Cupcake update

Two new and exciting developments from the world of cupcakes. First there's the Cupcake Dress, which is totally creepy and weird if it's not Halloween and you're a day over five. Come to think of it, it's also creepy and weird if you're under five. It's available at Etsy. And then we have the Periodic Table in cupcakes (via Buzzfeed). If I had been exposed to that as an impressionable child I might have taken a liking to science and found an honest way to make a living. Regrets.

Have a nice weekend

Sorry. Have to run. Just got this obnoxious exciting new cookbook. Can't wait to order Chinese food as usual try it out. I'm sure there are some pies shaped like Robert Pattinson's hair and meatloaf containing real werewolf wonderful, nutricious recipes.

If you're dropping by Rutherford, New Jersey, could you pick me up a dozen New Moon cupcakes?

And I don't particularly care which boy wonder is depicted in the frosting.

And furthermore (and you can stop right there with the complaining over all this Twilight talk - there's no helping it this week), Kevin Smith went to the premiere and tweets:

"Went on a Daddy/Daughter date to the NEW MOON premiere. The flick's well-made & the kid loved it; but to non-tween me? Might as well  be in Martian. For middle-aged me, it's as inscrutable as an Israeli film: I simply cannot figure out the politics of the region. Felt like how my parents must've felt when they'd take young me to STAR WARS flicks: "I'm glad the kid likes it, but I'm confused as bleep."

I'm not the only one who likes to drink at seven in the morning

This story from TMZ makes me feel so much better about my little whole-wheat toast and vodka breakfasts:

"Kiefer Sutherland racked up the following $700 bar tab between 7am and 1pm. Yes, those times are correct. We've learned the "24" star and members of the show's crew popped into The Spot in San Pedro, California last week after wrapping up a shoot nearby - and they were ready to get their drink on. According to an employee at the bar, Kiefer was throwing back scotch & Cokes ewww and bought drinks for everybody in the joint - roughly 30 people. The total damage: $500. No food ... all booze. The drinks may have been stiff, but Kiefer wasn't - we're told he tipped $200. FYI: We're told Sutherland - who has a few DUIs under his belt - was responsible this time and used a designated driver when he left the bar."

Most delicious caffeinated dried meat snack ever. Today

If you're like me, you often find yourself in a horribly boring meeting, nodding off, wishing you could just chew some beef jerky and wake up. Until Perky Jerky it has been but an idle wish.

"Perky Jerky is the world's first all-natural performance enhancing meat snack. Put simply, we've combined the most tender and flavorful beef jerky, with an extra dose of energy (caffeine, from the Guarana we add) to provide a jerky experience you won't find anywhere else.
Whether you love it because it's the best tasting jerky around, or because it provides a nice little pick-me-up (similar to coffee or energy drinks), you're not alone. You'll find addicts in both camps."

A nice, light snack

If you're a bit peckish this morning, may I recommend a bowl of macaroni salad. I particularly like the use of pre-shredded carrots. Because, God knows, you wouldn't want to expend any energy doing it yourself. It's one of many, many things I will never understand. Pre-shredded carrots? Pre-shredded cheese? How lazy do you have to be to not be able to summon the energy to shred?

Via Buzzfeed.

Would you like a snack?

From Buzzfeed.

Best advertising campaign ever. Today

Here's a delicious, cold taste of Battle for Milkquarious, a little film made by the California Milk Processor Board. (They need to find a new name, because that doesn't sound tasty at all.) The rest is here and full of calcium.

Best diet ever. Today

Could you really bring yourself to eat this? I think not. Repeat the treatment during lunch and dinner and within three weeks, you'll have lost at least 345 grams.

Via Buzzfeed.

Questionable promotional item

Canada's Wonderland is promoting the annual Halloween Haunt, and to do so, sent a bag of God knows what to the office. Could be juice. Could be human blood. Could be crushed squirrels. I'm not going to find out.

You can get all kinds of information about the Halloween Haunt here. I don't think I will be going. Wonderland already makes me nervous without the Halloween treatment. No, I will stay at home and hand out contaminated candy to unsuspecting children as per usual.

And speaking of candy, here are some Dexter chocolate cigars (you know, Dexter has a new baby, have a cigar ...). I would totally eat them for lunch, except that they're milk chocolate and I don't like milk chocolate. I strongly suspect that milk chocolate isn't chocolate at all.