Chantal also apologized for slapping Brad when they first met, saying she hit him harder than she meant to, but Brad likes it a little rough. "I love the playfulness betwen Chantal and I," he said."She calls me out. She makes me laugh. It really is like having a girlfriend. She puts me in check." That's, um, interesting.

Brad decided that Chantal was "a girl that I could see a very real relationship happening with," so he handed over the date rose. As the rain began falling, they repaired to a tent with another futon, where there was a lot more kissing. Chantal decided that her make it or break it night with Brad "turned out to be a make it night" or, more accurately, make out. "Right now, how I'm feeling is I want to grab Chantal's hand and run away. This is freakin' crazy," said Brad. Of course, that couldn't happen since there was still a group date and another individual date to go.

The Group Date, or Spinning Lines on Loveline: Let's see, not only do you get to go on a date with the guy you like and eight other women, all of whom will be fighting tooth and nail for alone time with him, you get to talk about personal stuff on a syndicated radio program. Fun! Brad took the two Ashleys, Stacey, Lindsay, Britt, Meghan, Alli, Jackie and Canadian girl Lisa to an L.A. studio where they were guests on Dr. Drew's Loveline program. "My main concern is to know that I'm compatible with one if not all of the ladies here," Brad explained to the doc while the women waited in a soundproofed room. "If any of these women hold back I'm going to wonder if they're here for the right reason," Brad said later. Because there is absolutely nothing unreasonable about expecting women you barely know to spill their guts for you and thousands of strangers to hear. Gee, look how well it worked out for Stacey. When Dr. Drew asked the women for a show of hands on who had cheated on someone, Stacey ' fessed up to cheating in college when she was "drunk and stupid." I'm sure it was just a coincidence that Brad, who told Dr. Drew he'd been cheated on, didn't give her a rose later.

The other scintillating confessions included Ashley H. saying she was starting to "retract" from Brad because of the difficulty of seeing him bond with other women and Britt saying she was excited to get to know Brad but got nervous when she was around him.

"Give me the chance to make some time with you, because I feel the same way about you. I'll say that in front of everybody," Brad told Britt.

"Wow, this date was a perfect idea," he enthused afterwards. "It allowed them to really open up. They're telling me so many things and I'm loving it. I cannot wait to see where these relationships go from here."

Where they went at the party that followed the radio show was kind of squirrelly as the girls competed for one-on-one time with Brad. First Stacey snatched him away, making Ashley H. fume, then Alli buttonholed him only to be interrupted by Ashley S. "Every time I've been talking to him he's been stolen from me," complained Alli. "You were with him for, like, 14 hours on a one-on-one date. How dare you? Like, seriously, step back." Then Jackie interrupted Ashley S. and Brad couldn't have been happier. "My God, my good old buddy Dr. Drew, he opened up a can of worms here. Each and every one of them is trying to talk to me tonight. I love it," he crowed.

He didn't love it so much when Ashley H., who spent much of the party swearing, grunting and complaining, snuck up on him when he was playing tonsil hockey with Britt (looks like she got over her nervousness) then gave him the gears for his liaisons with the other women.

"It's so much easier if I say, 'Oh, I don't care about him. I don't f--kin' care,'" said Ashley. "You know how I felt about you the first night or whatever ... I just feel like I haven't felt this way about somebody in so long."

"Why let go of that?" protested Brad.

"It's easier to take a step back," she replied.

"I'm not gonna let you take a step back. Please don't for my sake ... our first date was perfect," cajoled Brad.

"And every other date was perfect too," responded Ashley. Burn!

Brad decided the only way to convince Ashley his feelings were real was to give her the group date rose, but she started up with the growling and complaining when he got to the pool with the rose and Brad had a last-minute change of heart. Britt and her excellent therapeutic kisses got the flower.

The Height of Arrogance: Eventually the universe came to its senses and Michelle got her long-lusted-after solo date with Brad. But wouldn't you know it? Those other pesky women were conspiring to ruin Michelle's big day because they wouldn't shut the hell up about how Ashley H. acted the night before. And then when Brad finally showed up to save her from all their nattering, he -- gasp -- asked Ashley to step out into the garden on a day that was supposed to be all about Michelle. "I'm pissed, it's my day," she fumed. "Whatever issues they have the night before it's really frustrating that they have to hash that out during my time."

