Apart from that, how was your weekend?

Good Monday morning. Just two more weeks until I'm taking two weeks off. Not that I'm counting the days. This weekend I saw something sublime: DV8 dance theatre's To Be Straight With You at the Fleck Theatre. I saw something incredibly well-reviewed that I failed to understand the brilliance of: Up In The Air (I thought it was fine but, "best movie of the year?" I'm clearly an idiot, because I wouldn't put it in my top five). And something wearying and exhausting: the line-up to pay at IKEA. Yes, I know, going to IKEA just before Christmas is dumb. But it had to be done. Here are some news:

Hey, Summit! You realize that Dracula doesn't sparkle? From THR: "After exploring the romantic angst of vampires in "Twilight," Summit is developing an action-oriented take on the most famous of the fanged: Dracula. This one already comes with its own heartthrob in the form of Brad Pitt. What does that mean? Is he playing old fang-face? The company has picked up "Vlad," a script by actor Charlie Hunnam, and is in negotiations with music video and photographer Anthony Mandler to direct the project. Pitt is producing Ahhhh. I see with Dede Gardner via the duo's Plan B Entertainment production shingle. "Vlad" centers on Dracula as a young prince; he is known to history as Vlad the Impaler, the man behind the Dracula myth. Summit picked up "Vlad" awhile ago, developing it quietly, but when execs saw Mandler's reel, the project got a shot in the arm."

Speaking of sparkly vamps New Moon took a 63 per cent dive at the box office and ended up in second place with $15.7 million. In first, even with a 49 per cent drop, was Sandra Bullock's The Blind Side. Brothers, new only new movie in the top five, made $9.7 million for third place. The aformentioned Up In The Air only opened on 15 screens, but made an astounding $79,000 per screen and ended up in 13th place. Box Office Mojo.

Billy Joel's daughter doing okay "Billy Joel's daughter has been released from the hospital. Her rep told Usmagazine.com that Alexa Ray Joel, 23, has left St. Vincent's Hospital in NYC after being admitted on Saturday. Although Billy Joel, 60, was not at the hospital -- he was at his home in Oyster Bay, Long Island, at the time - he told Newsday late Saturday night that his daughter was okay. "She is going to be fine," he said. According to reports, Alexa Ray swallowed an unknown amount of pills in a possible suicide attempt."

Britney's dad to end conservatorship? From TMZ: "Britney Spears' team has taken the first step toward ending the conservatorship, TMZ has learned ... but it's by no means a done deal. Sources tells us lawyers and others connected with the case have been meeting ... evaluating Britney's progress with the goal of ending the conservatorship. As we first reported, Britney's dad, Jamie Spears, wanted to wait until her tour ended before making the big move, but it's something he wants for his daughter only when the time is right. We know there have been several lengthy meetings recently between the lawyers and the court commissioner in the commissioner's chambers. Jamie and the lawyers will not make the decision to end the conservatorship. They will weigh in, but the person with all the influence is the "capacity expert" - a psychiatrist who was appointed by the court. The capacity expert will do a thorough evaluation and submit it to the commissioner."

Apart from that, how was your weekend?

... brought to you by the Booty Buddy Blanket aka the Hipster Snuggie from Urban Outfitters. (via Buzzfeed). You know you want one.

I had a nice, long weekend, mostly filled with excitement such as vacuumning cat hair and supervising the sweetie while he put up the Christmas lights. Went to dinner with a friend (Hi Erin) and to the One Of A Kind Show with another friend (Hi Elizabeth!) where I bought a couple of very nice things that I didn't need at all and probably will never use. And I saw The Fantastic Mr. Fox, which was just lovely and happy-making. And also, if a bomb had gone off in the theatre, the hipster population of Toronto would have been decimated by five per cent right there. I've seldom seen so many women doing the ironically-worn-ugly-dress-thing and so many skinny, bearded guys wearing the corduroy blazer/woolen scarf combo in one place. They all had the exact same facial expressing as Booty Buddy Blanket girl. Here's some news:

