Just as long as David doesn't win
What was the highlight of last night's American Idol finale? Was it the over-worked boxing metaphor? I mean, if you were a producer of Idol and had a good look at the two boys going into the finale, would you say to yourself "now there's a couple of guys who could go three hard rounds in the ring?" No, you wouldn't, because you're not an idiot and you may actually have seen a round or two of boxing. You might send them on an Easter egg hunt or sit them down for a game of checkers.
However, I think the best part of the evening was when Paula told one of the two Davids that "you're standing in your truth." At least that's what I think she said. Maybe she told him he was standing in his booth. Nevermind. I don't remember which David it was, because I went into a momentary fugue state to try and really appreciate Paula's sentiment. But all I could come up with was that I hope the glob of truth didn't get stuck on his shoes. Truth can stain and it's a bitch getting it out of suede.
That aside, I maintain that the little David is the creepiest thing this side of The Omen boy and that kid was hard-core. On the other hand, the bigger David is a big fluffy ball of insincerity and "I'm just happy to be here" and putting his hands together and pretending to listen to Simon. So, no matter who wins it's going to suck.
I can't wait for tonight. There's going to be so much crying. And not just because Donna Summer and ZZ Top are rumoured to be performing. You can read all the fake things the Davids had to say about each other after last night's show right here.


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