Great post-Apocalyptic short film of the day

Warning: Profanity. You'd swear too if you were trying to survive in Sector 5. Also some gore. (Via Buzzfeed)

The Silent City 1080p HD from Ruairi Robinson on Vimeo.

Odlly mesmerizing footage of porny massage robot

I bet that got your attention. Good. I want you to, as ever, remain vigilant in the face of cutesy robot thingies with names like WheeMe designed to lull you into a false sense of security right up until the moment they stick a robo-tentacle into your ear and dismantle your cerebral cortex. Also: Who the bleep has time to lie outdoors under trees on yoga mats getting robo-massages in the middle of the day? No wonder the machines will have an easy time overpowering us.

Matt Lauer is five years old

Shrinking package! Tee-hee!

Unicorn thing of the day

I'm going to have to completely rewrite my letter to Santa. (Thank you very much, Karen). Because now I want the Avenging Unicorn Playset from McPhee. "Everyone wants an imaginary unicorn friend that they can call forth to smite their enemies. The Avenging Unicorn Play Set has everything you need to use the power of the unicorn to rid your life of irritations. Put the posable, 3-3/4'' tall, hard vinyl unicorn on a flat surface and then impale one of three 3-1/8'' tall, soft vinyl figures included. Also includes four interchangeable horns (classic spiral, chrome, glow and pearlescent)."

I also want the unicorn messenger bag. It has the Unicorn Code written on it. And I think we can all learn from the Unicorn Code:

1. Unicorns never cheat.
2. Unicorns always lend a helping hand.
3. Unicorns don’t talk to strangers.
4. Unicorns respect the Earth.
5. Unicorns are never late.
6. Unicorns aren’t conceited.
7. Unicorns don’t judge people.
8. Unicorns always give 100%.
9. Unicorns graze on peace and love.
10. Unicorns don’t do drugs.

My favourite rule is Rule 5. I hate people who are late. There's something seriously wrong with them. They use stupid rules like Rule 7 when they argue with you.

 

 

Black Swan featurette

Best photoshopped Entertainment Weekly cover ever. Today

Via therussross.

Look! It's 271 never-before-seen works by Picasso

Why can't I ever find something like that? Why does the universe hate me?

Tweet of the day

@Eugene Mirman RIP Leslie Neilsen. You're trending for a third day on Twitter, which is a website for micro-blogging, but that's not important right now.

PS: It's Nielsen, btw, everybody. Not Neilson and not Nilson and not Nielson and not Neilsen and not Nelson.

Warning: May contain baby

I don't have a dog, but if I did I bet he/she would salivate at the thought of these delicious dog Christmas cookies. Via Buzzfeed.

 

 

Muppets: Also great when minimalist

So, this guy named Eric Slager made this.