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It's also time to buy some new underwear. Let's look over here. Oh, this is a nice style. I'll take a dozen pairs. And then I'll go home and cry until the snot falls in to my bowl of chocolate crunch ice cream.
I apologize for that headline. It's awful. But not as awful as the clever disguises worn by Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller of Iowa when they allegedly attempted to perform burglary last week. I get that you probably don't have a lot of money for skimasks if you're an incompetent burglar, but how expensive is a pair of pantyhose?
While it may be bad to cheat on your wife, how could anyone be expected to keep away from the classy establishment known as Tattletales? Although the name should perhaps have been a hint? I think that if I were a celebrity looking to have some fun with a stripper named Delilah, I might forgo Tattletales and visit The No Talk Tavern or The Silent Peel. Just a thought. From Radaronline:
"Transformers star Josh Duhamel cheated on his stunning new wife Fergie –having a wild night of sex with a busty blonde stripper, according to a bombshell story in the new edition of The National Enquirer. According to The Enquirer, Duhamel, 36, met stripper Nicole Forrester in early October at an all-nude club in Atlanta called Tattletales Lounge, where she performs under the name “Delilah.” Duhamel denies the report emphatically. Duhamel was in Georgia filming the romantic comedy Life As We Know It, when he and a pal stopped by the club, according to the Enquirer's front-page story. Forrester says Josh first identified himself as “JD”, and said he was in town to make a porn movie. “I told him, ‘You are gorgeous’ and he said, ‘’You’re hot, too.’” That's scintillating conversation right there. Sophisticated exchanges like that are what makes stripping such a growth industry. Forrester says after drinking Grey Goose vodka together, Yes, that was exactly the detail I was hoping to get. What brand of Vodka they drank. Now I feel I know everything I need to know Duhamel had Nicole perform a nude dance for him and a male friend. She says before he left, they exchanged phone numbers, and on October 9th, he called her and invited her to his $820-a night room at the St. Regis hotel. Forester goes on to describe their encounter, which led to sex, she says. The Enquirer article says that Forester passed a rigorous polygraph and that she was paid for telling her story."
... brought to you by The Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken Doll. And, no, I'm not making that up. It sells for $81.99 and will be available in April.
Jon Gosselin is a whiny tantrum-thrower Jon Gosselin has more relationship drama on his hands. Hailey Glassman says her reality star boyfriend is emotionally abusive – and she's sick of it. "He'll call me and take his anger out on me," Glassman, 22, says in a two-part interview scheduled to air on The Insider beginning Thursday. "He has 'mantrums.' I shouldn't have to put up with being emotionally abused. I cry and say, 'Why are you so mean to me?' " But she may not get a straight answer. "Sometimes he has trouble with the truth," she says, "and he will dance and dance around his lies. He's like Jekyll and Hyde. But I still love him." Awwww, isn't that sweet? Makes you believe that anything is possible. People.
Corey Feldman is upset that his wife finally had enough From People: "Corey Feldman is hoping to avoid a messy split from his wife and is putting their son first, his rep said in a statement Wednesday. "Corey is deeply hurt and saddened by this unexpected change in their relationship, and has done nothing to contribute to the demise of the marriage," the statement reads. Susie Sprague filed for divorce on Oct. 22 after seven years of marriage and is seeking sole custody of their son, Zen, 5, with visitation rights for Feldman. She's also seeking spousal support."
Tony Scott goes to Chippendales From Variety: "Tony Scott has become attached to direct a film about the rise and fall of Steve Banerjee, the man responsible for creating Chippendales, who was consumed by excess and competition when the male strip clubs became a phenomenon in the 1980s.Scott and his Scott Free banner will produce with David Permut's Permut Presentations and Firoz Nadiadwala. With a tone similar to the Scott-directed "True Romance," pic will follow the improbable rise and fall of Banerjee, who went from pumping gas in Culver City to running a high-end nightclub that evolved into Chippendales. After hiring a New York choreographer to polish the all-male dance troupe, Excuse me? Banerjee became wildly rich, as well as unreasonably competitive and paranoid. Banerjee hired a hitman to murder the choreographer when negotiations went sour. After being arrested, Banerjee died in jail awaiting trial."
Hold the presses! Two attractive people like having sex with each other! What has the world come to? "Apparently, New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez is a homerun in the bedroom. That's what girlfriend Kate Hudson has been telling close pals, according to the new Us Weekly. "They love sex!" a pal tells Us Weekly of the pair who began dating in May. "They talk about it all day. Kate gets graphic talking about his body, even to her parents." She won't have to worry about him straying, pals tells Us: "She's with him every second," says a source. How so? "He's less of a jerk," jokes the pal. "He's also more free-spirited."
Sooooo ..... that Star Trek thing was pretty cool. What’s next? Winona Ryder turns 38 today. Other celebs birthdaying: Singer Lee Clayton is 67. Guitarist Denny Laine is 65. Singer-actress Melba Moore is 64. Guitarist Peter Green is 63. Actor Richard Dreyfuss is 62. Actress Kate Jackson is 61. Actor Dan Castellaneta is 52. Singer Randy Jackson is 48. Peter Timmins of Cowboy Junkies is 44. Actress Joely Fisher is 42. Rapper Paris is 42. S.A. Martinez of 311 is 40. Actor Trevor Lissauer is 36. Actress Gabrielle Union is 36. Actor Brendan Fehr is 32.
Malene’s interests and hobbies include Schadenfreude, sci-fi and fantasy (good and bad alike), hilarious hair pieces, age-inappropriate celebrity crushes, messed-up starlets, waiting for the next Star Trek movie, hating Björk, creative profanity, disobedient robots, fake celebrity relationships, post-apocalyptic dread, singing super-villains, baseball, David Beckham (but only when he keeps his mouth shut), vampires and knitting tiny sweaters for her seven cats. That’s not true. Maybe.
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