Unreliable report: Katy Perry and Russell Brand's marriage in trouble

Least surprising tabloid story ever. It's kinda amazing they've made to to a year, really.

Us has this: "It was Christmastime fireworks for Katy Perry and Russell Brand this year - but not the good kind! After planning to whisk her family via private jet to husband Brand's London hometown for the holidays, Perry, 27, changed course, opting to fly to Hawaii with friends. "They had a massive fight," an insider tells Us Weekly. "She was like, 'F--k you. I'm going to do my own thing.' Russell replied, 'Fine, f--k you too.'" WHAT KIND OF WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN WHEN TWO SUCH ELOQUENT BEINGS CANNOT FIGURE IT OUT? WHAT HOPE DO THE REST OF US HAVE? Which explains why, come Dec. 25, the multi-platinum singer was snapped splashing in the Pacific Ocean off Kauai - sans wedding ring. NOT THAT IT MATTERS, BUT IF I OWNED ANY JEWELRY THAT HAD ANY VALUE WHATSOEVER, I WOULDN'T WEAR IT IN THE OCEAN EITHER. Meanwhile, British comic Brand, 36, was catching up with a pal in a pub in chilly Coverack, Cornwall. Though the pair denied divorce rumors in November, sources say trouble is brewing. "They haven't split up just yet, but things are not good," says the first source. "The fighting is getting worse." At issue? Among other things, explains another source: "Katy doesn't think Russell respects her parents' Christian beliefs or her friends."  PROBABLY NOT SOMETHING THAT SHOULD COME AS A SURPRISE TO EITHER OF THEM. BUT, PERHAPS, ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU'RE WILLING TO OVERLOOK DURING THE FIRST DELICIOUS MONTHS OF LUVVVV. JUST LIKE YOU'RE PRETENDING NOT TO HEAR THAT WEIRD NOISE HIS JAW MAKES WHEN HE CHEWS. FOR EXAMPLE So will the couple - who wed in October 2010 after a whirlwind courtship - make it through 2012? Says the first source, "The split may come soon, but they are both so dramatic and volatile, the relationship could become great again AKA THEY'LL HAVE SOME GREAT MAKE-UP SEX AND BE ABLE TO STAND EACH OTHER FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS MORE."

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