Afternoon delights

MATT SAYLES/AP PHOTO Despite earlier reports to the contrary, People mag says the twin wonders are still safely contained within the Jolie-esque womb.

People Magazine sucks the fun out of everything The mag says an actual rep for the Brangelina's tells them there has been no blessed twin event. Downer.

Squeee Lots of me people are already excited about Stephenie Meyer's Breaking Dawn, the fourth book in the Twilight Saga, aka the glowy vampire series, which will be released Aug. 2. EW has the first page up. If you're really hardcore, you can spend some $15 on the Eclipse special edition and get the whole first chapter. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you will not care anyway, so don't bother getting all "what is she talking about." Meyer's website is here.

This all ties neatly into the MTV Movie Awards Why? Because the first clip from the Twilight movie will air on Sunday during the preshow. I can't, of course, guarantee that we'll see it here. For all I know we'll get a Canadian Tire commercial or a PSA about sneezing into your sleeve or a promo for an old Corner Gas instead. Movie Awards and MTV Canada.

Denise Richards is not going to like this Rush & Molloy report that Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller are getting married tonight and that the bride-to-be may be pregnant. More here.

Also exciting The superb, R-rated trailer for the Coen Brothers' Burn After Reading, which one of you alerted me to. The movie premieres Sept. 12. click for funny stuff.

Twins kinda confirmed

ET online says that Isla Marcheline and Amelie Jane Jolie-Pitt have indeed arrived and promises to keep us all updated on the story as more information flows. Still no official confirmation from the main players in the story, but Zahara is probably dialing Access Hollywood right now. She hates ET. I pity Amelie Jane. The other kids are going to make fun of her for her boring, conventional name.

There's a possibility the Jolie-Pitt wonder twins have arrived

OK! Magazine reports that some unnamed and unknown sources in France insist Brangelina's twins have been born already. An independent and super-dodgy source says the girls were born this past Monday and have been named Isla Marcheline Jolie-Pitt and Amelie Jane Jolie-Pitt. Sadly, it's a blog I can't point you to because some people on it use very ugly language, but this is repeatable: "Born on May 26, 2008 near Pitt and Jolie’s home on the French Riviera; the two girls were the second and third biological children for the couple. They were delivered in a French hospital, however, Jolie’s regular obstetrician, Dr. Jason Rothbart, who also delivered Shiloh, was flown in to deliver the twins by C-Section." Take it all with many grains of salt. Cute names, though.

Steve Tyler's feet hurt

STAR FILE PHOTO Steven Tyler's feet. Not exactly as illustrated. But pretty close.

Sometime around Monday or Tuesday Kirsten Dunst said that she went to rehab earlier this year because she was depressed, not because she had any kind of drug/alcohol/pill/powder/glue problem. Now, Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler says he's at the Las Encinas drug rehab facility because he's recuperating from having foot surgery and needed a place to "shut off my phone." Interesting. Does this all mean the "Let me tell you all about my rehab" phase of celebrity culture is over? Is there a new trend towards shyness when it comes to admitting you have a serious problem not downing a whole bottle of vodka in one sitting? Are we moving towards a more private approach to wellness? Do you think Steven Tyler's feet smell sort-of bad or really bad? Discuss.

While you were sleeping

What's that in your Locke box? Well, that was pretty awesome. The Lost season finale did, indeed, not disappoint. Frozen donkey wheel! Boom! Time-travelling bunnies! Two excellent kisses! Hot, steaming death raining down on favourite characters! Jack's beard looking like he combed it with bacon. They're picking the show apart right now over at the Television Without Pity forum. And this is fun.

Please go away now People breathlessly reports that Sarah Larson did an "amazing job at staying true to herself and her family and friends," while dating George Clooney. Sorry, it's now half past we don't care about her anymore. Until she does a ghost-written book and spills all the secrets. Then we'll care again.

The clayby situation We're carefully monitoring the "Is Clay Aiken Really Going to be a Daddy?" story, but there appears to have been no development overnight. This is bad (no official confirmation that David Foster's sister Jaymes is carrying a clayby) and good (at least he hasn't impregnated anyone else). Stay tuned. More speculation.

R.I.P. Harvey Korman Emmy-winning actor and comedian, Harvey Korman, known from The Carol Burnett Show and Blazing Saddles, has died at 81. Obituary here.

You're so old that ...

... you can’t possibly expect us to believe you still think shooting that woman was a good idea. Remy Ma turns 28. Other birthdays include Colm Meaney (55), Ted McGinley (50), Wynonna Judd (44), Idina Menzel (37) and Cee-Lo (34).

But will it be a boy, a girl or a Clayby?

TMZ reports that Clay Aiken is going to be a father. Apparently, his record producer Jaymes Foster (a 50-year-old woman and David Foster's sister) has been inseminated with, you know, ewwww. This is officially the best story of the day. Perhaps the week. We want to know more and yet we don't think we can bear to.

Please, please let the Lost season finale be as great as the last one

Despite my promise to myself not to get super-excited over any show that doesn't rhyme with Mattlebar Pafactica, I must confess to being somewhat atingle just thinking about the two-hour Lost finale tonight (9pm on CTV). If you're not entirely up on what's been happening so far, scoot on over to Nikki Stafford's blog, Nik at Nite. She knows everything. She's written books about the show, you know, so listen up.
Also, Matthew Fox does an interview and attempts to be interesting by saying he knows how the show will end and no one else does and how the other cast members always try to make him tell. He also says his wife likes him to wear leather. And still, he's not interesting. Read more here.

Afternoon delights

MARK HUMPHREY/AP FILE PHOTO Shania Twain in happier (and pinker) times.

"Other woman" says she not "other woman" People reports that Marie-Anne Thiébaud has finally categorically denied she the reason for Shania and Mutton's recent split-up. She said "no." when asked. She also said that "you can't believe everything you read in the press." Just goes to show what she knows. I personally think that you can't believe everything that is said by former mistresses employees of millionaires accused of canoodling. People.

A movie based on the 'Ouija Board game is in development Sample dialogue: "You totally moved it." "Did not. Was it you?" "You're both crazy liars. One of you must have moved it." "Hey, ask it if that cute guy from my class likes me." "No, ask it about, like, where we go when we die." "No, ask it where my keys are." "You totally moved it." "Did not. Was it you?" More spookiness here.

There are worse things she could do Some British rag is reporting that the producers of Grease on Broadway wants Britney to take over the role of Sandy in July. I don't believe it for a moment. A tiny bit more here.

Having actually sat through Basic Instinct 2 I am reluctantly forced to agree The Chinese Xinhua News Agency says Sharon Stone, who made some stupid comment about karma vis-a-vis the Chinese earthquake vis-a-vis Tibet, is the “public enemy of all mankind." More hyperbole here.

Pete Wentz finally confirms Ashlee's pregnancy "This is truly the most joyous time in our lives" he says. Then he bangs his head into the wall 25 times just to savour the sweet relief of stopping. People.

Naomi Campbell charged, officer slightly nervous

Supermodel Naomi Campbell has been charged with three counts of assaulting a constable, two counts of using threatening, abusive words or behaviour to the cabin crew and one count of disorderly conduct in relation to a ruckus at Heathrow Airport last month. The officer watching as Campbell leaves Heathrow police station today is not taking any chances, assumes the defensive position and decides to back away slowly. STEPHEN HIRD/REUTERS