Crazy American Idol vote

Well, that was a weird American Idol episode. I usually don't watch the elimination shows, but I was feeling kinda sick-ish yesterday and I didn't have the energy to find something else to watch. Holy bleep - the idiots who vote had Casey Abrams as the loser while the gaggle of non-descript, boring girls all made it through. Then the judges used their once-per-season save to keep him. I genuinely thought he was going to vomit from excitement/dread/weirdness. That would have been something. Also, Stevie Wonder was wheeled out on a special Stevie Wonder transportation device to sing happy birthday to Steven Tyler and Marc Anthony ventured out in the daylight to hang out with the contestants who looked at him like, "who is this starving man and why does he keep looking at my throat like that?" Bonus appearance by Hulk Hogan.

EW has this: "Big surprise on last night's American Idol: ALL of the Top 11 will go on the summer tour, and two singers will be eliminated next week. The judges used their only save of the season on Casey Abrams, who sang “I Don’t Need No Doctor” FOR HIS LIFE for just a few seconds until Randy stopped him mid-tune with a breezy wave. "Stop the music!" he cried, for Casey's destiny had been predetermined. “This is crazy wrong,” said Steven Tyler. “We’ve made the decision here to keep you on.” Casey really did need a doctor, it turned out! (At least one on hand, waiting in the wings, maybe taking Marc Anthony's blood pressure or something.) Casey looked like he was about to faint dozens of times, with his shaky hands and crazy eyes. "Are you kidding?" he demanded of the three Fates behind the table. "It's Top 11 - why would you do this to me? I can't believe it!" He stumbled back up on stage, nearly taking down Seacrest in the process. Ryan was in no way prepared to handle Casey's bulk, but Casey barreled in for the score anyway - it just seemed like the most comforting place to go. "Agggggggggggh!" he cried. A few seconds later he wised up and ran over to crush his parents instead. "I love you so much," we kept hearing."

Here is video:

While you were sleeping

... brought to you by your strange maiden-aunts Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen. You know, the ones who live in an old mansion just outside of town and grow odd things in their garden and never attend family reunions and may or may not be keeping the bones of their former lovers in the basement.

Elizabeth Taylor is late for her own funeral People: "She was a Hollywood original to the end. Elizabeth Taylor was laid to rest Thursday at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, Calif., in a small, private funeral attended by friends and family that began 15 minutes after schedule – under instructions she left. "She even wanted to be late for her own funeral," a family rep said in a statement. Taylor's casket was closed and draped with gardenias, violets, and lily of the valley. She was interred in The Great Mausoleum, the same resting place for her longtime friend Michael Jackson. The one-hour, multi-denominational service officated by Rabbi Jerry Cutler included a reading by actor Colin Farrell, a friend of Taylor's, of Gerard Manley Hopkins’s poem "The Leaden Echo and the Golden Echo." Taylor's son Michael Wilding, her daughter Liza Burton Tivey and her grandson Tarquin Wilding also read selections, and her grandson Rhys Tivey performed a trumpet solo of "Amazing Grace."

More fun for Lindsay "Just when Lindsay Lohan thought her legal problems couldn't get any worse ... TMZ has learned cops are reigniting their investigation into allegations she attacked a Betty Ford staffer. Sources connected to the investigation tell us ... in the last two days, the Riverside County District Attorney's Office sent investigators to meet with key witnesses who were with Lindsay on December 12, 2010 - the night she allegedly got into a tussle with Dawn Holland. We're told cops told the witnesses they were conducting the investigation because the D.A. is still determining whether to pursue criminal assault charges against Lohan. Sources tell us ... investigators wanted to know if the witness could testify if it was Lindsay or Dawn who was the "aggressor" during that fateful night. They also wanted to know if the witness could describe any sort of injury Dawn may have suffered during the incident. We're told investigators also wanted to know if the witnesses would cooperate with authorities if the case went to trial ... but sources say the witnesses wouldn't give a definitive answer.' 

