Angelina Jolie attacked - again - by Chelsea Handler

I think it's admirable how Chelsea Handler keeps saying bad things about Angelina Jolie so that Chelsea's bestie, Jennifer Aniston, doesn't have to do it herself and soil her super-good-girl image. That's a great lieutenant right there.

Radaronline has this: "Chelsea Handler has once again lashed out at Angelina Jolie saying that the mother-of-six would not be a good friend to have. When asked in the latest issue of More magazine who would be the opposite of a girl’s girl, the late night chat show host was definite in her answer. “Probably Angelina Jolie,” Chelsea said. “She doesn’t strike me as someone I would have a close friendship with. You just know as a woman, when you see another woman, if that’s a woman you can trust.” RIGHT NOW ANGELINA IS CRYING LIKE AN ANGRY BABY. SHE WAS HOPING THAT HER EMPTY LIFE COULD SOMEHOW BE MADE BETTER IF ONLY CHELSEA WOULD BE HER FRIEND. ALAS, SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE DO WITH HER SIX CHILDREN, BRAD PITT, UNTOLD RICHES, HER NEW ENGAGEMENT RING AND HER RECENT PROMOTION TO SPECIAL ENVOY TO THE U.N. IT'S AN EMPTY, EMPTY EXISTENCE. Chelsea and Jennifer Aniston are now very close friends and she has refused to back down on calling Jolie a “home wrecker” for getting together with Brad Pitt while he was still married to Jen. The blonde funny girl also spoke about being “madly in love” with hotel magnate André Balazs. NO ONE CARES ABOUT THAT. SAYS SOME OTHER MEAN THING. They split up last year but rekindled their romance in February. “My boyfriend, André… We just got back together literally yesterday,” she revealed. “We had dated for nine months, a long-distance relationship with all the stresses and traveling and running around. It wasn’t a real life; we weren’t living together. “So, André came to me yesterday and said, ‘I think we have to try to make this work again.’ And I agreed because we’re still madly in love."

And, apropos of nothing, what have we here? Why, it's Angelina Jolie spending her weekend in Equador meeting with Columbian refugees. Let's hope none of them tried to make friends with her. She has a knife in her rubber boots, just in case. (REUTERS/UNHCR/JTanner/Handout)

Mel Gibson may sue Joe Eszterhas. Allegedly

If you missed the dulcet tones of Mel unleashing a fresh stream of mouth dirt, you should scroll down and listen. And then you should know that, according to TMZ, Mel now wants to sue Joe Eszterhas for taping his rant:

"Mel Gibson is seriously considering suing Joe Eszterhas for secretly recording him at his home in Costa Rica last December, and then releasing the audio rant. Sources connected with Mel tell TMZ ... the actor believes he has a "basic human right" NOT to be secretly recorded in his own home. We're told Mel's people are looking at the laws of Costa Rica to determine if recording laws were violated and, even if they weren't, if Mel's right of privacy was violated by the release of the audio. Mel explodes in the recording about Eszterhas' lack of progress with "The Maccabees" script  - "What the bleep have you been doing!!"  He also unloads on Oksana Grigorieva ... We're told Mel believes anyone recorded "at their worst moment" would sound awful, and it's unfair to trap people in their refuge. One Mel source notes with skepticism that Eszterhas has made other allegations against Mel ... that the actor also ranted against the Jews and expressed pleasure that John Lennon was shot and killed .... but none of that is on the tape."

Mel Gibson's newest incoherent rant

Here is the long-awaited audio of Mel Gibson doing what he does best: yell incoherently. This was recorded by Joe Eszterhas' son while the two were visiting Mel in Costa Rica. (Sorry for your burden, Costa Rica). According to Eszterhas, via The Wrap, "The bottom line is it shows to me he badly needs help,” Eszterhas told TheWrap. “My interest isn’t to damage him with this tape but to prevent damage being done to others, starting with Jews, including Oksana and now, I’m sure, me. I strongly believe that unless he seeks and receives some kind of psychiatric help, someone is going to get hurt."

