I get emails

Most of them are long and full of words like, "bleeping stupid bleep," "why do you have a job?" and "you're an idiot. An ugly idiot," but sometimes they are short and to the point. Like this one:

"Hi

   Am Brian (last name withheld), i want to order Feed Scoop, i need to know the price on the types you have in stock, also want to know the type of Credit Cards  you accept as payment.Thank you

 Regards
Brian"

See? To the point. Here is my immediate reply:

"Hi Brian,

Am Malene. I had to google "feed scoop" and I believe it's what's pictured there to the right. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but at this point in time, I'm completely sold out. May I, however, take the opportunity to tell you about some of my other products? I just got in a nice box of Dunklesnorts, which I think you might find use for. I also have some leftover Prorkquads. But, frankly, they're not in very good condition. I do want to assure you that I take every single kind of credit card you can imagine. I don't have a credit card swipe or anything like that, so please just send me the account number and any kind of passwords you can think of and I'll take care of the rest. I promise to throw in a free five-gauge Ornk Builder.

Regards,

Malene"

Comments

[Leon Arp]

Malene, you're going to put eBay out of business.

[celestialspeedster]

Now what about those readers who sing your praises on their personal blog to the point of creepiness?