04/06/2011

Excuses not to go to the royal wedding

With Stephen Harper turning down his royal wedding invitation to focus on the election, it got us wondering: What's the best excuse could you give to get out of the royal wedding?:

My dog ate the invitation:

It may be the oldest line in the book, but British socialite Tara Palmer-Tomkinson revealed Monday that her dog had in fact eaten her royal wedding invitation. Palmer-Tomkinson is still planning to make it to the big day -- a good thing because no one would believe this excuse.

I'm sparing you the hassle of protests:

Many were shocked when the King of Bahrain, a man currently leading a brutal crackdown against pro-democracy campaigners in his country, was faxed an invite by the Queen.

There was much speculation that anti-Hamad bin Issa al–Khalifa protesters would try to disrupt the wedding celebrations.

While St. James' Palace gave no reason for the King's invitation decline, the thought of protesters with placards as part of your wedding gift must have had some bearing.

I might just be in jail that day:

That could have been the excuse of the late Princess Diana's niece Lady Amelia Spencer, who was charged with common assault in Cape Town after an early morning brawl outside of a McDonald's. Luckily for the 18-year-old Spencer, the charges were dropped so she will be able to attend the big day with the 11 other members of the Spencer clan set to attend.

I was rude to your grandmother:

During a recent appearance of Saturday Night LIve, Sir Elton John called the Queen a "mean old b****'" as part of one of the sketches.  As far as we know John is still planning to attend the wedding,  but it would be a spectacular way to refuse an invite.

I'd only go to your wedding if I was injured:

New Zealand All Black Richie McCaw has turned down his invitation to the royal wedding to focus on the Super 15 and the Rugby World Cup.

"I did get an invitation, it was a heck of an honour and I felt a bit lucky," McCaw told the New Zealand Herald.

"Had I still been injured and it had not been a World Cup year, then I'm sure things would have been different."

If you want to go to the wedding...

What happens to the open seats? So far, Buckingham Palace is refusing to comment but if you're in London with a plus one, it might be worth heading over to Westminster Abbey on April 29th with a crumpled up fax, just in case.

 

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