Them's fighting words, Will and Kate


Yes, they are royalty, and live in (many) nice places, and have lots of money, and have people smiling at them all the time, and go to many places on other people’s dime … but they are still newlyweds on their first anniversary.

And that means we’re betting that Will and Kate get on each other’s nerves now and then. You know, leaving the top off the toothpaste, dirty underwear strewn about, picking teeth at the table … manners that start to slide when you get comfortable.

We know what they are like in public -- just about perfect for gawds sake -- but there’s absolutely no way they can be like that behind closed doors.

The learning curve in the first year of marriage is steep. One of the most valuable things newlyweds discover is what NOT to say to spark an argument. And that takes time.

So, in celebration of their April 29 first anniversary, we offer this advice: Avoid uttering the following sentences, or risk a royal rumble:


“I don’t mind being polite, but I’ll be damned if I curtsy to your dad.”














Kate kissWilliam:

“Is that a grey hair?”

















"No offence, dear, but is blue the only colour in your closet?"













“Look, ‘commoner’ is just an expression, okay?”







"Six weeks in the Falklands and you can't even bring me back a t-shirt?”









“You putting on weight?”











Prince philip


“If your grandfather calls me Pippa one more time ….”











"Hold still. I'm checking my makeup in your head."









“You paid WHAT for those shoes?”










“Just one more thing … you’ve got to walk behind me at all times.”


















“If your grandmother told you to jump off a bridge, would you do that, too?”








“I know we want to be normal, but just how many bathrooms do you expect me to clean while you’re off in your whirlybird?”





Harry drink Pippa[1]









        “Pippa’s coming over. Hide the gun.”



“Harry’s coming over. Hide the liquor.”



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