Programming note

I will not be joining you tomorrow. I have a pile of shows on my DVR that needs watching important grown-up things (and stuff) to do. But my interview with Stephen King will run in Sunday's paper. You should read it. It's kinda okay. He was nice and my nervousness did not cause me to vomit. What more can you ask for?

And don't forget to watch Supernatural tonight.

Your new favourite show: Jersey Shore

Brought to you by the letters Gross & Ewww: Jon Gosselin sex tape?

The often accurate National Enquirer has this ick:

"New bombshell allegations that  may cost Jon Gosselin his legal war with TLC and custody of his beloved children as well! Jon Gosselin's day in court could end with him losing his children - due to a sex tape scandal and allegations of cocaine use! Jon's bodyguard Thomas Meinelt has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC's lawsuit against Jon, and The Enquirer has learned Meinelt claims he saw Jon snort cocaine many times, and that he's watched Jon's secret sex tape! "Tom told me that Jon was secretly videotaped having sex with a woman in Los Angeles in October, and he's seen the tape!" said Stephanie Santoro, Jon's former flame and family nanny. "Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him. "He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!" As The Enquirer previously reported,  sources say Jon's on-off GF Hailey Glassman sold and used cocaine while in college." 

Really, Volvo? Really?

Britney Spears is not the bride of Satan

... nor does she long for a new world order. Someone hacked her Twitter. Or did they?

(from TMZ)

Best sneakers ever. Today

These Star Trek sneakers better be available at the Canadian branch of Payless, is all I can say. (via io9)

Neither happy nor sad

Sometimes you're just sorta in between. Muslix makes me feel like that. It's a neutral substance. You know? No? Take a look at this diagram, then. It explains in an easy to understand manner stuff that elicits no extreme emotion. (And I'm sorry, but I can't remember where I found it. So, if you made it, I wasn't trying to steal it and not credit you. I just lost time again).

One more thing that's bringing about the end of civilization

I had no idea. I bet you didn't either. We shouldn't be afraid of comets and contagions. There are worse things in life. Like, erm, peeing while sitting down. Help spread the word. Maybe we can stop the Apocalypse. (There is some mildly bad language. But it's a preacher so it's probably okay). Via buzzfeed.

Fright Night is being remade

I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand: Marti Noxon is great. On the other: Who could possibly replace Chris Sarandon and Roddy McDowall? And furthermore: enough with the bleeping remakes. Have an original idea, already.

From Hollywood Reporter: "Can you dispatch a vampire with a martini and cigarette smoke? "Mad Men" writer-producer Marti Noxon has been hired to pen DreamWorks Studios' revamp of the 1985 horror comedy "Fright Night." Before her work on AMC's "Mad Men," Noxon was a writer-producer on the bloodsucker series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel," so fangs and stakes are in her blood. Producers Michael De Luca, Michael Gaeta and Alison Rosenzweig set up the "Fright" project in May. DreamWorks executive Mark Sourian is overseeing for the studio. The original "Fright," released in 1985, was written and directed by Tom Holland and starred Chris Sarandon, Roddy McDowall and William Ragsdale. Ragsdale played a teenager who discovers his neighbors are vampires. The new version will keep the comedy-horror tone while modernizing the effects."
Alright. After having had a look at the old trailer, I have to admit the effects could do with about 300 pounds of modernization.

Dina and Michael Lohan: The world's worst parents, part 57

From radaronline: "In another exclusive audio tape obtained by RadarOnline.com, Dina Lohan admits her daughter Lindsay Lohan is drinking again. In the phone call, which was recorded in New York, Dina tells her ex-husband and Lindsay's father, Michael that, "time is running out with this kid. I know, I'm her mother and I feel it and I'm scared." She continues: "She'll open up to you but it's nothing compared to what's going on with this kid. And don't tell her I told you anything or try to weasel s--t out of her... she'll tell you when she's ready to talk about s--t. Right now all I know is she's starting to drink and that's bad." On Wednesday, Dina responded to the tapes, calling Michael's decision to release them "unforgivable" and said that she is working with Lindsay's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holly, to have him incarcerated for recording the calls during a time when Lohan was under an order of protection and not supposed to contact Dina or the family. Michael told RadarOnline.com, "that's bulls***. I called the house to talk to the kids and she would get on the phone and tell me all of this stuff. I couldn't control that. I have all the tapes to prove it."