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February 10, 2012

Kris Jenner wants to sell you sex potions

JennerYou know how it is. You're not really in the mood ... but then you take a couple of minutes to envision Kris and Bruce Jenner getting it on and you're ready to go. The smart marketing team behind something called Zestra clearly recognized the inherent aphrodisiac (aphrodisiacial?) qualities of Kris and hired her to promote their product.

Us has this: "After nearly 21 years of marriage, Kris Jenner still has the hots for her husband Bruce - but that doesn't mean they don't need a little assistance in the bedroom. The 56-year-old mother of Kourtney, 32, Kim, 31, and Khloe Kardashian, 27, is now the celebrity spokesperson for Zestra, a brand of arousal oils that vows to "help women get in the mood and ready for romance in minutes." "You can't always plan a romantic dinner or wait for a vacation to have amazing sex, so you have to take advantage of those moments of mutual intimacy," Jenner says in her testimonial. "For me, [Zestra provides] instant gratification. In a busy, complicated, hectic life, you can still fit in the time for sex EVEN WHEN YOU'RE SWAMPED COUNTING YOUR MONEY AND YOUR CHILDREN'S MONEY, and you know it's going to be enjoyable." The E! reality star believes Zestra can "add a little excitement" to any woman's love life. "Relationships have ebbs and flows and ups and downs that you just have to go with. You have to find simple ways to spice it up - to keep feeding the fire and keep monotony out of monogamy," Kris says. "All of us have those moments when we look at our partner and think to ourselves, 'Seriously? Not you again.' And, then other times, they are the cutest thing in the world. Try something new and keep an open mind."

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Stargazing blog by Malene Arpe


  • Malene’s interests and hobbies include Schadenfreude, sci-fi and fantasy (good and bad alike), hilarious hair pieces, age-inappropriate celebrity crushes, messed-up starlets, waiting for the next Star Trek movie, hating Björk, creative profanity, disobedient robots, fake celebrity relationships, post-apocalyptic dread, singing super-villains, baseball, David Beckham (but only when he keeps his mouth shut), vampires and knitting tiny sweaters for her seven cats. That’s not true. Maybe.

    Email: marpe@thestar.ca

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