Have a great long weekend

... brought to you by this wonderful inspirational art from the obsessive weirdos geniuses at shiantology.com.

See you Tuesday.

Yet another product you don't want

I love you so much, Anderson Cooper

Twilight legal drama?

Here's the back story. I think everyone just needs to sit down and have a slice of delicious Edward cake. But, but now there is his from eonline's Marc Malkin:

Rachelle Lefevre and Summit Entertainment's fangs are retracting a little bit today—at least in public, that is. I'm told the actress formerly known as Twilight's Victoria isn't planning on releasing any more statements like the one she sent me yesterday. Same for Summit—the corporate lips are sealed. Why? Because now the bloody mess is apparently being hashed out by lawyers. What's on the table? Read on to find out… In short, Lefevre wants her money. Summit is arguing she's due nothing because the studio insists she's in breach of contract for signing on for the indie flick Barney's Version. "Rachelle's contract says she's allowed to do smaller projects like Barney's Version," one source said. Meanwhile, her Twilight and New Moon costars are "devastated," said another source. "As nice and lovely as Bryce [Dallas Howard] is, they feel like a family member has been taken from them."But don't expect them to go public with too much anti-Summit talk. As my gossiping cohorts over at The Awful Truth point out, Lefevre's dismissal sends a very strong message—or warning—not to mess with the studio.Sources also tell me that shortly after Summit announced Lefevre's dismissal, the rest of the cast was told not to elaborate on the circumstances to the media, beyond repeating that it was due to a scheduling conflict. "But that was before the Rachelle and Summit statements yesterday," a Twilight insider said. "Who knows what they'll ask them to say now."

All is well in Jessica Simpson land

Jessica Simpson tweets that, "Everything is as simple as it should be..." which I'm sure she'll know all about, then posts this adorable photo and says, "My godson Dylan giving me a hug after hitting me in the back with my louboutin leopard wedges. His "I'm sorry" LOVE"

Nice touch with the Louboutin name-dropping, but I'm worried for the child. That's demon-eyes right there on Jessica.

Appropriate funeral wear, according to Mickey Rourke

Mickey Rourke attended boxer Arturo Gatti's memorial mass yesterday. That was mighty nice of him.

DYLAN WILSON/AP PHOTO

New Zombieland trailer

I can't help but think that this is going to be my favourite movie of the year.

Ghost Busters circa 1954

Via Buzzfeed.

Gwyneth wants to take over the world

Yesterday's GOOP newsletter was a list of boring, pretentious books she wants you to read during the summer. Summer is almost over, so I didn't bother. But People actually got to talk to the lovely arbiter of style, food and colonics, and I thought I'd pass on her wisdom to you:

Move over, O magazine and Martha Stewart Living. GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow’s weekly newsletter packed with clean and green advice on loving, living and cooking is a “big success,” according to Paltrow. Just like my plan to take over the world with my army of Play-Doh soldier is a great success. According to me. “It’s crazy.  . . . crazy!” yes Paltrow chatted exclusively with People about the site at the Children of the City‘s Champions of Hope Benefit Gala at the Tribeca Rooftop last night in N.Y.C.  “I just love it. Corporate America is knocking at my door. . . . ‘Will you hawk my product’?” Gwyneth has a bit of a hearing problem. Actually what corporate America is saying, is "please keep your macro-biotic yoga hands away from our fine wares. The answer is clearly no for the star’s very personal project, which even derives its name from her initials G.P. “It started in such an organic way. I'm sorry, did you say or-gagging? People ask me, ‘What is it?  What are you doing?’ And I don’t know.  I did it, am doing it  . . . and I love doing it. It is really just a place to disseminate good information,” and said the Preen-clad Paltrow. “People are so grateful that it’s free. Yes, as opposed to all those other web sites, like the ones with credible medical information, where you have to pay. It’s just nice to share what you have. Will you share your money and your scullery maids? And I have all this great information. It’s just a gift. Is that what it is. I've always wondered what the correct term would be.  People want me to do all this other stuff. But right now, I just really love doing the site.  I love thinking about the letters, what I’m going to write about, what kind of information we can put in there.”  So will Paltrow follow in Paul Newman’s footsteps with his Newman’s Own empire, which raised $250 million dollars in his lifetime for charity? “We’ll do something and give it all back,” she tells People exclusively. Ooooh! Wait for it: Gwyneth's Own Enemas! You heard it here first. But for now, the site, which she creates along with two hands-on staffers, has only two cardinal rules. “No bribes. Stupid. Also, I won’t say anything negative. Chicken. If I eat somewhere or stay somewhere and it’s horrible, I won’t talk about it,” she said. While she has addressed everything from cleansing to frenemies on the site, she’s not about to take on rumors about her personal life on GOOP. “I never address that side of me there,” she insisted. “It is really a place to disseminate good information.” You really like that word, "disseminate," don't you? It was totally on your Word of the Day calender wasn't it?

If you want your dog to kill you in your sleep, get him a Snuggie

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