In the garden, meanwhile, Brad was reassuring Ashley that he cared about her and "I'm so scared we're going to lose something very cool." And that made Ashley very happy. Michelle, however, was still very unhappy. Chantal interrupted her moaning to point out the parallel between Brad taking Ashley aside and following Michelle for a private chat when she walked off the set of the Red Cross public service announcements a couple of shows ago rather than watch Brad kiss other women. "I don't see why you don't have more sympathy for her," chastised Chantal.

Luckily, Brad returned and Michelle practically dragged him out of the house with an ominous message for Ashley H. "If I don't get the rose because Brad was still dealing with Ashley H.'s issues I will elbow Ashley H. in the face," Michelle told the camera, thrusting her elbow down to demonstrate.

She was all smiles when Brad brought her to his temporary home, thinking they'd be spending the day there, but swore as a helicopter approached. "I'm gonna kill you, where are you taking me?" By the time it landed on a downtown L.A. rooftop, she was "freaking out ... why am I landing on a very high building? I swear on my life I'm gonna throw up."

If the woman who was afraid of water had to go diving, then of course the woman who was afraid of heights would have to rappel down the side of a building. After all, no sacrifice is too great for the man you and 13 other women might love. I was really hoping Michelle would back out and, for a few seconds, it looked like she might, but no such luck. "There's a moment when you're falling in love where you have to let go," declared Michelle. "This is definitely, definitely a leap of faith for love."

Before you know it, they were laughing, holding hands and kissing in mid-air. "To be here with a woman I'm so attracted to and we faced literally our biggest fear together and overcame it, it was absolutely an overwhelming bonding experience," said Brad.

"I am confident of a future with him solely from rappelling off a building," said Michelle. "None of the other girls back home can ever compare to what I've been able to share with him," she boasted.

There was more bonding in a pool, over food and champagne, talk of Michelle's daughter and, of course, lots and lots of kissing. And yes, she got the damn date rose.

"There was no question that Michelle was getting that rose," said Brad. "I can see my life with Michelle working out well, taking care of her daughter, Brielle, hopefully more kids. I see this happening. I do." Ugh.

Every Show Has Its Rose Ceremony: Soon it was time for the cocktail party and Brad was pulling aside women who hadn't had dates that week to reassure them they were still on his radar. Shawntel got to re-enact her moment of glory when she and Brad "starred" in a fake action movie by jumping into his arms and kissing him, which made her night. Meghan didn't get a kiss but was told, "I greatly admire the fact that you are who you are. You don't need to be in the middle of a group of girls dancing in a hot tub to make yourself valid," which sounded like damning with faint praise to me. Emily got to recreate her vineyard date with Brad with the help of a blanket, some wine and some pillows, which had Chantal in tears. "Here I am thinking I'm finally going to feel special with him and I don't. It feels like a punch in the stomach."

Emily charmed Brad with stories of how she left presents and notes for her daughter to open every day she's away doing the show. "I wanted to talk to you. I've missed you badly," said Brad. "It's important for you to know you've been on my mind."

Chantal finally buttonholed Brad and expressed her fears about falling for him. Brad's very romantic response was, "Please be confident in the fact that I am so wildly attracted to the fact that you are everything that I have not been with in my past." Huh? That attraction includes the fact she's not needy, which doesn't explain why he's also wildly attracted to Michelle, who is the epitome of needy, but I digress. Chantal walked away happy because Brad -- wait for it -- kissed her. Man must have magic lips.

When all was said and done, roses were given to Ashley S., Alli, Emily, Shawntel, Lisa, Jackie, Marissa and Ashley H., while Michelle, Chantal and Britt already had roses. That meant Lindsay, Stacey and Meghan were done. Only Lindsay succumbed to tears on her exit.

Next week, the 11 women who are left head to Vegas. It looks like potential trouble for Emily and Brad when a visit to a racetrack reminds her of her race car driver fiance who was killed in a plane crash, and Chantal appears to blow another gasket over her insecurity. And we see Ashley S. crying and Chantal pointing at something offscreen and saying, "Omigawd."

You know I'll be watching Monday at 8 p.m. on Citytv and then recapping all the drama right here. Join me and tell me if Michelle bugs you as much as she bugs me.

Live to Dance: Another act takes flight but ratings drop (spoiler alert)

First off, apologies for not getting the recap up sooner, but I have been all about American Idol the last couple of days. In fact, I didn't even watch Live to Dance until Friday morning over breakfast.

