Sing Katie, dance Katie, run Katie

I'm still bored with this boring bore of a boring day. But, here's what Katie Holmes looks like when she guest stars in an upcoming episode of Eli Stone. (new season premieres Oct. 14 on CTV). I don't think she's looked this good since Tommy got his claws in her. She should go with this look forever and ever. The Chicago suits her better than Stepford. CTV HANDOUT PHOTOS.

Afternoon delights

All the celebrities must be staying at home frantically trying to figure out if they're going bankrupt, because NOTHING is happening. Although, I'm happy to report that Janet Jackson's stay in a Montreal hospital only lasted two hours. More here. Maybe her sickness was linked to companion Jermaine Dupree's alleged barfing in her lap. That can't be good. I once, a long time ago, barfed in my own lap while in a taxi and was immediately thrown out of the car. On a deserted street. In the middle of the winter. At 3 a.m. in the morning. Far away from home. Alone. While that may seem harsh, I think it was just prudent behaviour on the part of the taxi driver.

See, I've been driven to talk about vomit. And I've had to drag out the old "disapproving Celine" photo. That's how boring this day is turning out to be. Here is another boring and probably completely false story. Showbizspy says that Kiefer Sutherland is afraid of mirrors. I'm sure it's just something somebody made up to promote that bad horror movie, Mirrors, but anyway, Kiefer "says," that, "Come over to my house. You won't find a mirror anywhere. I don't like mirrors. They are frightening."

Iron Man excitement

I'm going to have to leave early and go buy myself a a copy of Iron Man, which was just released today. I had kinda forgotten is was coming out, which is just crazy. Here is an extended scene of Robert Downey Jr. and Terrence Howard and some dancing flight attendants from the DVD.

Iron Man Extended Scene - Fun on the Plane

Starting tonight, 90210 will be dead to me

This is the last episode in which Shannen Doherty appears until the producers find some big bags of money and pay her to come back. Let me know when that happens.

Fairy godmothers ain't what they used to be

Paris Hilton's new scent, Fairy Dust, appears be a delicious blend of Xena footwear with a pinch of slutty Tinkerbell thrown in to balance the always tantalizing smell of acrylic hair extensions. Fly free, little Paris and grant us many good wishes. Sun.

If that's not enough Paris for you, you can click here and listen to Paris' theme song for her new show, My BFF. I have no idea if it's actually really her singing and I'm totally ashamed to admit I think that it's sorta kinda catchy.

Watch Lance Bass kiss a girl

Lance Bass and his partner, who needs to calm down and whose name escapes me, did a mess of a Paso Double last night on Dancing with the Stars. At the end, Lance shows how far he is willing to go for the sake of his art.

While you were sleeping

Janet Jackson in Montreal hospital According to People, she "got suddenly ill during the sound check" for last night's concert and is being monitored.

I'm starting a collection One-hit wonder James Blunt says that he'll stop singing if he's paid enough.I think that's a cause you and me and Bono and every other do-gooder in the world can get behind. More.

And maybe if we all gave to Kevin Costner, he'd stop this The actor and his band, Modern West, have an album coming out Nov. 11. It's just so not necessary, Kevin. There are enough crappy kinda-country bands out there. You just need to go make another movie where you play a former sports star of some sort, who drinks too much and pics up some smart, age-appropriate woman. That's your job. People.

This is better news. If it's true in any way News of the World says Eminem is working on an album to be called King Mathers, planned for a December release. I'm taking this news with a giant piece of salt. Like one of those salt licks for horses. Huge amount of salt. Enough for at least 12 barrels of salted cod.

Britney thinks her song "Womanizer" is a "girl anthem" She tells a radio station that, "It's basically saying, 'We know what you're up to.' It's about guys cheating on girls." Britney knows your pain. People.

You're so old that ...

... you can’t expect us to believe you aren’t pants-peeingly excited about starring the Battlestar prequel, Caprica. (Sorry, I may be projecting). Eric Stoltz turns 47. That’s Esai Morales in the picture with him. And, you know what? It’s Morales’ birthday tomorrow. Co-incidence? I think not. Other birthdays include author Elie Wiesel (80), actress Angie Dickinson (77), singer Cissy Houston (75), singer Johnny Mathis (73), actor Len Cariou (69), Dewey Martin of Buffalo Springfield (66), Sylvia Peterson of The Chiffons (62), actor John Finn (56), John Lombardo of 10,000 Maniacs (56), actor Barry Williams (54), actress Fran Drescher (51), country singer Marty Stuart (50), actress Crystal Bernard (47), Trey Anastasio of Phish (44), Robby Takac of The Goo Goo Dolls (44), actress Monica Bellucci (44), actor Tony Hale (38), actress Jenna Elfman (37), actor Ashley Hamilton (34), actress Lacey Chabert (26), actor Kieran Culkin (26) and rapper T-Pain (24). CAROL SEGAL/AP PHOTO

A great opportunity

HANDOUT PHOTO Hugh Dillon, in Flash Point, has absolutely nothing to do with my new career importing bullet-proof vests, but he looks really hot.

Every once in a while we all consider a career change and I was thrilled to find an email in my inbox this morning offering a wonderful opportunity, should I at some point decide to get into arms dealing. It's from someone who signs himself "Daniel (Mr.)" and he starts his email thusly:

"Dear Sir, I am pleasure to know you from Internet. Thanks for taking the time to read my email and wish you have a nice day ! We are a professional large-sized high technology enterprise from China , Which engaging in research, manufacture and exporting of security guard products including bulletproof car, bulletproof vest, bulletproof helmet, bulletproof shield and anti-riot products." See, I am already intrigued. Daniel (Mr.) then goes on to inform me that, "Our factory covers an area of one thousand square meters. It has about seven hunderd staff and workers, including more than 180 professionals staff engaging in the research of ballistic mechanics, arms and safety-products fields etc " I'm sold. One thousand square meters is very, very impressive. I'm going to reply to Daniel (Mr.) right now and I'm particularly confident that everything will work out great, because business people - like my new friend, Daniel (Mr.) - who use hotmail accounts are the most trustworthy.

Afternoon delights

Yes! According to TMZ, Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are back together and all is right with the world. Great news. And I'm trying very hard to come up with something positive. A letter writer in today's Star lamented the fact that most of what's in the paper is what would scientifically be classified as "bad news." I'm going to try harder for something shiny and good and happy.

Travis Barker is out of hospital More good news. Go me. Travis Barker left the Georgia hospital where he's spent nine days since a plane he was in crashed and left him with serious burns. Four people were killed in the crash. People.

That's all No more good news. Sorry. I looked really hard and there's nothing. Country singer Mindy McCready is going back to jail for breaking her probation and that's hardly good news. At least not for Mindy. People.

But wait a minute There is more good news. It's Sarah Palin in the swimsuit portion of the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant.