Whew. After that last post I think we all need a palate cleanser. Something to restore our faith in humanity and the season. Fortunately, everybody's favourite Christmas-tart, creepy child-bride Courtney Stodden is available. This particular photo is the only one of the bunch that's marginally non-blinding. And, yes, Santa is, of course, her horrible husband whose name I can't be bothered to look up. Via Buzzfeed.
Here is SNL's Christmas card, which may be the greatest Christmas card ever. (It's that thing where you wear boots made from stuffing while you cook a frozen turkey over a gin-powered bunsen burner and throw heart-shaped glitter at midgets wearing Santa hats. And, BTW, Toronto's hottest Christmas club is VIXZZEN. It has Santa's wife in rubber suit, dead frogs, floors covered in melted candy-cane ice cream, hourly fire alarms, Crazy Billy, Smurf burgers and bartenders with Baby Jesus implants.)
"May I use your bathroom? Up the stairs? Okay. To the left? Thanks ... WHAT THE HELL? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? IS THIS SOME SORT OF HOUSE OF HORRORS PRANK? Oh, and the fact that you have a panda waste-basket does not make it any better. Just so you know. I'll be leaving now. Through the window." Via Buzzfeed.
Whatever your Christmas cards look like (if you're still sending out cards) I promise you that they don't have an image as wonderful as the one chosen by Jorge Santini, who is the mayor of San Juan in Puerto Rico. He and his family may enjoy Christmas, but not as much as they enjoy violent taxidermy. Little known fact: The small girl to the left is also taxidermied.
Mmmmm ... gingerbread cookies. But not just ordinary, boring gingerbread cookies. Super-hero gingerbread cookies.
From Sugar Swings via The Mary Sue.
Malene’s interests and hobbies include Schadenfreude, sci-fi and fantasy (good and bad alike), hilarious hair pieces, age-inappropriate celebrity crushes, messed-up starlets, waiting for the next Star Trek movie, hating Björk, creative profanity, disobedient robots, fake celebrity relationships, post-apocalyptic dread, singing super-villains, baseball, David Beckham (but only when he keeps his mouth shut), vampires and knitting tiny sweaters for her seven cats. That’s not true. Maybe.
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