Afternoon delights

Britney's mother speaks I warned you that this was going to be a very boring day. Take this People story for example: Britney's mom, Lynne, is trying to sell her boresome book in England and was speaking to some British TV station. "... there's a lot of people that care about Britney and love Britney – and Britney's doing great now." Furthermore, "Oh she's a wonderful mother – she's funny, she's extremely affectionate." Yes, I know. Boring.

You know what, because that the only vaguely newsy thing I could find, I'm going to just steal a bunch of quotes from Us. It's a list of dreary celebrities sharing their Thanksgiving plans. They're totally lying, too.

PARIS HILTON: "I'm cooking dinner at my house and inviting my whole family over. It's going to be fun. I'm in charge this time!”

KEVIN JONAS:
"We are performing at the Dallas Cowboys halftime show." NICK JONAS "That's going to be a new and exciting thing for us to do! For Christmas, we'll just all be together as a family. It'll be great!"

STEPHEN BALDWIN: "Alec will be around. I don't know if the traditional 'Baldwin brother turkey' touch football game will be played. That was a big hope, but we'll have to see."

HEIDI KLUM: "I'm going to do a big turkey - an 18 pounder! I put the stuffing in it. I put the potatoes around it. I do sweet potatoes — with marshmallows, without marshmallows. I do everything!"

HAYDEN PANETTIERE: "I'll be spending it with my family in New York. I've never spent a Thanksgiving or Christmas away from them. There will be lots of food, football, sitting, chatting."

DUSTIN HOFFMAN: "All of the kids will come from all over, like New York and Minneapolis. We have six kids and the youngest is 21. Thanksgiving is a big thing for us. I actually do some of the cooking, too! I am right in there, boy! I peel the potatoes — that's cooking!"

PATRICK DEMPSEY: "Just to be with the family."

90210's ANNALYNNE MCCORD: "I am cooking! I'm actually going to be home this year for the first time in, like, four years. And I will be cooking for the entire family. I am so excited!"

Two of the Disney creatures taking part in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade

LOUIS LANZARO/AP PHOTO

JEFF CHRISTENSEN/AP PHOTO

Slow day leads to hair update

It's Thanksgiving in the States, so there will not be much going on in the way of news and gossip and anything really today. So, let's check in with the hair. The hair is, once again, on the cover of Entertainment Weekly and got to visit Leno. They talk about the hair and the hair's lack of hygiene and whether the hair gets wet when Pattinson showers.

Isn't he sick of that play yet?

Tom Cruise, who must have seen wife-droid Katie in All My Sons at least 57 times by now, dragged his bestest, bestest friend David Beckham to the theatre last night. BTW, you can read the Details interview with Tommy right here. It's really boring. I wouldn't recommend it. CHARLES SYKES/AP PHOTO

While you were sleeping

Slack-jawed horror So, there wasn't much on television last night and I though, what the bleep, let me watch Rosie O'Donnell's new variety show, Rosie Live. MISTAKE! From the oh-my-God-is-she-going-to-keel-over Liza Minnelli performance to the humiliating Conan O'Brien pie-in-the-face moment to Rachael Ray dancing with a giant rubber turkey, it was just about the worst television I have ever seen. (And I once watched an episode of According to Jim). I can't begin to imagine what possessed NBC to greenlight this throwback mess, but they made sure their stars - Alec Baldwin amongst them - appeared. The worst humiliation was saved for Jane Krakowski, who serenaded giant promo pictures of audience give-away items like Blackberrys and teeth-whitening products. Oh, wait, maybe Harry Connick Jr. handing out copies of his new CD was more humiliating. Or Alanis singing in front of a hokey birds-flying-at-sunset backdrop. It's a tough call and I still, after a night of sleep, feel strangely confused. Did I mention that Kathy Griffin was made to impersonate Nancy Grace? Probably a ploy from Rosie to make sure no one was funnier than her. It didn't work. The dancing cake in the big finale production number was funnier than her. (Yes, of course there was dancing cake. And dancing ice cream. And Rachael Ray with a rubber turkey. Oh, I mentioned that already? My brain will not let go of that. Odd.) The not-so-famous guests included tap-dancing twins and some low-rent circus act called Anti Gravity. When Clay Aiken appearing in his Spamalot costume to make a lame gay joke is the least toe-cringing moment, you're in serious trouble.