Mind you, judging by the ratings, I'm not certain how many of you are actually reading these recaps. The Wednesday episode only pulled in 5.2 million viewers in the U.S., which is down from 7.8 million the week before.

The blog TV by the Numbers says that's less viewers than reruns of The New Adventures of Old Christine and Gary Unmarried pulled last season against Idol for CBS. Ouch.

Anyhoo, here's what you missed if you weren't watching Wednesday: six more acts competed for a spot in the finals. They included Jalen, the 9-year-old break dancer from Seattle, Wash.; Dance in Flight, a ballroom couple from Valley Village, Calif.; Twitch, the contemporary group of eight girls and one guy from Miami; Du-Shaunt Stegall, a 16-year-old hip hopper from Las Vegas; Lindy hoppers Dax & Sarah from Los Angeles; and White Tree Fine Art, the ballet couple from San Francisco.

My personal favourite was Jalen. The kid totally upped his game after some mentoring from head judge Paula Abdul.

"Wait a minute, I think you're not 9, I think you're 19," said Paula after congratulating Jalen for working his little butt off.

"That was really good, really, really good," said Travis Payne. "I asked you to come back with new moves and you did. You are a joy to watch." But he asked Jalen to put more dance steps in between the tricks if he makes the finals.

"You are so deserving another gold star," said Kimberly Wyatt. And, indeed, Jalen got three of them.

The tiny breaker and Twitch were the only two acts to get perfect gold stars from the judges. But they weren't the act the judges put through to the semifinals. That was White Tree Fine Art.

I'll give husband and wife Ethan and Nikki White this much: they did up their game Wednesday. I liked the lifts, and having Ethan perform on an aerial silk (Paula had asked him "to fly") added visual interest to their routine, but these two are far from the best ballet dancers I've ever seen.

Travis seems to agree. He gave them a red star and said, "Guys, I always enjoy the lines you create and the imagery that you make. I just don't get excited, I just don't." But Paula and Kimberly love them so they're off to the finals.

As for the rest of the performers on Wednesday: for starters, Dance in Flight made me yawn. I mean kudos to Gary, 44, and Cate, 50, for challenging their bodies the way they do with all those lifts, but as far as ballroom dance goes, I think D'Angelo, who's 9, and Amanda, who's 10, can wipe the floor with them. And by the way, those kids got voted into the finals over Jittin' Genius. Way to go, America!

I was also underwhelmed by Dax & Sarah. Dax hurt his back and there were doubts as to whether he could perform on Wednesday. I can only imagine how much dance injuries suck, but the resulting routine played it way too safe and, as Travis said, was boring. They still got two gold stars from Paula and Kimberly.

The act that did worst in the judges' eyes was Du-Shaunt Stegall. I liked him a lot when I saw his first audition, but I think he overthought his routine. There were some really good isolations at the beginning, but then the quality dropped off. Better to have kept the shirt on and put more oomph into the dancing. Paula recommended he take some classes in styles other than hip-hop, which was good advice. He got three red stars.

And that brings us to Twitch, which was one of my favourites coming into the semifinals. I still think they're very good. I would have liked to see more varied types of movement in their routine, but they're still pretty awesome.

My guess is that either Twitch or Jalen will get the viewer vote into the finals. We find out next Wednesday at 8 p.m. on A. I'll be watching (just not sure when) and will recap it when I get the chance.

(The photo of Jalen performing is by Monty Brinton for CBS.)

American Idol ratings drop again

 
(Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson during New Jersey auditions in a Fox photo by Michael Becker.)

The numbers are in for Part 2 of American Idol's Season 10 premiere and they're down again.

The Nielsen Company says 22.6 million viewers watched in the U.S. on  Thursday. According to Zap2it.com, that's down 24 per cent from the same episode last year and down 14 per cent from Wednesday night's show.

A drop was not unexpected since Thursday is a new night for Idol. But it seems some of those who swore they'd never watch again after last season's snoozefest are sticking to their word.

To put it in perspective, 22.6 million is still an amazing number for a single TV episode. As executive producer Nigel Lythgoe tweeted Friday morning, "It is still the number 1 show in the country after 10 years."

