Fantastic career opportunity

Once again I feel compelled to share with you a wonderful email that just came my way.

JOB for Canadians!! $2000/Week and more! That's great money. I'm in! What's the "more?" Car? House? Stock options?

Job Location - CANADA Perfect. I'm here already.

Employment Type - Employee/Part-Time I'm flexible. I can be an employee or I can be part-time or I can be a part-time employee. Just show me the way.

Hello. Our company would like to offer employment chance for you. Thank you. And hello to you. This chance can make your career fun and rewarding. Finally. I'm sick and tired of this boring and unrewarding job I have. We have various positions for Canadians. If you have all requirements you NEED to send your resume or profile or CV for qualification. I have many requirements, but I'm not sure I have all of them. I mean, let's be honest, who does? You will get our decision in 1-2 days. That's amazing. I usually wait at least five days for a decision. Hurry up, this job opportunity is limited. Alright, calm down already. I'm hurrying as fast as I can.

Requirements and skills: Higher Education/College. Ermm ... Sales/Management desired but optional. Phew. Strong communicative skills. Well, there's. And. But also and so okay. Must have MS Office installed. In my brain? Must have Canadian residency for Canadian work permit. All set. Must be 18 years or older. Don't be rude now. A lady never reveals her age.

Please send your cv/resume Once I worked in an ice cream factory and once I worked in an old folks home and once I picked apples and once I was a clumsy waitress and once I cleaned a library. I'm still not sure what this job is that I'm applying for, but I'm telling you right now: A) I will not wear any kind of hat and B) I don't speak Klingon. Just so we're clear.