While you were sleeping

... brought to you by Heidi Klum and her latest body paint adventure. It took 12 hours to complete and was in honour of the anniversary of some cosmetics brand named Astor that I've never heard of of.

Well, hi there Lindsay Lohan's dad. It's been a while "Rosie O'Donnell is in no position to bash Lindsay Lohan - at least according to Lindsay's loyal father, who claims Rosie's a washed-up failure at life ... who only stayed famous because she adopted a bunch of kids. Michael Lohan tells TMZ, "Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell to judge anyone, especially Lindsay, who has far more talent than Rosie ever had?" He says, "Lindsay's talent isn't limited to being a comedian or getting notoriety for adopting and raising a bunch of kids. Sure, [Lindsay] has her pitfalls, but she is 25, and how old is Rosie?" (50, in case you're wondering). Michael adds, "Two failed talk shows, a failed marriage, etc ... He/she who is without sin. May they cast the first stone." As we previously reported, Rosie went on "Today" this morning, claiming Lindsay hasn't made a single good film since she was sixteen ... and isn't capable of portraying Liz Taylor in her new movie."

Splitsville "Martin Lawrence and his wife are calling it quits. "Martin and Shamicka Lawrence have decided to divorce," a rep for the Big Momma's House star, 47, tells People. "The couple has made the joint decision to part ways." The couple had been together for 15 years before getting married in 2010 at their home in Beverly Hills. "Out of love and respect for one another we will continue to remain friends and raise our two beautiful daughters together," the couple said in a joint statement released to People by his rep."

Spawn "Welcome to the world, Pearl Osbourne! Jack Osbourne's fiancee, Lisa Stelly, welcomed the couple's first child - a daughter - his rep confirms to Us Weekly. Little Pearl weighed a healthy 8 lbs., 6 oz. at birth. The entire Osbourne family - including Jack's mom, Sharon, and sister, Kelly - have been anxiously awaiting Pearl's arrival, and tell Us Jack will be a terrific father. "He's very nervous - but nervous-excited," Sharon, 59, told Us Thursday. "He'll be a very good dad. I think he'll be very strict, but he'll be a very good dad."

Jack White is writing the Lone Ranger score Coming Soon: "Gore Verbinksi's The Lone Ranger will feature a score by Jack White, the studio announced. The musician, best known as one half of the former rock duo The White Stripes, is also a member of The Raconteurs and The Dead Weather. His first solo album, "Blunderbuss," was released yesterday. Opening May 31, 2013, The Lone Ranger WARNING: HYPERBOLE AHEAD is a thrilling adventure infused with action and humor, in which the famed masked hero is brought to life through new eyes. Native American spirit warrior Tonto (Johnny Depp) recounts the untold tales that transformed John Reid (Armie Hammer), a man of the law, into a legend of justice—taking the audience on a runaway train of epic surprises and humorous friction as the two unlikely heroes must learn to work together and fight against greed and corruption."