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March 07, 2012

Snooki's spawn gets a tabloid cover

USMAG10If you're excited about Snooki, babies, extreme air-brushing, paid interviews and unbelievably ugly necklaces, this week's cover of Us is for you. I'm interested in none of those things. I REALLY want to know about Rob's secret texts to Katy, though. Damn you, Rob. Why do want to make your vampire wife cry?

"Time to fist-pump for a little guido or guidette-to-be! After weeks of rumors, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi confirms exclusively in the new Us Weekly that she is 15 weeks pregnant - and engaged to the father, beau of one and a half years Jionni LaValle. And the Jersey Shore star and LaValle, both 24, know just what detractors are thinking, they tell Us. "I have different priorities now," reformed party girl Snooki says. "I don't care what anybody else thinks. As long as I know I'm ready and he's ready." Adds LaValle: "We are not going to screw this up." The once pouf-haired star and LaValle discovered the news "right after New Year's," she said. Snooki's first thought? "'S--t, I've been drinking!' I was worried. It was New Year's Eve and we were in Vegas, so I did go crazy." she admits."

Jessica-simpsonAnd while we're on the subject of womb contents, here is Jessica Simpson doing the nekkid thing on the cover of Elle. And, yes, she's having a girl. Please adjust your lives accordingly.

And then there's this:

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Stargazing blog by Malene Arpe


  • Malene’s interests and hobbies include Schadenfreude, sci-fi and fantasy (good and bad alike), hilarious hair pieces, age-inappropriate celebrity crushes, messed-up starlets, waiting for the next Star Trek movie, hating Björk, creative profanity, disobedient robots, fake celebrity relationships, post-apocalyptic dread, singing super-villains, baseball, David Beckham (but only when he keeps his mouth shut), vampires and knitting tiny sweaters for her seven cats. That’s not true. Maybe.

    Email: marpe@thestar.ca

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