Eszterhas and Gibson had been working together on getting a movie about the Macabees off the ground. According to The Wrap, after the two had a falling-out, Eszterhas wrote a letter to Gibson, "accusing the movie star of making continual anti-Semitic remarks, threatening violence to Grigorieva and detailing out-of-control behavior, including the rampage he described in detail. The movie star responded in a letter that much of Eszterhas’ allegations were “utter fabrications.” According to Eszterhas' letter, Gibson's rant began unexpectedly, as the guests had gathered for before-dinner drinks, and Gibson happened to look at a photo of himself holding his baby daughter Luci in which he was gray and balding:
The letter reads: "You were staring at the photograph of you and Luci, your beautiful little girl  ... and you suddenly exploded. You hurled your cellphone into a wall and started to scream, 'I look so bleeping old! I look horrible! That bleeping bleep is destroying me!  She’s taking my looks! I hate her! She’s destroying my life!' You jumped up, screaming full-throated: 'Look at me!! Bleeping look at me! Look how terrible I look! Answer me, God! Why did you turn your back on me!? Bleep you! Bleep you!' You stepped a few feet away and screamed into the sky, 'I’m not gonna take it up bleep anymore and say, ‘Thank you, your honor!’”
According to the letter, Gibson ran around the side of the house to a downstairs, open-air billiard room - all of which can be heard on the recording.

WARNING: Full of barely audible foul language, such as, "who the bleep wants to eat? Bleeep. Bleeep." If you hate swearing and have exceptionable hearing, you should avoid this.

Owl doesn't care

Via Neatorama.

Gibson vs. Eszterhas: Today Show interview with Eszterhas

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Gibson vs. Eszterhas: there may be proof of Gibson's vile rants

You'd think Gibson had learned his lesson, but it may be that he's once again gotten himself recorded while in the throes of not being able to stop his mouth from saying completely horrendous things. At least according to chief-feuder Joe Eszterhas. TMZ has this:

"Joe Eszterhas tells TMZ ... he has hard proof that he witnessed the hate-filled rants he - or someone - just disclosed to the world, because his teenage son secretly recorded much of it. Joe tells us, "A lot of the stuff is on tape." He says the recordings were made in Costa Rica - by his son Nick. Joe would not say if the alleged comment about John Lennon - "I'm glad he's dead. He deserved to be shot," or the comment about Oksana Grigorieva, "I want to bleep ... and stab her while I'm doing it," or the comment about William Morris/Endeavor Chairman Ari Emanuel, "He's a bleep Jewboy," were all on tape. In his letter to Mel, Joe wrote that his son recorded some of Mel's outbursts on his iPhone, but the letter did not disclose how much - now Joe says, "a lot." Joe also says people who allegedly witnessed Mel's rants are willing to come forward. As for "The Maccabees" script that Warner Bros. rejected, Joe said, "I'm heartbroken. I put my heart and soul into a script for someone who hates Jews." Joe said, "He needs help. Badly."

But wait. It can't be true because Mel loves The Beatles: 'Mel Gibson is telling friends ... he NEVER said John Lennon deserved to die - in fact, he's a huge Beatles fan and he plays their music all the time. Sources tell TMZ, screenwriter Joe Eszterhas' allegations the actor celebrated John Lennon's death are just false. As one source put it, "It's not uncommon to hear The Beatles at Gibson's house." The source adds, Gibson was even playing "Imagine" at a recent function - the same song Eszterhas says Mel bashed recently, claiming, "Imagine. I hate that f**king song. I'm glad [Lennon's] dead." Mel is claiming ... he isn't surprised by Eszterhas' false claims in his 9-page diatribe - because the entire letter reads like a "bad script." We're told Mel is also convinced ... another major rift between him and Eszterhas had nothing to do with him - or "The Maccabees" - it had to do with Mel's other viking-themed film project, which Mel's been developing for years. We're told Eszterhas was frustrated with Mel ... because Mel had been putting more time into the viking movie than he did into "Maccabees."

Mel Gibson in nasty fight with Joe Eszterhas

I hate it when someone is fighting with Joe Eszterhas because it means that I have to spell Eszterhas and that's kinda difficult. What's also difficult, is figuring out who is right and who is wrong in this particular case. Fortunately that doesn't really matter, because they both seem like complete bleeping bleepers.

TMZ had this yesterday:

"Mel Gibson is sabotaging efforts to make a movie about Jewish biblical hero Judah Maccabee because he "hates Jews" ... this according to the film's screenwriter Joe Eszterhas. Gibson and Eszterhas had been working on the project together ... until Warner Bros. suddenly decided to pull the plug ... and nobody seemed to know why. But now, it's crystal clear - there was a MAJOR rift between Gibson and Eszterhas ... with Eszterhas firing off a harsh letter to Mel earlier this week ... in which he says point blank, "I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason you won’t make ‘The Maccabees’ is the ugliest possible one. You hate Jews.” The letter, obtained by TheWrap.com, reads, "You continually called Jews 'Hebes.' It seemed that most times when we discussed someone, you asked 'He’s a Hebe, isn’t he?' You said most 'gatekeepers' of American companies were 'Hebes' who 'controlled their bosses.'" Eszterhas adds, “You said the Holocaust was 'mostly a lot of horses**t.' You said the Torah made reference to the sacrifice of Christian babies and infants. When I told you that you were confusing the Torah with The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, ... you insisted 'it's in the Torah - it's in there!' (It isn't). "He says Mel only wanted to make “The Maccabees” so he could “convert the Jews to Christianity.” In his letter, Eszterhas says he witnessed Mel rail about his ex-GF and baby mama Oksana Grigorieva ... saying, "You were raving at Oksana even after you’d reached a custody agreement over Luci." “And then you were even more explicit about your threat: “I’m going to kill her!  I’m going to have her killed!”  You said you’d become friends with two FBI agents (or former FBI agents) and they were going to help you to kill her.”