Tiger Woods did something or his wife did something and a tree got in the way You know all about this already, but here's bit of an update from TMZ: "Sources tell TMZ the Florida Highway Patrol is now focusing on obtaining a search warrant -- allowing them to seize medical records from the hospital that treated Tiger Woods -- in an attempt to determine if the wounds Woods sustained are consistent with a car accident or domestic violence.
We're told authorities believe they can show probable cause a crime was committed, a necessary step in obtaining a warrant. One big piece of evidence showing probable cause ... sources tell us Tiger's wife, Elin Nordegren told FHP troopers she went looking for Tiger in a golf cart, came upon the accident and then used a golf club to break the window to gain entry. That's a very different story from what she first told Windemere cops shortly after the accident -- she never mentioned a golf cart."

New Moon drops off dramatically...  But even with a 70 per cent loss compared to last week, holds on to first place at the box office with $42.5 million. In second place, Sandra Bullock's The Blind Side made $40 million. 2012 made $18 million for third place. New release Old Dogs managed to get to fourth place with $16.8 million despite some of the most vitriolic reviews of the year.

Fun weekend for the Hasselhoffs While David Hasselhoff was placed under a psych hold after suffering reported alchohol-induced seizures, according to TMZ, "his ex-wife, Pamela Bach, had her own issues with alcohol last night -- we've learned she was arrested for DUI ... and she will probably do jail time. According to law enforcement sources, Bach took a breathalyzer test and blew a .14 and a .13. She was taken Van Nuys where she was booked and released. Bach tells TMZ, "I am remorseful and mortified. I am going through a really difficult time between David being in the hospital and dealing with the divorce." By the way, the divorce was final in 2007."

Apart from that, how was your weekend?

Sorry. I'm a little late getting started this morning. No reason. Just moving slowly. This weekend, I made the mistake of going to see Lars von Trier's Anti-Christ. Thanks mom, for telling me it's a great, must-see movie. I thought it was an unpleasant fifty per cent utter boredom and fifty per cent artsy Saw with decomposing, talking animals. I like my Saw without any kind of navel-gazing psycho-babble, thank you. Here's some news:

Honorary Oscars From LA Times: "The academy bestowed its honorary awards during a three-hour-plus ceremony at the Grand Ballroom at Hollywood & Highland on 85-year-old actress Lauren Bacall, who made her film debut opposite Humphrey Bogart in 1944's "To Have and Have Not"; noted cinematographer Gordon Willis, 78, who brought new meaning to shadow and light in such classics as "The Godfather" trilogy; and maverick 83-year-old producer-director-writer Roger Corman, who excelled in making stylish films on a shoestring budget while giving up-and-coming directors such as Francis Ford Coppola and Jonathan Demme their start. Producer and former studio executive John Calley, 79 ("Remains of the Day") was the recipient of the Irving G. Thalberg Award."

Audiences like the end of the world 2012 took in a nice pile of $65 million this weekend. In second place was A Christmas Carol with $22 million. Men Who Stare at Goats made $6.2 million. Way down on the chart, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, in very, very limited release made an astounding $65,000 per screen. Box Office Mojo.

Hitched "Kings of Leon drummer Nathan Followill has wed his girlfriend, singer/songwriter Jessie Baylin, Usmagazine.com has confirmed. The band's rep tells Us they tied the knot around 5 p.m. at Wolf Den Farm in Brentwood, Tenn., in front of close friends and family, including Scarlett Johansson (who went to high school with Baylin)." Us. And furthermore, "It was a rockin' affair when the lead singer of Slipknot tied the knot Friday. Corey Taylor married Stephanie Luby at Las Vegas's Palms Hotel, where the wedding party walked down the aisle to Metallica's "For Whom The Bell Tolls." The 350 wedding guests who packed the hotel's Pearl Concert Theater – fitting since the wedding quickly turned into a concert – included Sugar Ray's Mark McGrath, as well as Camp Freddy's Dave Navarro and Billy Morrison, who acted as the minister." People.  

And this was the funniest part of Saturday Night Live:

Apart from that, how was your weekend?

