Russell Crowe is a great poet
Russell Crowe won some award called Actor of our Lifetime at the Empire Film Awards. He wrote a bit of poetry for the occasion and The Guardian kindly posted it for our enjoyment.
I am celebrating my love for you with a pint of beer and a new tattoo.
Imagine there's no heaven.
I don't know if you're loving somebody. To be a poet and not know the trade, to be a lover and repel all women. Twin ironies by which great saints are made, the agonising pincer-jaws of heaven.
If you can walk with crowds and keep your virtue, walk with kings but not lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; yours is the earth and everything that's in it and what's more, you'll be a man.
It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your breath away.
But wait. There's more. Viggo Mortensen was awarded an icon award at the same event and I think it's safe to say that he may have sampled a few light beers before he went on stage to accept the award. You an click here to see video and read a transcript, but BE WARNED! There's language you may - depending on your upbringing, pedigree and morals - find offensive.
Russell is holding a spyglass. Maybe he's looking for "land ho."
Or perhaps, just a "ho."
Posted by: Leon Arp | March 31, 2009 at 04:14 PM
I have to say that I've never heard of the award he received...but I think it's safe to ask "whose lifetime?"
I love Russell Crowe, probably my favourite actor to be honest, the guy can play anything but I find the award to be a bit....weird. I'm hoping this isn't an early April Fool's Joke.
Posted by: Kevin | April 01, 2009 at 09:09 AM
Wait, wait...isn't this the same "poem" that Jennifer Aniston wrote for John Mayer a few months back? I still wake up screaming...
Posted by: Tracy | April 01, 2009 at 09:23 AM
He utterly, completely plagiarized Rudyard Kipling's "If". He should really assign credit where credit's due, the jerk.
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Posted by: Jennifer Venner | April 03, 2009 at 12:49 PM
You're right, Jennifer Venner. Russell has nothing to crow about!
Posted by: Leon Arp | April 03, 2009 at 01:29 PM