You're so old that ...

... you can’t expect us to believe that … You know what? I have nothing to say about any of these people. Instead let’s watch Bill Nye (who turns 53 today) explain why Pluto isn’t a planet. Planet-heart-breaker-man. Other birthdays include actor James Avery (60), TV personality Bill Nye (53), actor William Fichtner (52), Charlie Burchill of Simple Minds (49), Charlie Benante of Anthrax (46), Mike Bordin of Faith No More (46), actor Fisher Stevens (45), actress Robin Givens (44), actor Michael Vartan (40), Skoob of DAS EFX (38), rapper Twista (36) and actor Jaleel White (32).

Duplicity looks kinda fun; He's Just Not That Into You kinda doesn't

He' s Just Not That Into You trailer in HD

Gaius Baltar is a rockstar

This is one great fan vid. The editing is nothing short of fantastic. (Thank you Patrick for sending me the link.)

Afternoon delights

Good Horrible news The official Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog site has the following message posted: 'The DVD is days away from being released! Make it a perfect holiday gift. Buy one or two or three... New merchandise will also be available shortly." What "days away" means is not exactly specified, but I'm hoping it's more in the three days or seven days range than the 4,573 days range.

Yes, the dreaded Christmas decoration injuries Kate Moss and her boyfriend Jamie Hince both showed up to some party with scrapes and bruises and black eyes. According to The Daily Mail (where there's lots of pictures), Hince claimed that, "he was on a ladder and she was waiting at the bottom for him to pass down the boxes of decorations. But he lost his grip on one and heavy decorations landed on their heads." Tragic.

A-Rod ditches Madonna for his kids - not the other way around There has apparently been some mean-spirited suggestions that Madonna's love biscuit was going to spend Thankgiving with her rather than with his kids. Not true, People promises. "Although Rodriguez and his ex-wife Cynthia went through a nasty split, the baseball star has been in Florida for days and will be on hand for the holiday." I'm not, however, sure how the whole "has been in Florida for days" works when TMZ has pictures of Madonna and A-Rod arriving in Miami together yesterday.

Mariah Carey doesn't deny she may be with child Despite Ellen's prodding on the show today, Mariah would not admit she's pregnant. But she also did not say she's not. You just know Mariah and her young spouse would name the kid Mariah Is A Goddess Carey Jr., regardless of its sex. Us. OMG, I'm so bored of all these celebrity babies. But, alas there's more. How I Met Your Mother's Cobie Smulders is also expecting, as is Carson Daly's girlfriend.

Drama! OK! cooks a lot of soup on a tiny rumour that Warren Sapp assaulted Derek Hough during a Dancing with the Stars rehearsal. "According to TMZ.com, Warren had shown up several hours late to a rehearsal for the show’s group dance, and later complained he couldn’t follow the routine. When the professionals told Warren it was his fault because he showed up late, TMZ reported that the retired linebacker allegedly threw Derek against a wall!" Derek Hough says, “This has been blown way out of proportion. Warren and I exchanged a few words at rehearsal that lasted seconds. The idea that Warren would do physical harm to me or anyone is outrageous. We’re all become good friends during the season.” But the story goes on and on. And I read the whole thing. Mostly because it's just sunk in that it will be months before a new season starts and that makes me sad.

Just just awful. Terrible. So sad. Heart-wrenching

It's possibly just rumour and speculation, but Page Six reported yesterday that Ann Coulter broke her jaw and had to have it wired shut. To remind you what we may be missing while Ms Coulter is unable to speak, here's some choice quotes:

"Liberal soccer moms are precisely as likely to receive anthrax in the mail as to develop a capacity for linear thinking."

"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."

"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president. It's kind of a pipe dream, it's a personal fantasy of mine, but I don't think it's going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women."

"Taxes are like abortion, and not just because both are grotesque procedures supported by Democrats. You're for them or against them. Taxes go up or down; government raises taxes or lowers them. But Democrats will not let the words "abortion" or "tax hikes" pass their lips."

"Press passes can't be that hard to come by if the White House allows that old Arab Helen Thomas to sit within yards of the President."