Hey guys! Do you like keeping track of the talented, multi-tasking hotness that is James Franco? Then you should check out What James Franco Did Today. You'll find such interesting updates as:
"James Franco spent the day in Cleveland after his plane was forced into an emergency landing. While in the big Cleve Franco was brought up to date on the recent fiasco surrounding LeBron James and his decision to leave the Cavaliers to play for the Miami Heat. Feeling sympathetic towards the plight of the lowly Cleveland sports fan, Franco announced that he will take his talents to Cleveland for the upcoming season as their new starting forward. It is unclear whether Franco has ever played basketball."
"James Franco was spotted this morning on the Louisiana coastline, playing a cassette tape of self-made bird calls for the seagulls in the area. When asked what inspired this newfound interest in bird-calling, the up-and-coming author claimed that his tape was a self-penned story from the point of view of a seagull named Beatrice who lost her husband as a result of the BP oil spill. Franco penned the tale because he felt it was crucial for the birds to hear the story in their own language so as to properly understand this tragic point in their history. The story takes a sudden turn in the final act, as it turns out Beatrice used the oil spill as a cover to murder her husband after she finds him pecking around with a younger chick."
"On Wednesday morning, James Franco rose bright and early to get to Washington Square Park. He studied the moves of Gill, infamous among chess circles, as Gill destroyed player after player for three straight hours before stepping up to the board to play. After an immediate and crushing defeat, Franco went directly to Borders where he bought six books on chess, chess strategy and chess theory. He spent his afternoon reading them, beginning to end, under a tree, while simultaneously whittling a bishop piece out of a nearby twig.
For some reason, though, there's no entry on the time that James Franco explained the Poincaré Conjecture in Spanish while fighting off an army of rabid penguins. I'm looking forward to having that oversight corrected. I would also like to see an extensive entry on James Franco's eerie ability to feel when an earthquake is coming. He's saved several cities and I think more people need to know.