Quick!! Get the producers of the Rockstar reality show on the horn! From TMZ: "What is Aerosmith without Steven Tyler?Joe Perry and some guys you can't remember the name of. The unthinkable might be a reality -- Tyler may be on his way out. Joe Perry told the Las Vegas Sun he thinks Tyler has quit, but he isn't really sure. He says, "Steven quit as far as I can tell ... I don't know anymore than you do about it. I got off the plane two nights ago. I saw online that Steven said that he was going to leave the band. I don't know for how long, indefinitely or whatever. Other than that, I don't know."

Jake Gyllenhaal takes time out from being photographed with Reese Witherspoon From Variety: "Jake Gyllenhaal is in negotiations to star in sci-fi thriller "Source Code" for Vendome Pictures and the Mark Gordon Co. Duncan Jones will direct ... "Source Code" centers on a soldier who wakes up in the body of an unknown commuter and is forced to live and relive a harrowing train bombing until he can determine who is responsible for it."

Nooooooo "Jensen Ackles and his longtime girlfriend Danneel Harris are engaged, her rep confirms exclusively to JustJared.com. The 31-year-old Supernatural actor and 30-year-old One Tree Hill actress have been dating for about three years but have been friends for nearly a decade. The couple, who are longtime members of the WB/CW family, co-starred in the 2007 romantic comedy Ten Inch Hero. Danneel confirmed the news herself on her Twitter account. Simply put, she wrote, “Yes… !”

Hitched "Actress Marla Sokoloff of The Practice married Alec Puro, a drummer with the band Deadsy, at an evening ceremony in Beverly Hills on Sunday. The bride, 28, arrived at Il Cielo restaurant at 5:50 p.m. with five bridesmaids and two matrons of honor. In front of a 100 guests, the bride and groom walked down the aisle in the restaurant's Chapel Garden. The bride wore a strapless white gown with a black sash around her waist. She carried a bouquet of white flowers." More blah-blah-blah at People.

And here is Taylor Swift's cute SNL monologue:
 

Apart from that, how was your weekend?

I don't know if it's because the kids in my neighbourhood don't like me (which is a distinct possibility what with the spiked electric poison fence around my lawn and all) but the number of candy-seeking children was only about half of last year. Maybe their parents are paranoid about that flu thing that's going around? Anyuglywigfornoreason, we were left with a lot of candy. Fortunately the neigbours have dogs so we just threw it all over the fence.

Tom Cruise gets his wife a job From Variety: "Katie Holmes has replaced Liv Tyler in the independently financed comedy "The Romantics." The actress has come aboard to topline and exec produce the pic, which also stars Anna Paquin, Josh Duhamel, Malin Akerman, Elijah Wood, Adam Brody and Jeremy Strong. The film revolves around eight friends from college who reunite for a wedding. Holmes, fresh off her role in Miramax's "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark," will play Laura, the maid of honor to Anna Paquin's Lila, the bride. Laura and Lila are best friends who both have a past with the groom (Duhamel)."

Spawn Excellent work Oksana Grigorieva, you're set for life: "It’s official – Mel Gibson is an Octo-Dad! RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively that Mel’s fiancé Oksana Grigorieva has given birth to their baby. And pass out the cigars because it’s a healthy baby girl. Oksana gave birth on Friday, a few weeks early but a source tells RadarOnline.com that everything went well and mom and daughter are doing just fine. In fact, RadarOnline.com has learned that mom and the baby are already home."

This Is It wins weekend box office The Michael Jackson thingy took in $21.3 million, but Paranormal Activity, which took $16.5, still had a higher per-screen average. Law Abiding Citizen came in third with $7.3 million while Couples Retreat made $6 million for fourth place. Saw VI dropped 60 per cent in its second week to $5.5 million.  Box Office Mojo.

Adam Lambert and boyfriend break up "A source confirms to Usmagazine.com that the American Idol runner-up, 27, and the interior designer, 24, have ended their relationship. "They're still friends, and it's totally mutual," the source tells Us. "They will still talk and see each other."And there's very little drama behind the split, the pal says. It's all about timing -- and Lambert's on-the-launchpad career. "Adam is crazy busy right now getting the album done and squeezing in rehearsals," the source tells Us, referring to Lambert's debut album, For Your Entertainment, out Nov. 23. "They both felt this moment is too important for Adam to focus on anything else but getting this album out and having it be a huge hit."