Fringe gets renewed Deadline: "Friday night is not a graveyard after all - Fox's struggling sci-fi drama Fringe has been renewed for a fourth season. What's more, it has received a full-season 22-episode order. Despite low ratings, which got lower after the show relocated from Thursday to Friday, Fox brass remained high on the series' creative direction and upbeat about its chances. Finge has been a big DVR player, so, with time-shifted viewing included, the series ranks as the top-rated series on Fridays. Still, in Live+same date, Fringe hit a series low, 1.3 rating in 18-49, just last week. Well, that doesn't matter anymore...."

Awwww ... Us: "It may not be over for David Arquette and Courteney Cox. The pair, who separated in October after 11 years of marriage, were flirty and affectionate with each other while promoting their upcoming horror flick Scream 4 at the Mondrian Hotel in West Hollywood Wednesday. Arquette, 39, and Cox, 46, who met on the set of the first Scream film in 1996, stole loving glances at each other and seemed quite comfortable with each other, according to an onlooker. Alongside their daughter Coco, 6, the duo put their arms around each other in the hallway and even held hands. Their rekindled spark was definitely on display during an interview with Entertainment Tonight - the pair were very playful with one another in between takes. Then, in a solo interview,  Arquette explained, "We're separated, we're working on ourselves and our relationship and sort of figuring out what we want. You know, life's complicated and people go through changes." During her one-on-one, Cox said promoting the movie with her estranged hubby was not a problem. "It was very easy, we really respect each other and we help each other. I mean, I respect his opinion so much that I'm always asking him, 'What do you think?' I think it's very easy to work with him."

Les Miserables to the big screen? Deadline: Looks like Universal Pictures has won the battle for the next film to be directed by Oscar-winning The King’s Speech helmer Tom Hooper. The dealmaking has started for Hooper to direct Les Miserables, a full-blown musical adaptation of the Cameron Mackintosh-produced perennial stage hit. This is the first film he's begun negotiations on since winning the Oscar, but insiders in Hooper's camp stopped short of saying it would definitively be his next film. I hear that's how it will work out ... The intention is to begin production before year’s end, somewhere in Europe.

Spawn "Rachel Zoe is bananas for her new baby boy! The celebrity stylist and husband Rodger Berman have welcomed their first child, a son named Skyler Morrison Berman, in Los Angeles, her rep tells People. He weighed in at 6 lbs., 12 oz. and is 20 inches long. "Mom and Dad 'LITERALLY' could not be happier or more in love with their son!" the couple said in a statement. Zoe, 39, later Tweeted, "Thank you all so much for your love! [Rodger] and I couldn't be happier with little Skyler Morrison in our arms ... he is everything."

AP Photo/Evan Agostini

The comma is your friend

It protects you from cannibalism and the slaughter of innocent animals.

From The Food Network via Buzzfeed.

UPDATE: I guess it was too good/bad to be true. Tails posted this:

"They say there is no such thing as bad publicity, and we do love a Tails cover gone viral. However, there are a few websites out there circulating a PHOTOSHOPPED cover from October 2010, featuring our friend and all-time animal lover, Rachael Ray. We want to assure all our readers, and new folks who may have stumbled upon the Photoshopped cover, that the image being circulated is in fact an unauthorized ALTERED cover."

If you like Alex Trebek and football, this is for you

Because audio from Jeopardy works amazingly well as football commentary. Via Urlesque.

Solar Meerkats - clearly the best thing ever. Ever

So, I'm sitting here reading my National Enquirer. If you're a regular reader of that fine publication, you'll know that there's often advertising for some fantastic merchandise. I've been tempted by the motorcycle-riding dragon figurines on many occasions. HOWEVER! Nothing has ever been greater than the Amazing Solar Meerkats from fourcorners.com.

