All you have to do is sit your significant other down and have the two of you take this quiz together and you'll know I'm right. There's nothing worse than a husband who doesn't read aloud from books and newspapers or a wife who doesn't dress for breakfast. Via Buzzfeed.
The Daily Mail has a troubling story about how the troubled Demi Moore is all kinds of delusional about how she's going to get back together with her ex. It's all very troubling. Allegedly. According to sources. It has been claimed.
"She was seen looking refreshed and rejuvenated after returning from rehab earlier this month. But new claims have suggested that Demi Moore is struggling following her discharge from the centre, and is attempting to win her ex Ashton Kutcher back. "YES," SAID OLD MRS. SMITH FROM DOWN THE STREET. "I CLAIMED THAT. I ALSO CLAIMED THAT MY DOG ONCE VISITED OUTER SPACE FOR MUSHROOM-GATHERING PURPOSES.' It was previously reported that Demi's split from Ashton after claims of his infidelity was the reason for her plummeting weight and the eventual hospitalisation which led to her going to rehab. And now friends of the 49-year-old actress are said to be concerned that Demi is following a similar path once more, after setting her sights on reuniting with her estranged husband. One friend WHOSE NAME IS MRS. SMITH AND WHO IS VERY GOOD AT DISGUISING HER VOICE SO THAT SHE MAY CLAIM MANY DIFFERENT THINGS TO THE SAME MAGAZINES told Grazia magazine: 'Demi definitely isn't over him yet. Her mood right now relies solely on Ashton and how responsive he is to her messages and phone calls. 'If he doesn't message her back for a couple of hours or seems distant in a text, she starts freaking out. While she won't admit it, she is still completely infatuated with him and it's clear she wants him back.' Demi is also said to have been thrown off after Ashton visited her in rehab. The friend WHOSE NAME IS DEFINITELY NOT MRS. SMITH AND WHO RESENTS THE IMPLICATION added: 'Demi is her own worst enemy, because she was doing great in rehab until Ashton came to visit her. 'He didn't actually make it down until a couple of weeks ago, after promising to go numerous times before that. As everyone expected, his visit really threw her off and she went from being relatively calm to very anxious and edgy.' Meanwhile, it has also been claimed BY MRS. SMITH'S NEPHEW, WHO'S AN AVID COLLECTOR OF SNAILS, LIES AND HOTDOGS that Demi is 'in denial' over Ashton's reported relationship with Lorene Scafaria, after the pair made their public debut heading to a game of laser tag in Los Angeles on March 3rd. A source WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE RENTING A ROOM FROM MRS. SMITH told heat magazine: 'Demi doesn't know much about Lorene, as she's been shielded from the media while in rehab. Demi and Ashton have been texting regularly. She seems to be in denial about the fact he is thinking of settling down with another woman and is looking forward to seeing him. 'Demi's friends are worried she doesn't seem to have acknowledged Ashton's new relationship.'"
Saturday Night Live was pretty dismal this weekend. Except for Stefon finally getting to kiss Seth Myers. Gifs from a delightful Tumblr, the name of which I'm not allowed to write out because of the no-swearing rule they have around here.
I know. It's heart-breaking to hear that Eva Mendes doesn't get Ryan Gosling all to selfish self anymore. It there's any truth to this story. Which there probably isn't. WARNING: It's from The Mirror, so it uses words like "sneaky chap" and "woolly hat."
"Given that Ryan Gosling is our favourite Hollywood man, it took us a while to accept the fact that he had gone and got himself a girlfriend in the form of Eva Mendes. But just as we were starting to embrace the fact that Eva and Ryan were in love - with the pair being inseparable over the last six months - they go and throw it in our face by reportedly having a break. We say 'they', but it sounds like Ryan is the one with issues, apparently telling friends he needed some space for "time to think". The relationship was moving super fast, with Eva, 38, even flying out to be with Ryan, 31, in Thailand while he was filming Only God Forgives in February. But one of his friends (who probably isn't really his friend) reportedly said yesterday: "Ryan and Eva are having trouble seeing eye to eye." And how has Ryan been making the most of his 'space'? He flew to South Africa on his own and dined with a German model, naturally. The sneaky chap was said to have been spotted at swanky beachside restaurant The Grand Cafe in Cape Town with a mystery blonde. An even sneakier chap claimed to have spotted them, telling anyone who'd listen: "He was having dinner with a blonde model who said she was from Berlin. "He tried to disguise himself with a woolly hat and scarf and seemed eager not to be noticed as they sat at a beach table, but he was clearly entranced by her." Eva's spokesperson has allegedly denied any rumours that the pair have hit a rough patch, but that seems odd to us considering that Ryan and Eva have never confirmed they are together."
They're totally like some sort of modern-day Romeo and Juliet, except, if I remember that story right, Romeo didn't slap Juliet around quit as much as Chris likes to do to Rihanna. Romeo also didn't tweet profanities and he didn't think that winning a Grammy meant everything was forgiven. I think. Maybe I have to go back and re-read the play. But it's still a sad, sad state of affairs when two people in some sort of crazy lust haze love have to put up with concerned friends and family.
TMZ has this: "Chris Brown and Rihanna are dangerously close to getting back together, sources close to the ex-couple tell TMZ - but the singers' friends are desperately trying to keep them apart .. for their own good. According to sources, Rihanna is still head over heels for Chris - despite that fateful night 3 years ago when he brutalized her - and if it weren't for the media and her fans, she would already have taken him back. YOU KNOW WHAT, RIHANNA? YOU CAN PAY PEOPLE TO HIT YOU. THE UPSIDE OF THAT ARRANGEMENT IS THAT THEY'LL STOP WHEN YOU TELL THEM TO STOP. We're told Chris also has extremely strong feelings for Rihanna - current girlfriend be damned. A SHINING PRINCE, THAT ONE. Now, sources tell us, Rihanna and Chris' friends are terrified they'll get back together - and they're doing everything they can to prevent a possible reunion. According to sources, friends on both sides have expressed extremely strong reservations to Ri and CB about spending so much time together ... warning it's a terrible idea ... personally AND professionally. But with Rihanna's birthday ... Chris and Rihanna's duets released this week ... friends fear they're fighting an uphill battle. As one source put it, "You can't hold back love." ANOTHER THING YOU CAN'T HOLD BACK: UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE THAT MAKES CERTAIN DOUCHEBAGS THINK IT'S REASONABLE TO PUNCH OTHER PEOPLE (PARTICULARLY WOMEN PEOPLE) IN THE FACE."
AP FILE PHOTO
See, this kind of thing makes me like her despite her perma-sour face. So confusing. David posted the photo on Facebook with this description: "So proud of my wife taking #NYFW by the balls."
Malene’s interests and hobbies include Schadenfreude, sci-fi and fantasy (good and bad alike), hilarious hair pieces, age-inappropriate celebrity crushes, messed-up starlets, waiting for the next Star Trek movie, hating Björk, creative profanity, disobedient robots, fake celebrity relationships, post-apocalyptic dread, singing super-villains, baseball, David Beckham (but only when he keeps his mouth shut), vampires and knitting tiny sweaters for her seven cats. That’s not true. Maybe.
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