Lovely. Then Gibson responded with this letter. Via Deadline:

Joe,
I have your letter. I am not going to respond to it line by line, but I will say that the great majority of the facts as well as the statements and actions attributed to me in your letter are utter fabrications. I would have thought that a man of principle, as you purport to be, would have withdrawn from the project regardless of the money if you truly believed me to be the person you describe in your letter. I guess you only had a problem with me after Warner Brothers rejected your script.
I will acknowledge like most creative people I am passionate and intense. I was very frustrated that when you arrived at my home at the expense of both Warner Brothers and myself you hadn’t written a single word of a script or even an outline after 15 months of research, meetings, discussions and the outpouring of my heartfelt vision for this story. I did react more strongly than I should have. I promptly sent you a written apology, the colorful words of which you apparently now find offensive. Let me now clearly apologize to you and your family in the simplest of terms.
Contrary to your assertion that I was only developing Maccabees to burnish my tarnished reputation, I have been working on this project for over 10 years and it was publicly announced 8 years ago. I absolutely want to make this movie; it’s just that neither Warner Brothers nor I want to make this movie based on your script.
Honestly, Joe, not only was the script delivered later than you promised, both Warner Brothers and I were extraordinarily disappointed with the draft. In 25 years of script development I have never seen a more substandard first draft or a more significant waste of time. The decision not to proceed with you was based on the quality of your script, not on any other factor.
I think that we can agree that this should be our last communication. Mel

AP AND REUTERS FILE PHOTOS

Gwyneth vs. Kate Moss: best fake story ever

Well, maybe it's true. I have no way of knowing, seeing as I wasn't at Sir Philip Green's birthday party. (I went last year and accidentally used the salad for to scratch my ass. Which properly explains why I didn't get an invite this year). But it doesn't matter if it's true. It's awesome if it's fake. It's awesome if this indeed did happen. Win-win.

The UK Sun has this: "Kate Moss lives her life like she's still at school – ruling her gang of mates with a fag in her hand. But every now and then someone steps up and challenges her super-cool authority, like good old Gwyneth Paltrow. The Hollywood actress put Kate in her place in spectacular fashion at Sir Philip Green's 60th birthday party in Mexico during a bit of verbal sparring on the beach. And the put-down was straight out of a comedian's top drawer. A source said: "Gwyneth had gone for a jog on the beach before the big birthday bash. Kate was out for a walk, eating crisps, when Gwyneth ran past. "Kate said, 'Oi, what you out jogging for?' Gwyneth fired back, 'So I don't look like you when I get old'. Kate was speechless for a second then spat back and threw some crisps at her. She said, 'Why don't you eat some f****** carbs!' "The spat was the talk of the dinner. Everyone was having a giggle about it."

I think Captain Picard is the only one who can properly express what we're all feeling right now.

(Sorry, but I don't know where the gif is from).

UPDATE: Yes, it's indeed fake. Or is it? Anyone can say that anything is fake. The Daily Mail has this: "Gwyneth's spokesperson told the Mail Online: 'There was no such fight. This is a fabrication.'

Oprah vs Rosie

This just gets better and better. I see a cage match somewhere in the future. That will get the ratings they aren't getting from anything else.