Still, it's a little curious that all the buzz about new judges Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler (who many bloggers have declared the new star of the show) haven't translated into bigger ratings. I think Steven's witty and loopy enough to be interesting, but he's no Simon Cowell. And let's face it, the one thing that made sitting through the worst auditions bearable was anticipating what Simon was going to say.

But it wasn't just the putdowns that made him watchable. I enjoyed hearing what he said to the good singers as well. A yes vote from Simon somehow carried more cachet.

Personally, I'll be watching to see if the ratings climb during Hollywood Week or when the live performances start. Maybe those who are skipping Simon-less audition shows will jump back on the bandwagon once most of the chaff has been discarded. Or maybe not.

American Idol: Shirtless in New Orleans

The new American Idol is a mainly happy place.

It's a place where Randy Jackson can hobnob with his old high school coach and the coach's niece can sing well enough to get to Hollywood; a place where a guy takes his shirt off in front of Jennifer Lopez to satisfy a bet and nobody's offended, Randy and Steven Tyler even join in; a place where a singer who's just been told he's terrible thanks the judges; and where the most interesting voices come out of the most unlikely looking individuals. It's all good, dawg. 

Part 2 of the Season 10 premiere took the Idol machine to New Orleans, a place the show hadn't been in a really long while judging by the clip of an impossibly young-looking Ryan Seacrest from the first time around.

Of course, just in case we missed the fact we were in New Orleans -- or N'awlins as we got reminded by one of the locals -- we got to see a baby alligator and swampland and a riverboat or two, and an antebellum mansion, and we were reminded that the city is the birthplace of jazz, one of the contestants was called a southern belle and the crowd was described as reaching "Mardi Gras intensity." Steven even showed up the first day of auditions with a jaunty feather in a tiny black top hat. "You know what they say about a little hat, it's good for a little (bleep)," he said to the camera (I don't know what the bleep was).

It was a case though of same stuff, different city, as the show followed the familiar pattern: here's the big crowd at the convention centre (or stadium or wherever); here come the judges; here's a good audition; here are his relatives jumping up and down as he waves his golden ticket; here are some clips of bad auditions with suitable looks of horror on the judges' faces; here's another good auditioner; rinse, repeat, with some touching back stories thrown in for good measure. At least there was less screen time devoted to the tone deaf than in New Jersey, maybe because this episode was only an hour long.

Let's talk about the good. Here are the people I took notice of:

lJacee Badeaux, 15, Lafayette, La.: Best voice of the night in my humble opinion, but you never would have thunk it when the unassuming teen stepped onto the platform, even though he said he thinks he's the next American Idol. Then out came a well-modulated, virtually note perfect rendition of "(Sittin' on) the Dock of the Bay." Steven called Jacee's voice "a work of art, a thing of beauty, you sing so good." The lad needs a little help with his presentation, though, after he responded to JLo's urging to "give it to us" by pointing to the spot on his wrist where a watch would be when he got to the lyric "wastin' time."

lSarah Sellers, 28, Richardson, Texas: She did a fine job of "Make You Feel My Love," even sounding a touch Joplinesque when she let the rough parts of her voice take over. The marketing analyst, and food and music blogger, also seems pretty self-possessed, engaging in lighthearted banter with Randy and Steven about her Tyleresque lips. My one reservation: will she remind people of last year's runner-up, Crystal Bowersox, when she hits full throttle?

lJovany Barreto, 23, Harvey, La.: This shipbuilder whose parents come from Cuba has a voice to match his brash confidence. Steven called it delicious. "When you get to a whisper it's beautiful, just as beautiful as when you hit the highest, loudest, belting note that you can do," Jennifer said. Jovany, who called JLo his goddess, had a $1 million bet with his co-workers that he would take his shirt off in front of her. So he did, with apologies to her husband Marc Anthony, his idol. Steven and Randy lifted their shirts in solidarity, daring to show their softer physiques against Jovany's well-cut chest and abs as JLo mock-complained they were ruining her moment. "We all look the same, it's crazy," said Randy.

lBrett Loewenstern, 16, Boca Raton, Fla.: Here's the night's other surprise, a teen with long red curly hair who clearly marches to the beat of his own drummer. Brett's video pack described the bullying he'd been suffering since Grade 3 and how he finally "became happy in my own shell." He described himself as "a red apple in a pile of green apples, you know, I like to stand out." I wasn't feeling optimistic about this one, especially after he started his audition trying to bond with Tyler over a random wave from the elevator (which Steven clearly didn't remember) and the baby oil they had both used on their long locks -- even more so when he said his favourite song to sing was "Bohemian Rhapsody." But he handled it well, even the higher notes, and has a pleasant tone to his voice. Jennifer said it gave her goose pimples and Randy said it was hot. "In New Orleans, that's the way you nail an audition, right guys?" he asked the other two before they all shouted a yes to Hollywood.

