Ashton Kutcher's 'other woman' speaks

It looks like Us coughed up some coin. Sorry, other tabloids. You lose. Also, in the intererest of accuracy, I think I should point out that, contrary to what the cover line says, a one-time romp in a hotel room with someone you've never met before, can hardly be classified as an affair. If one were to be kind, one might call it a one-night stand. Just saying.

"Ashton Kutcher's other woman Sara Leal has a few things to get off her chest. In the new Us Weekly, the 22-year-old San Diego-based administrative assistant is that what it's called now? breaks her silence about the fateful early morning of Sept. 24 - Kutcher's six-year anniversary with wife Demi Moore - when she had sex with the actor, 33, following a wild, all-night party in his suite at San Diego's Hard Rock Hotel. That hotel has gotten a lot of free publicity out of this sordid mess. They should throw some money Ashton's way. "He just came up and kissed me," the Texas native tells Us of Kutcher's first bold move in the wee hours; minutes later, Leal, Kutcher and another young woman were completely nude and in a hot tub on the balcony. "I didn't think it was out of the ordinary," Leal admits. Of course not. Things like that happen all the time when you're an everyday, ordinary administrative assistant. "I wasn't self-conscious about getting naked." When Kutcher claimed that he was "separated" from wife Moore, 48, Leal tells Us she believed him. Because famous men in hot tubs having crazy parties with administrative assistants they just met in clubs always tell the truth. After retreating to Kutcher's bedroom past 6 a.m., "he lost his towel OMG! Where did it go? Did you find it? and I took my robe off," Leal says. "Then we had sex." "He was good," Leal reveals. "It wasn't weird or perverted." Well, that's a load off. I was worried there for a moment. It also wasn't 100 percent safe, either: Leal tells Us that Kutcher did not wear a condom during their one-on-one encounter. Congratulations, Demi. You may already be a winner of an exciting new condition. The post-coital talk was a little unexpected, she confesses; the duo talked astrology (they're both Aquarius wouldn't that be "Aquariuses?"), religion, love, even politics. "I told him I was a Lutheran from Texas. He said, 'Oh my gosh! Are you a Republican?'" Because that would be the worst part of cheating on your wife: If it turned out the party girl was a right wing supporter. How would you ever live that down? Leal says. Democratic-leaning Kutcher quizzed her on "up-and-coming candidates. I said Rick Perry. He asked if I'd vote for him. I said I didn't know and he laughed. He laughed at pretty much everything I said." What's not to laugh at during such a sophisticated battle of the wits? But it wasn't all twenty questions between the lovers, according to Leal. After having sex for a second time - and arguing over Leal's cell phone - the married Two and a Half Men star was tender. "He was like, 'I enjoy things like this because I'm an actor 90 per cent of the time and it's fake. It's nice to have moments that are real,'" Leal recalls. OMG! What a coincidence. Because I'm a reasonable person I felt nausea 90 per cent of the time while reading this."