Eurovision selections of the day

Because I'm very clever, I don't need to know the language to figure out that the song from Slovenia is about a clash between old-time folk music and really bad music from the 80s. While it may appear as if a compromise is reached between the two genres, I believe we're all winners just for knowing that this song exists somewhere in the world.

If I were the Macedonian singer I would be very worried about the Matrix lava flowing down the wall. That crap can mess you up. Fortunately, he has an amazing rapper to help him out, should Agent Smith all of a sudden materialize.

Yes, Oops indeed

Something peculiar happened to Taylor Swift's face on the way to the cover of a Russian magazine to make her look like the Wicked Witch of the Horrifying Land of Teen Stars. (Via Coverawards).

I'm sorry Steve Guttenberg, but this is not going to work for me

Via Videogum.

Report: Mezhgan Hussainy says she IS engaged to Simon Cowell

The story about Simon Cowell's pending marriage reared its delightful head last week (?) or the week before (?) and was vehemently denied by his rep. Now the woman in question has reportedly talked to Radaronline. Which is a bit of an odd choice. So let's all pop a nice, big chunk of sea salt while we read this:

"It’s official. Simon Cowell is getting married! Beautiful Mezhgan Hussainy told RadarOnline.com exclusively that she and Simon are officially engaged. Until now, there have been only whispers and rumours about the couple possibly getting married - but their plans have been a secret. But, gorgeous brunette Mezhgan told RadarOnline.com’s executive vice president David Perel that indeed, she and Simon are getting married. Sporting a beautiful sparkling engagement ring, Mezhgan was all smiles as she told RadarOnline.com exclusively that the couple, who are living together, are officially engaged. They met on American Idol several years ago and what began as friendship grew into love after Simon’s previous relationship ended. And the wedding date? Well, we promised we wouldn’t give everything away, but let’s just say don’t put off shopping for their wedding gift too long. After all, Simon is a man of action, as his stunning decision to leave American Idol and bring X-Factor to America proves. Mezhgan, 36, is an Afghanistan native and has been dating Simon for nearly a year, according to previous statement’s by Simon’s publicist Max Clifford."

If Tim Burton remade Weekend At Bernie's

The most offensive thing Jay Leno has ever done

... and that's including his "10 Questions" interview with Tom Cruise. Just in time for Leno's return to late night, here's a look at a racist, sexist movie called Collision Course made some time in the deep, dark 80s. There is some profanity, but mostly I must warn about possible crippling toe-cringing. (From Everything Is Terrible).

While you were sleeping

So sad "The body of Growing Pains star Andrew Koenig was found in a Vancouver park Thursday, the victim of a suicide. "My son took his own life," his father, Walter Koenig, said in an emotional news conference in the park. The actor's body was found about 11:30 a.m. in a heavily wooded area just off a bridle path in 1,000-acre Stanley Park, a favorite place for Koenig to frequent during his visits to Vancouver. The body was found by a private search team of his family and friends. His father was in the midst of searching when he received a cell phone call from other searchers who discovered the body. "I went to the site," Walter Koenig said, adding that's when he discovered his son had committed suicide. Police and his family declined to comment on how Koenig took his life. Koenig, 41, disappeared on Feb. 16 while traveling to the British Columbia city. Mounted officers had been searching the park, but didn't see the body amid the trees." People.  

Four gone from American Idol They are Janell Wheeler, Ashley Rodriguez, Joe Munoz and Tyler Grady. I have no idea if they were any good because the Olympics stole my television watching, but Deb Yeo has all the details on her blog.

I'd watch that From TVGuide: "How fun was it seeing Locke and Ben working side by side as high school teachers in Lost’s flash-sideways world. Well, imagine that as a spin-off series. Though the show’s executive producers, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, insist they are opposed to any continuation of the series past May’s finale, that hasn’t stopped one Lostie from penning his own spin-off of sorts. Terry O’Quinn, who plays Locke/Smoke Monster, tells me he is shopping around a bible for a TNT-type show that would pair him back up with his real-life chum and on-screen foe, Michael Emerson (Ben) - as suburban hit men juggling family issues. Though Terry asked me not to spill show specifics, he has spoken with Lost creator J.J. Abrams about the project and says, “I really hope this works out because Michael would be in his prime in this. We’d play kind of awkward partners.” “It’s very sweet of him,” says Michael. “I’m all in favor of it. Any reason to work with Terry again.”

Angelina doesn't want Wanted 2 From NY Mag: "Universal craved a sequel to Angelina Jolie’s assassination tango/loom tutorial Wanted. Unfortunately for the studio, Jolie is leaving them…wanting. We’ve just heard the actress has pulled out of the planned Timur Bekmambetov-directed sequel at Universal, and the studio has pulled the plug rather than recast the film. As for Jolie, we hear she is now intent on starring in Warner Bros.’ Gravity, a space thriller to be directed by Children of Men’s Alfonso Cuarón from a script he wrote with his 28-year-old son, Jonás."

Seth Green engaged "Seth Green is engaged to model/actress Clare Grant, People has confirmed. Green, 36, and Grant, 30, attended the Tarina Tarantino Sephora launch party in Hollywood Wednesday and were seen cuddling at the valet stand, but were tightlipped about details of their upcoming nuptials, according to e!news. A source tells People that despite reports, the couple did not get engaged on New Year's Eve.  Green is the executive producer and co-creator of Robot Chicken for which Grant also does voice-overs. The actor, who was an original cast member of Family Guy, will next appear in Disney's Mars Needs Moms. Grant, who attended the University of Memphis, appeared with Christina Ricci in Black Snake Moan and stars in the new MTV series $5 Cover."

Spoiler anyone? I bet you're super-excited over Robert Pattinson's new movie, Remember Me. Rumour is the trailer for Eclipse will be shown, so there's a reason to go right there. If you just want to see the Eclipse trailer and not bother with the actual Remember Me, but still want to know how it ends, you can click here to find out. NY Mag knows.

Most fantastic insults ever. Today

Next time some unwashed, uncouth idiot steps on my toes on the subway while I'm trying desperately to hang on to a strap and read my Harlequin novel, I want to have Nigel Farage with me to tell him off. Nigel is my new idol and mentor. Via Dlisted.

Your daily Depp

Here he is at the London premiere of Alice in Wonderland. Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Aerosmith hired an elderly woman as lead singer