Have a nice weekend

Sorry. Have to run. Just got this obnoxious exciting new cookbook. Can't wait to order Chinese food as usual try it out. I'm sure there are some pies shaped like Robert Pattinson's hair and meatloaf containing real werewolf wonderful, nutricious recipes.

Reason number 679 that scientists need to read more science fiction

"Scientists at Intel's research lab in Pittsburgh are working to find ways to read and harness human brain waves so they can be used to operate computers, television sets and cell phones. The brain waves would be harnessed with Intel-developed sensors implanted in people's brains . . . "We're trying to prove you can do interesting things with brain waves," said [Intel research scientist Dean] Pomerleau. "Eventually people may be willing to be more committed ... to brain implants. Imagine being able to surf the Web with the power of your thoughts." via io9.com.

J.Lo's new song is about shoes. Or something

It's called "Louboutins" and it hurts worse than running a marathon wearing a pair of four-inch heels.

New Alice In Wonderland art

That Cheshire Cat is the best thing of the day.

Rugby fan wins $400,000

(via buzzfeed)

HBO warnings

And there's more here.

Twi-hate round-up

While Billy Burke and Justin Chon attended the New Moon preview screening special extravaganza at The Elgin last night, critics were busy helping the movie to an ugly 28 per cent fresh at rottentomatoes. While New Moon is as critic proof as fresh water after five days in the desert and/or Transformers, these are still fun:

"Tedious, long-winded and not so much undead as almost entirely devoid of life."

"Pseudo-religious nonsense, with fangs."

"The Twilight Saga: New Moon plays like a 130 minute trailer for a movie called The Twilight Saga: New Moon."

"... verging on misogynistic."

"The cinematic equivalent of a Jonas Brothers concert, The Twilight Saga: New Moon is slickly packaged entertainment that’s nonetheless predicated on a creepy vision of teenage sexuality that is desiccated of, well, sexuality."

"There is one thing to be said about the way Weitz handles time travel. He can make two hours and 10 minutes seem like a thousand years."

"...laughably silly and unfathomably dull."

"All three lovers are so joyless, it's hard to imagine why any of them would want to spend eternity together."

"Depending on your gender, age and Twihard-ness, this good-looking angst party is either a solid Meyer adaptation with quiver-worthy moments of hotness; or a wet, ludicrous, unintentionally-funny pile of steaming bathos."

"The most surprising thing about New Moon, the second film in the Twilight series, is how much worse it is than the first."

"Director Chris Weitz proves that The Golden Compass was no fluke: He really is a non-master of action."

"I can't comment on the acting because I didn't catch Pattinson, Stewart and Lautner doing any."

"Even with a decent director at the helm, The Twilight Saga always will be hampered by Meyer's juvenile prose."

"Uncritical celebration of that overwrought, obsessive passion that is the hallmark of immaturity, that subordinates all sense of one's own identity and readily leaps to suicidal impulses and fantasies."

"Most of the movie is concerned with the glum, lonely Bella, who just doesn't know what to do with herself — and it looks as though the film-makers were similarly stumped."  

"Like a teenage girl trying to adapt her diary into a one-woman show, Rosenberg has turned Stephenie Meyer's work into something that thinks it's Shakespeare but never resonates with an ounce of true emotion."

But what the hell do they know?

TORONTO STAR PHOTO/STEVE RUSSELL

Jason Segel sings with The Swell Season

(Thank you, Ariel)

While you were sleeping

...brought to you by Heidi Klum walking the runway six weeks after giving birth to her fourth child. Just in case you weren't feeling bad about yourself already this morning, I thought I'd give the old loathing a nudge. You're welcome.

So, last night I went to hear Stephen King and David Cronenberg have a conversation at The Canon Theatre. I should probably have taken notes, but sometimes I like to just sit and listen like a normal person. A couple of observations, though: 1) They both have really good hair. 2) Cronenberg may have missed a calling as a stand-up comedian. Very funny. Good zingers. 3) George Stroumboulopoulos, who made the introductions, should have stuck around (and not just because he's nice to look at). The conversation, as entertaining as it was, was all over the place and needed some structure. The event would have benefitted greatly from a professional moderator. 4) You'd think King would have taken the opportunity to announce this:

Steven Spielberg to develop Under The Dome From Variety: "Steven Spielberg and Stephen King are joining forces to develop a limited series based on King's just-released supernatural thriller "Under the Dome." DreamWorks TV has optioned the book and is looking to set it up as an event series, likely for cable. DreamWorks principal Stacey Snider was key in bringing the project to the company. Spielberg, King and Snider will exec produce along with DreamWorks TV chiefs Darryl Frank and Justin Falvey.Book, which has earned strong reviews as a return to form for the prolific author, revolves around the drama that unfolds after an invisible force field suddenly descends on a small vacation town in Maine. As the locals fight for their survival, the town descends into warring factions led by enigmatic characters. DreamWorks is starting to meet with writers for the project."

Clear your calendar for Feb. 2 "ABC has confirmed that Lost will kick off its sixth and final season with a two-hour premiere on Tuesday, Feb. 2 from 9-11 pm. The requisite recap special will start things off at 8 pm. The following week, Lost will settle into its regular Tuesday-9 pm perch." Ausiello.

Blah, blah, Oprah to end show in 2011, blah, blah If you haven't heard, here are some details.

Whew, Zac and Vanessa are still together We can all relax: "Are Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens about to call it quits? No way, a source close to the couple tells Us. The pal cough. Vanessa. cough scoffs really? "scoffs?" Who the hell "scoffs?" Have you ever "scoffed?" at a new National Enquirer story entitled "Zac and Vanessa Finished - she just doesn't know it yet." In fact, the couple are doing just fine, the source says, adding, "they spent months together up in Vancouver, where they are both filming movies." "Things are going well with them," the source says. "They are happy." 

Split "James Van Der Beek has filed for divorce from his wife of nearly six years, actress Heather Ann McComb, Los Angeles court records show. The couple had no children together. The pair separated earlier this year." People.

AP Photo/Jason DeCrow

Happy b-day!

Jim Brown of UB40 is 52 today. Here’s a song. Other celebs birthdaying: Actress-comedian Kaye Ballard is 84. Actress Estelle Parsons is 82. TV personality Richard Dawson is 77. Comedian Dick Smothers is 71. Singer Norman Greenbaum is 67. Actress Veronica Hamel is 66. Broadcast journalist Judy Woodruff is 63. Actor Samuel E. Wright is 63. Musician Joe Walsh is 62. Actor Richard Masur is 61. Actress Bo Derek is 53. Actress Sean Young is 50. Pianist Jim Brickman is 48. Todd Nance of Widespread Panic is 47. Actress Ming-Na is 46. Mike D of the Beastie Boys is 44. Sen Dog of Cypress Hill is 44. Actress Marisa Ryan is 35. Country singer Dierks Bentley is 34. Actor Joshua Gomez is 34. Singer Josh Turner is 32. Actress Nadine Velazquez is 31. Jared Followill of Kings of Leon is 23.