Pray for admittance to Mel Gibson's private church

If I believed in any kind of higher power, I would soooo want to do my worshipping with Mel Gibson in his very special church. Just knowing that he was sitting in the next pew figuring out how to screw his wife over in the divorce settlement would make me feel infused with all kinds of holy spirits. However, gaining entrance to The Holy Family Chapel is not as easy as just walking up, knocking on the door and claiming spiritual need:

"If you want to pray with Mel Gibson, you're going to have to answer to a higher power first. No, not The Man upstairs - Mel's security team! RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that Mel is changing the way things work at his Holy Family Chapel and making worshipers fill out a one-page application to get their names on his Invitation and Security list. According to the sign up sheet, the "application must be accepted by security in order to gain admittance" to the Agoura Hills church. The application notes that the church's services are "not open for negotiation by guests/attendees" and that entrance to the church can be revoked at any time for any reason. Holy control freak - what exactly is going on here? The newly required sign up sheet doesn't list a reason for the policy change, but Mel has previously expressed displeasure with things said in church making its way into the public domain. Some church attendees have taken a dim view of Mel divorcing his wife Robyn and now having a baby out of wedlock with Oksana Grigorieva." They're just jealous heretics, unworthy of God's special Mel-endorsed love. They clearly need to take themselves over to the Lutherans or Scientologists or Ms Arpe's Special Chapel of Leave All Your Money And Worries Here.

Comments

[Leon Arp]

Mel looks like he's having a stare-down with my favorite dog, Stains.

[Tracy]

Insert your own Henry VIII joke here.