Masterfully crafted garden sculptures with built-in solar lights so they light up automatically at night!  Price:  $29.99  Fun garden decoration by day – a glowing delight at night!
Product Details
•A fun decoration in your garden – both day and night!
•High quality solar panel charges the built-in lights by day and then illuminates them automatically at dusk!
•Mounted on poles with a built-in spring so they swing and sway in the breeze!
•Natural and realistic design – really cute!
•No installation needed – stake easily into the ground!
•Weatherproof for year-round performance!
•Environmentally friendly and energy efficient!
•No cables to lay!
•No cords!
•No electricity costs!
•No expensive battery operation!
•No complicated installation!

Quick! Someone wake Hugh Hefner from his nap!

And tell him that is fiancee is stepping out with an age-appropriate guy. Life & Style is all over this story:

"Hugh Hefner's fiancée, Crystal Harris, is doing more than just making music with her songwriting partner, Jordan McGraw. The Life & Style Scene Queens can exclusively reveal that Crystal - who got engaged to Hef in December - has been caught with another man...and it's Dr. Phil's son, Jordan! Much like his father, Dr. Phil's son is also not a doctor. We watched the 24-year-old lovebirds cozy up at the Chateau Marmont in LA on March 14. While Crystal was hoping to keep their romance low-key, Jordan didn't care to hide his affections, kissing her shoulder and trying to hold her hand - still adorned with her 6-carat engagement ring. Shut up. She so earned that. Despite Crystal's impending June 18 wedding date to the Playboy founder, sources tell us that she and Jordan are very happy together. "They've been sneaking around because Crystal is supposed to be happily engaged to Hef, and going out in public with Jordan would tarnish Hef and Crystal's relationship image," a source tells the Scene Queens. The pair met through the Organica record label, where until recently Jordan worked with Crystal as a songwriter. "Jordan was let go from Organica for dating female clients under the label," the source says. Michael Blakey, president of the Organica That sounds like some sort of pro-biotic yoghurt Music Group tells us, "Jordan McGraw no longer works for the label, and to the best of my knowledge, Crystal is very much in love with Hef." He adds, "Jordan and Organica departed ways amicably and are looking forward to collaborating on future projects. I can only imagine that Crystal and Jordan were together for song writing purposes." Says a rep for Playboy, "Jordan and Crystal have a business relationship." Crystal's wandering ways won't come as a surprise to Hef's ex Holly Madison, who told us just weeks ago, "Crystal may break Hef's heart."

REUTERS/Steve Marcus/Files

Hot girls in tight dresses

Carla Gugino, Jena Malone, Abbie Cornish, Emily Browning, Jamie Chung and Vanessa Hudgens pose at last night's Sucker Punch premiere.

REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni

Awww ... penguins

First up, the trailer for Mr. Popper's Penguins starring Jim Carrey:

Then a penguin on a plane:

And, finally, Ryan Gosling talking to a penguin keeper about a day in the life of a penguin:

Charley the Penguin from Ryan Gosling on Vimeo.

Possibly fake story: Jessica Biel moves past the grieving stage

It seems like just a week since Justin Timberlake put Jessica Biel on the path to being a ring-less, barren, aging spinster with no prospects of happiness. But look at her now:

"Justin who? Just five days after announcing her split with beau of four years Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel was spotted cozying up to her Playing the Field costar Gerard Butler. Currently filming the flick in Shreveport, Louisiana, Biel, 29, and the 300 hunk, 41, were first spotted out for a crew member's birthday at a Japanese restaurant on March 15. "When Gerry got there, he made a beeline for Jessica," an eyewitness tells Us. "He was really flirting with her." Or he could have A) Wanted to know if she had the number of some local strippers, B) Was planning to eat the rest of her California roll, or C) was interested in a really good deal on some bloat. Two nights later, the duo was seen throwing back margaritas at a Mexican restaurant. And that's not all, Biel and Butler shared two more dinners later that week! Still a source close to the actress says, "She only wants to be friends."

New Red Band trailer for Your Highness

WARNING: Naughty words and brief glimpse of nekkid boobs. So if you that's not your thing, just move along. Don't start crying or complaining.