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December 09, 2009

Tiger sex tape? Tiger love child? The Enquirer says maybe

Natenq Before you go, "they totally make bleep up" and they're full of cooties, just bear in mind that the Enquirer broke the Tiger story. And the John Edwards story. "A disgraced Tiger Woods is terrified that the worst news is yet to come - that he fathered love children with his mistresses! And his many liaisons may have been caught on tape! That's the bombshell charge that could wreck what's left of his once squeaky-clean image sink, his badly tattered marriage and destroy his multimillion-dollar endorsement empire. The golf great had wild unprotected sex with a string of mistresses, sources tell The ENQUIRER- and now he fears claims that his out-of-control sexual proclivities may have produced children. "That would be the final straw for his wife - AND Tiger knows it," said an insider. "But there is definitely more than one woman out there who could come forward to say she had his babies." To make matters even worse, the 33-year-old sports star is reportedly worried that a lurid sex tape could appear and wreck his desperate attempts to cling onto the wreckage of his marriage to beauty and ex-model Elin Nordegren who has just bought a $2 million mansion in her native Sweden as a fail-safe escape house in case the marriage disintegrates. Since the ENQUIRER exclusively revealed Tiger's affair with New York party girl Rachel Uchitel two weeks ago, a procession of women have been identified as his lovers. Among the places they claim to have had sex with the sports superstar are his Florida mansion and a series of hotels - all places that have security cameras.  At least one of the women also shot homemade videos of romps with other boyfriends. Tiger's frantic handlers are scrambling to bury any talk of sex tapes, minimize the damage and perform CPR on his image. But more and more women emerge almost daily claiming liaisons with the father of two. The ENQUIRER even received an incredible call that one woman who had an affair with Woods in June 2007 aborted his child."

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Look what happens when you have a fling with a flood of floozies. (You know, my Ryerson journalism degree does come in handy.)

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Stargazing blog by Malene Arpe


  • Malene’s interests and hobbies include Schadenfreude, sci-fi and fantasy (good and bad alike), hilarious hair pieces, age-inappropriate celebrity crushes, messed-up starlets, waiting for the next Star Trek movie, hating Björk, creative profanity, disobedient robots, fake celebrity relationships, post-apocalyptic dread, singing super-villains, baseball, David Beckham (but only when he keeps his mouth shut), vampires and knitting tiny sweaters for her seven cats. That’s not true. Maybe.

    Email: marpe@thestar.ca