Lindsay Lohan's mother is writing a tell-all book

That's nice. It's good to have something to do while your daughter is in court and/or jail and/or cleaning at the morgue and/or losing her teeth. You shouldn't sit around pondering where you might have gone wrong. Instead you should totally use your daughter's dwindling fame to make that last paycheck before she disappears off into obscurity. What I don't understand is why no publisher has snapped up this book. It's going to be a masterpiece. Bonus: This news assures us that Lindsay's dad will have something profound and insightful to say today. Unless, of course, he's swept up in The Rapture and doesn't have the time to call radaronline before he goes. TMZ has this:

"Lindsay Lohan's mom is trying to expose her own daughter's dark secrets, blowing the lid off of Lindsay's alleged drug and alcohol use in a memoir that she's shopping around town - shopping it as recently as 2 weeks ago - as Lindsay was looking down the barrel of a hostile judge and a jail sentence. TMZ has obtained the draft of a prologue for Dina Lohan's memoir, which Dina's rep is shopping to people in the literary world.  In the prologue, Dina writes: "I blamed her friends, her career and her handlers for an (sic) newfound lifestyle of partying excessively. Drinking, drugging and behaving irresponsibly became Lindsay's way of daily living - and it tore me up inside. Not as much as it tore me up that I couldn't afford those new shoes and that new handbag and those new hair extentions. My best earner just hadn't been producing lately. Where had everybody but I gone wrong? It kept me up at night." Dina explains why she moved Lindsay from New York to L.A. at such a young age: "How could I deny my daughter the chance of a lifetime? How could I hold Lindsay back from her dream of becoming an actress?  So, I listened to others and sent my daughter to Hollywood with a few pieces of luggage and a chaperone." This is very good, Dina. The constant passing of blame is elegantly and effortlessly woven into the narrative and the helplessness when faced by a petulant teenager is a moving bit of insight. Because, yes, how could a parent possibly stop a child from moving across the country? A conumdrum for the ages, if I ever heard of one. When Lindsay began acting crazy, accumulating mugshots and what not, Dina says she was helpless, claiming she couldn't demand that Lindsay return to New York. Dina also confesses she was conflicted since she was both Lindsay's parent and manager. On one hand: money. On the other: the health and sanity of your offspring. Not really much of a choice is it? We'd all go for the money, so don't feel bad. Dina and her rep were soliciting meetings via email two weeks ago, to brainstorm how to make her book "a best seller." Our sources say a ghost writer actually wrote the prologue after long sit-downs with Dina and her rep, and both were solidly on board. As far as we know ... so far, no takers."