John Travolta sued for all kinds of unsavoury things

I nearly choked on my dinner when I read this last night. Is there not a single mega-star around who will remain untainted by nasty, groundless law suits? Fortunately not, it appears. TMZ has this:

John Travolta has been sued by a masseur, who claims the actor tried to have sex with him during a session. According to the lawsuit, Travolta saw the masseur's ad online ALWAYS THE BEST PLACE TO LOOK FOR DEDICATED PROFESSIONALS, and scheduled an appointment for $200 an hour A LITTLE STEEP, BUT OKAY. The masseur did not know it was Travolta when the appointment was booked, but followed instructions and met up with a black Lexus SUV, which Travolta was driving. GETTING INTO STRANGE CARS WITH PEOPLE YOU HAVEN'T MET BEFORE: ALSO THE HALLMARK OF A DEDICATED PROFESSIONAL. According to the suit, Travolta and the masseur, who says he saw Trojan condoms in the center console, drove to the Beverly Hills Hotel and went to Travolta's bungalow. The suit claims Travolta stripped naked, appearing semi-erect. GAH. The masseur says he told Travolta to lay down on the table and the first hour went without incident. BORING. Then, according to legal docs, Travolta began rubbing the masseur's leg, touched his scrotum and the shaft of his penis. GAH. TRAVOLTA HANDS! The masseur claims he told Travolta he did not have sex with his clients, but Travolta was undeterred, offering to do a "reverse massage," adding, "Come on dude, I'll jerk you off!!!" The suit goes on to allege Travolta then masturbated and told the masseur he got to where he was "due to sexual favors he had performed when he was in his 'Welcome Back Kotter' days," adding "Hollywood is controlled by homosexual Jewish men who expect favors in return for sexual activity." MEL GIBSON JUST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SEND JOHNNY A ONE-YEAR FREE MEMBERSHIP FOR HIS EXCLUSIVE SOCIETY OF OLD, BABBLING ANTI-SEMITES. The masseur - who is only listed as John Doe FUNNY STORY: THAT'S HIS REAL NAME - claims Travolta called him a loser, but then doubled the hourly rate and sent him on his way. The suit seeks $2 million plus punitive damages.

AND THEN THIS WAS ADDED: John Travolta says the lawsuit claiming he sexually assaulted a masseur is a total lie ... and that he was 2,475 miles from the place it supposedly happened. FUN FACT: JOHN TRAVOLTA'S ARMS ARE 2,475 MILES LONG. Travolta's rep tells TMZ ... John was on the East Coast the day the masseur claims John got on the massage table and, among other things, allegedly grabbed the guy's penis and then masturbated. The statement says, "This lawsuit is a complete fiction and fabrication.  None of the events claimed in the suit ever occurred." The statement notes, the masseur didn't disclose his name in the lawsuit -he sued as "John Doe." John is confident he will get the case thrown out and will sue the attorney and the masseur for malicious prosecution.