10/19/2012

'Name's Kate. Duchess Kate.' 10 perfect lines for a royal Bond Girl

Kate baftaThe great thing about James Bond movies is that they are so unbelievable on so many levels.

So, given that fantasy has overtaken reality, why not conduct a nationwide poll on who would make the list of dream Bond girls?

A gadget company in Britain did (www.menkind.co.uk) and -- no surprise -- the Duchess of Cambridge topped the list, rising above the usual celebrity suspects to act as a Bond foil and love interest. Rihanna was second in this poll that was revealed Friday, followed by Beyonce Knowles and, of course, Kim Kardashian (what list could do without her?).

As everyone knows, there as much chance of Kate being a Bond girl as seeing the Queen jump out of a plane with 007 .... oh .... so maybe there's a slim chance. She is, after all, an adventure seeker, at home in a formal gown or well-worn jeans, athletically-inclined, and something of a romantic.

"We were surprised to see that Kate Middleton was the woman Britain most wanted to see getting to grips with Bond and his gadgets," said Paul Kraftman, MenKind spokesman.

"Although her grandmother-in-law has proved that the royals are a dab hand at super spy action, when Bond escorted her to the Olympics. It is Her Majesty's Secret Service, after all."

And as long as that's the case, why not give Kate some dialogue in her future Bond film?

To wit ... here are 10 actual lines from actual Bond girls in actual Bond films that are must-haves for Duchess Kate to utter should she accept the assignment.

If you're already into Bond films, you know all about suspending reality. Just close your eyes and imagine the Duchess doing this dialogue:

1 (Thunderball)

"Do you like wild things, Mr. Bond, James Bond?"

2 (You Only Live Twice)

Bond: "We're supposed to be on honeymoon.

Kate: "Think again, please. This is business."

TETBURY, ENGLAND - AUGUST 6 Kate Middleton, girlfriend of Prince William, attends the second day of the Gatcombe Park Festival of British Eventing at Gatcombe Park, on August 6, 2005 near Tetbury, England.3 (Live and Let Die)

"The first time in my life, I feel like a complete woman."

4 (The Man With the Golden Gun)

"My hard-to-get act didn't last very long, did it?"

5 (The Spy Who Loved Me)

"You're not trying to take advantage of me, are you?"

6 (The Living Daylights)

"If only I could find a real man."

7 (Never Say Never Again)

Kate: 'Oh, how reckless of me. I've made you all wet.'

Bond: 'Yes, but my martini's still dry.'

8 (A View to a Kill)

“The bubbles. They tickle my ... Tchaikovsky!"

9 (The Spy Who Loved Me)

Kate: 'But, James, I need you.'

Bond: 'So does England!'

10 (The Spy Who Loved Me)

“When this mission is over, I will kill you."

Of course, it's also possible she has already said some of these things in real life.

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