Nothing like an intruder, who, after having spend a day and a night in your house, can't be bothered to say something nice. The New York Post has this:
"A twisted LET'S NOT BE JUDGEMENTAL Sean “Diddy” Combs fan sneaked into the rap mogul’s East Hampton home and partied like a rock star, gorging on fancy food and high-end liquor while parading through the palace in the hip-hop magnate’s finest clothes, cops said yesterday. Quamine Taylor, 30, of Jamaica, Queens, gave “bad 
boy” a whole new meaning when he found an unlocked basement door and made himself at home for nearly 24 hours in the sprawling mansion. Combs, whose hits include, “Coming Home” and “I’ll Be Missing You,” was away at the time. Cops said Taylor was so enamored of the music impresario’s lifestyle that even the crime was a remix: Taylor already pulled the same stunt — at the same place — more than 10 years ago. “I’ve actually been going to the house from time to time since 2001,” Taylor told The Post yesterday at the Suffolk County Jail. “I stay there a lot, but Sean gets funny sometimes about me staying there,” Taylor said. GOSH. PEOPLE ARE SO UPTIGHT WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR PERSONAL BELONGINGS AND HOUSES. THEY SHOULD JUST RELAX. In his first break-in, Taylor tried to pass himself off as Combs’ cousin when cops found him intoxicated after he took a dip in Combs’ pool. This time, Taylor spun a story that he was a close personal friend and even convinced a security detail of the lie when he accidentally tripped an alarm in the mansion. SOMEONE'S CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB. “He grew up listening to [Diddy’s] music,” Taylor’s worried mom said. “He has a long history of mental illness, and he has been off his meds for a while. YOU THINK? We have been trying to get him some help.” Taylor said he only went to the house for some much needed R&R. “I really didn’t go to Diddy’s house because I’m a big fan of his. BUT CELINE DION'S HOUSE WAS TOO FAR AWAY I just wanted to get out of the city for a while. I was actually hoping to stay like 15 to 17 days,” he said. Taylor’s bizarre, one-man bash began modestly enough on March 31 at the Jamaica LIRR station, where he purchased a ticket to the East Hampton station, cops said. Then Taylor directed a taxi driver to the Bad Boy Entertainment CEO’s sprawling Hedges Banks Drive digs. Taylor managed to get around the home’s security gate and eventually located an unlocked basement door, where he was able to enter. Taylor made himself at home as he canvassed the closets, but his 6-foot-5 frame couldn’t fit into Diddy’s shirts. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT DIDDY PURCHASE CLOTHES IN A RANGE OF SIZES? SO INCONSIDERATE. He then raided the refrigerator and dented the Ciroc spokesman’s liquor supply. The fantasy nearly folded when Taylor set off an alarm at 1 a.m. But the suave squatter managed to convince an arriving alarm-company representative and a police officer MORE THAN ONE PERSON IS CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB that he was a member of the Combs clan, and was allowed to remain in the home. “They really didn’t bother me once I told them who I was,” Taylor said yesterday. After a restful evening, Taylor’s dream finally came crashing down when a caretaker found him at 4 p.m. on April Fools’ Day and called the cops. “I got a good night’s sleep, but it’s not anything too special,” Taylor said of the accommodations. “It’s just like a three bedroom.” ANOTHER REASON TO GO TO CELINE'S. YOU KNOW HER HOUSE WILL HAVE 26 ROOMS, ALL DRAPED IN TIGER SKINS. AS WELL, SHE HAS DRESSES IN MANY SIZES SO THAT NO INTRUDER WILL EVER FEEL LARGE AND UNGAINLY. Taylor, who is unemployed MAYBE HE CAN GET A JOB AS A HAMPTON SECURITY GUARD OR POLICE OFFICER, was arraigned on trespassing and petit-larceny raps and was being held in lieu of $2,000 bail. A Diddy spokeswoman declined to comment."
Thank you, Louis.
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