You can all relax. Lindsay Lohan's stolen handbag has been found
Not to blame the victim or anything, but who the frak brings all their travel documents and 10 grand - stuffed in a $5,000 bag - to a party? On a boat? How would that even occur to you? Were you thinking a tall, handsome, mysterious stranger might take you on a romantic trip to Paris with no time to pick up your passport? And that, once there, he'd leave you and laugh and laugh and laugh and you'd have to buy a ticket home again? I cannot imagine one single scenario in which you'd be carrying all that stuff to a party. On a boat. Surrounded by shifty-looking locals.
TMZ has this: "Lindsay Lohan's purse has made it back to its rightful owner safe and sound - passport and everything - but sources tell TMZ, the thief kept one massive jackpot ... $10,000 in cash. TMZ broke the story ... Lindsay's $5,000 Chanel purse was stolen last night from a Hawaii house party - and inside the bag ... her passport, important probation docs, and a boatload of cash. Sources tell us, Lindsay stayed long after police left - driving the entire party into a frenzy for hours looking for the purse - and up until this morning, she had come up empty. But that's when one of her friends eyed a suspicious-looking local, and asked if he knew where the bag was. We're told the local denied everything, but showed up with the bag minutes later ... claiming he found it on the street somewhere."
"Lindsay Lohan completely wigged after some jackass stole her purse in Hawaii this weekend - telling friends, she was terrified the ordeal would land her in jail ... and TMZ has obtained audio of her expletive-filled freak out ... moments after Lindsay discovered her bag was missing ... she says, "I will f**king kill someone if I even have to get questioned [inaudible] jail for a year." Lindsay was petrified she'd be stranded in Hawaii without her ID - forcing her to miss her court date in L.A. Wednesday morning ... a misstep that could have potentially gotten her probation revoked, and landed her butt behind bars. Lindsay can relax - TMZ broke the story - her passport and court documents permitting travel were eventually returned along with Lindsay's $5,000 Chanel purse. However, she's still short $10,000 cash. On tape Lindsay adds, "My dad will kill me" - interesting considering her on-again-off-again relationship with Michael Lohan ... and his own in-and-out-of-jail (currently, out) status."