I wasn't crazy about a few other singers who got through (and this is all really subjective, it appears one of the singers I was iffy on in Jersey, Robbie Rosen, was a big hit with other bloggers), including Jordan Dorsey, 21, of LaPlace, La.; Jacquelyn Dupree, 24, of Summit, Miss., and Paris Tassin, 23, of New Orleans.

Jordan can sing, but I didn't like the runs and other embellishments the musician and piano teacher put in his version of "Over the Rainbow." Too showy by half I thought, but it was goose pimples for JLo and yeses all around for a ticket to Hollywood.

Jacquelyn and Paris are both belters and I'm not crazy about belters.

I guess it would have sucked had Jacquelyn not got through given that her uncle was Randy's high school football coach and he accompanied her to the audition. She even brought copies of high school photos of Randy, who was born and raised in nearby Baton Rouge. I didn't love her rendition of "I'll Stand by You," but Randy found her voice powerful and Steven liked the ups and downs in it.

As for Paris, I thought she was really reaching for some of the notes, but her ace in the hole was the emotion she brought to her version of Carrie Underwood's "Temporary Home." She had Jennifer in tears. "I could just feel what you were singing and I know it meant something to you," JLo said. The deal was sealed when Paris told the judges she was singing for her special needs daughter, hearing impaired after being born with hydrocephalus: "I want to teach her, go for your dreams," said Paris, choking back tears. "I love to sing, I love to sing, it's my dream." After Steven dispatched Paris with a directive to "hold your little baby girl," the judges all clasped hands and Steven said, "I'm thinking it's one of the best days we've had. Look at this baby, look at her face," pointing to tear-streaked Jennifer. JLo couldn't resist giving Paris and her daughter a big hug as she left the audition room.

Worst audition of the night had to be Gabriel Franks, a 24-year-old pizza maker from Baton Rouge. Despite having won a Steven Tyler look-alike contest and having Mick Jagger's mouth, according to Steven, Gabriel took his shot with a dreadful version of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance," a song that no one but Gaga should ever sing unless they're trying to be ironic. Not only did Gabriel mangle the notes, his singing stance involved looking at the ceiling and rolling his eyes around in their sockets. The no's came right away, though Randy added, "but I enjoyed you." Gabriel left meekly, telling the judges he appreciated their time.

Heck, bad singer No. 2, 18-year-old Alex Attardo of New Orleans, even thanked them after being told his rendition of "Proud Mary" was terrible. Alex had gone to an Idol camp when he was 15, which Randy joked should be cancelled. "You were so off the melody of that song ..." began Steven. "Honestly, it's terrible, it really was, honestly. You come here 'cause you want the truth," added Randy.

And that's about as harsh as it got in New Orleans. Next stop, next Wednesday, is Milwaukee.

Before I go, though, I wanted to list Steven's best lines of the night:

l"You had me sold the second you laid eyes on me," he told Sarah Sellers and then, to a puzzled Randy, "You'll get it later."

l"So coach, did you ever paddle his ass?" to Randy's former football coach, Gerry Wilkinson.

l"Baby oil, wow, I used to do that. I just use buc, buc, buc (making chicken sounds). That's the name of it, says it right on the bottom," discussing hair care with Brett Loewenstern.

If you're still on board for the audition tour, you can tune in Wednesday at 8 p.m. on CTV and, as always, look for the recap here.

(The photo of Gabriel Franks is by Michael Becker for Fox.)

An American Idol oops

I was absolutely convinced, after watching the American Idol premiere Wednesday night, that the words "Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a child?" -- referring to horrible singer Michael Perotto -- came out of judge Randy Jackson's mouth.

But everything I read on Thursday, including the post of Idol blogger extraordinaire Michael Slezak, indicates it was Steven Tyler who made the comment.

I went home and checked the tape of Wednesday's show just to be certain and, sure enough, I messed up and misattributed the quote in my original blog post. So sorry Randy, Steven was the meanie on Wednesday night.