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April 29, 2011

Charlie Sheen writes a letter to Chuck Lorre

Bird Charlie Sheen took time out from his busy schedule of bathing in imaginary tiger blood and being unhinged to write a letter to his former producer. TMZ has this:

"Charlie Sheen tells TMZ ..."Two and a Half Men" creator Chuck Lorre is a "sad silly fool," an "A-hole p-ssy loser" and a "low rent, nut-less sociopath" who is now realizing the show can't survive without him -- and Charlie claims the ratings prove his point. Sheen fired off a blistering letter, attacking Lorre in the wake of reports that Jon Cryer will get a bigger role on the show and Charlie will be replaced. Charlie says, "...No one cares about your feeble show without me," adding, "The ratings right now are not a fluke.  It's a big fat mess.  A 2.0 demo.  That sucks."  Although the number is low, the show is in reruns. But Charlie doesn't stop there, saying, "Not even a phone call to the man that put you on the map.  The man that put 500 million dollars in your pockets ... I busted my ass for 8 years to support your vision." And in the letter, which Charlie sent to TMZ as a messenger to Lorre, gets very personal"  "They are planning on voting you off the AA island.  Even those clowns have no room for you anymore." TMZ broke the story Thursday ... there's a 50/50 chance "Men" will not come back for Season 9."

Here is the letter in its entirety. I think Charlie deserves points for inventive invective and excellent spelling skills.


Good Luck Chuck

MY fans may tune in for a minute, but at the end of the day, no one cares about your feeble show without me. Shame on you. Not even a phone call to the man that put you on the map. The man that put 500 million dollars in your pockets. You were on your way out of Warner Bros. with a buy out and a cup of cold coffee in your shaky and clammy hands. And then I walked into your office. And you created a show BASED ON MY AWESOME LIFE. I busted my ass for 8 years to support your vision. Your dream. In turn, it is my nightmare. You sad silly fool. A-hole p---y loser. Put on the gloves you low rent, nut-less sociopath; I’ll beat your chicken s--t soul in a court room into a state of gratitude. A state of surrender. Something you left at the door every time you blundered into the pathetic AA loser lounge. Newsflash; they are planning on voting you off the AA island. Even those clowns have no room for you anymore. Wow, I’m sure your children are SO PROUD of you. You can teach’em how to be a stupid bitch. A narcissist. A coward. A loser. A spineless rat. I’m out here with my fans every night. The message is crystal clear; NO CHARLIE SHEEN. NO SHOW. And that’s exactly what it will be for you and your desperate vanity cards, every Monday night, a no-show. The ratings right now are not a fluke. It’s a big fat mess. A 2.0 demo? That sucks. Almost as bad as you. You’ve been warned. Reap the whirl-wind you cockroach, reap it.

— Charlie Sheen

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Stargazing blog by Malene Arpe


  • Malene’s interests and hobbies include Schadenfreude, sci-fi and fantasy (good and bad alike), hilarious hair pieces, age-inappropriate celebrity crushes, messed-up starlets, waiting for the next Star Trek movie, hating Björk, creative profanity, disobedient robots, fake celebrity relationships, post-apocalyptic dread, singing super-villains, baseball, David Beckham (but only when he keeps his mouth shut), vampires and knitting tiny sweaters for her seven cats. That’s not true. Maybe.

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