Robots can now hunt you down even faster
Sometimes I worry that when they come to pick us up and send us to the battery farms, some of us may be able to escape. That would be tragic, because how will we survive in a world ruled by robots? What will we eat? Motor oil? No. Better to just give in and get hooked up and have it be over with. And now, thanks to the Cheetah Robot, which is made by Boston Dynamics and DARPA's Maximum Mobility and Manipulation Program aka Awesome Name for Villainous Faceless Entity in any number of post-apocalyptic movies, we will have no chance whatsoever. Because this hell-monster can run 18 miles an hour. It makes me sleep better. And as soon as each leg is outfitted with a compact heat-seeking missile all will be well indeed.
(Thank you, Ellen).