Radaronline has this: "Rosie O'Donnell wanted her now canceled talk show on Oprah Winfrey's embattled OWN network to be based in New York City, but Winfrey insisted that the first season be shot at her former studio in Chicago, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting. As we previously reported, Winfrey decided last week to pull the plug on O'Donnell's short-lived talk show because of abysmal ratings. The former co-host of The View lobbied Winfrey to relocate to the Big Apple, believing it would fare better in her home town, but the talk show titan refused point blank. ALSO: CHICAGO IS ICKY. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. NO ART, NO FOOD, NO SHOPPING. A WASTELAND, REALLY. "Rosie pushed for the show to be in New York City," an insider tells RadarOnline.com. "Rosie lives in New York, her family is there, it's where she has had success with her solo talk show. Oprah insisted that the first season be shot in Chicago though because that's where she lives, and it was more cost efficient because Rosie just moved into Oprah's old studio. Oprah had promised to revisit the issue if the show got picked up for a second season." Even though Rosie bought a house in Chicago, which she has since moved out of and sold, she never felt at home there and was confident the Windy City location wouldn't be conducive to scoring big time celebrity guests. YES, THAT WAS ALWAYS A PROBLEM FOR OPRAH. NO ONE FAMOUS WAS EVER ON HER SHOW. "Rosie was never happy in Chicago, period," the source says. "The only celebrity that lives in Chicago is Oprah, and it was baffling to Rosie that she wouldn't let her have her show in New York City. What celebrity wants to go to Chicago, which isn't a media metropolis like Los Angeles or New York City?" As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Oprah and Rosie also feuded over the language of the press release that announced the cancellation of the show. "At one point during discussions, the OWN PR team got a phone call from Rosie's camp, explaining what needed to be included into the press release," the insider claimed. "This is Oprah's network though and she has the final say. Oprah told her staff to have Rosie call her directly to address her concerns, but she never did. SHE WAS BUSY MAKING PLANS FOR HER NEW SHOW, TENTATIVELY TITLED, "PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE EVEN IF YOU COULDN'T GIVE A RAT'S BEHIND ABOUT THE LAST ONE." Rosie was having her people do all the dirty work for her." In a statement announcing the cancellation of Rosie's show, Winfrey said: "I thank Rosie from the bottom of my heart for joining me on this journey. THIS JOURNEY TO ANNOYING-LAND. MY FAVOURITE PLACE IN THE WORLD. She has been an incredible partner, working to deliver the best possible show every single day. As I have learned in the last 15 months, a new network launch is always a challenge and ratings grow over time as you continue to gather an audience. WHY WON'T YOU WATCH MY NEW NETWORK? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME? I'm grateful to Rosie and the dedicated Rosie Show team for giving it their all."

AP Photo/Harpo, Inc., George Burns/file

Hunger Games: Jennifer Lawrence says no feud between her and Kristen Stewart

Such a spoilsporting liar. Of course there's a feud. Who is she trying to fool? It's a well-known fact that whenever two women are mentioned in the same sentence there must be a feud. You can't explain your way out of this one, girly. And check out the new picture of Kristen Stewart from Breaking Dawn: Part 2. See what I did there? I used a picture of Kristen Stewart for a story on Jennifer Lawrence. Would I have done that if there wasn't a feud? Hmmm?

 Access Hollywood has this: “The Hunger Games” is about to dethrone “The Twilight Saga” as Hollywood’s hottest franchise – but are the films’ females leads embroiled in a bitter feud YES, THEY ARE, as it’s been reported? Access Hollywood’s Shaun Robinson I'M TOTALLY IN A FEUD WITH HIM recently sat down with “Hunger Games” star Jennifer Lawrence, who cleared up reports of a spat between herself and Kristen Stewart WHATEVER. “I wrote her an e-mail, because there was this huge like, article about a ‘Twilight’ and ‘Hunger Games’ feud, and we’ve never met before and never spoken,” Jennifer explained. AN EMAIL? SUCH A SIGN OF A FEUD. “There were all these like, fake quotes from me that were actually hilarious. Some of them were from my ‘pal’ and ‘sources.’ It was hilarious. When I was reading it, I was cracking up. MORE LIKE CRYING UP. “Then I was like, ‘Oh my god. If she reads this, she’s going to think – what if she thinks it’s true?’” she continued. “I just shot her an e-mail, and was like, ‘Hey, can’t wait to see more as this feud unfolds!’” LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE IT ALL PLANNED OUT. The “Twilight” star took the time to respond to Jennifer, putting her mind at ease. “She wrote me back, and she was like, ‘It’s fine. Welcome to the world where everything you say gets turned into [something it’s not],” the 21-year-old recounted. “So, she understood.” WHAT SHE UNDERSTOOD WAS THAT IT'S ON. And when it comes down to which series Jennifer has more allegiance too – it’s no surprise where the actress’ heart is. “Since there is the big rivalry between ‘Hunger Games’ and ‘Twilight’… Who’s got the hotter guys?” Shaun asked. “Since the feud is out in the open, I feel much more relieved, and I’m ready to take over as Hollywood’s glam girl,” the actress joked. SURE. YES. "JOKED." “I have to go with our guys. But, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner [are very good looking,] but I have to go with mine… they’re my boys! AND THEY WILL BE DEPLOYED AS THE FIRST WAVE OF ATTACK AGAINST ALL THINGS TWIGHLIGHTY AND KRISTINY. PREPARE TO WITHER BEFORE ME, VAMPIRE CHICK.”