Elton John under the weather From Us: "After canceling a string of shows in his native UK, Elton John has followed doctor's orders and postponed three upcoming concerts in Seattle and Portland "due to a serious case of e-coli bacterial infection and influenza," his official website states. A spokesman clarified that the 62 year-old musician "has flu and is absolutely fine," BBC News reported."

Apart from that, how was your weekend?

... brought to you by a delicious cold drink.

Tara-Jean Popowich wins So You Think You Can Dance I missed the show. I was watching baseball. Sometimes one has to make some tough, tough choices in life. But Rob Salem has all the details.

Footloose loses director From Variety "Kenny Ortega has ankled as director of "Footloose" over differences with Paramount Pictures on tone and budget. The move comes just before Ortega's Michael Jackson concert film "This Is It" bows on Wednesday. Par is beginning the search for a new director who will keep the pic on track to start production in March, when star Chace Crawford is on hiatus from "Gossip Girl." Crawford is starring with Julianne Hough ... "Footloose" is a remake of the 1984 drama about a city kid (a star-making turn for Kevin Bacon) who moves to a conservative town and rebels against its no-dance law. Insiders said Ortega wanted to make a picture with elaborately staged musical numbers at a budget of $30 million or so. Par production chief Adam Goodman wanted an edgier drama with less emphasis on the musical numbers and a budget around $25 million or less."

Another great weekend for Paranormal Activity The scary, scary movie, famously made at the cost of two dimes and a bucket of chicken, took in $22 million. Meanwhile Saw VI didn't do very well at all and ended up with just $14.8 million. I didn't see either, but I did finally find the time to see Where The Wild Things Are (LOVED IT!), which made $14.4 million. Astro Boy was disappointing with $7 million, while Cirque de Freak only made $6.3. The not-so-well-reviewed Amelia made $4 million, but on a limited numer of screens with a pretty good average.  Mojo Box Office.

Ivanka Trump gets married From People: "Ivanka Trump wed Jared Kushner, publisher of the New York Observer, in a ceremony at the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, N.J., on Sunday. "She looks amazing," a rep told People of the bride. She walked down the aisle in a Vera Wang gown inspired by Grace Kelly, before celebrating with her new husband, her father Donald Trump and more than 500 guests."

Apart from that, how was your weekend?

... brought to you by the fine-looking brothers from the Vampire Diaries. Just as a little Monday morning pick-me-up. My weekend consisted mainly of vacuuming, doing laundry, raking leaves and shopping for such exciting items as humidifiers and Halloween candy. Also, there's definitely something living in my attic. Scraping noises indicate racoon. Dragging noises indicate a small-sized serial killer. I'll keep you updated. Here are some news:

Stop hurting Jennifer Love Hewitt's feelings "Buzz about an impending breakup between Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy is just that – buzz, according to the Ghost Whisperer star. "I'm not going to lie – it's not annoying, it's hurtful," Hewitt told People Saturday. "It's really hurtful that people say that," says Hewitt, 30, who attended the event with her beau of 8 months, costar Jamie Kennedy. "Because he is like the most awesome person." ... "We are just trying to be really happy. It makes it hard to do that when everybody is putting negative energy out there."

Wild Things in first place The depressed monsters took in $32.5 million at the box office. In second place, Gerard Butler (who managed to make me chuckle twice on SNL) made $21 million with Law Abiding Citizen. Paranormal Activity, which cost an estimated 12 dollars to make, took in $20 million and landed in third. Box Office Mojo.

Hotter-with-age John Stamos admits he was drunk on TV "John Stamos has admitted he was drunk when he famously made a bizarre appearance on the Australian talk show Mornings with Kerri-Anne in 2007. While promoting his former NBC drama ER, the 46-year-old actor, who appeared bleary-eyed, read host Kerri-Anne Kennerley's lines from the teleprompter and also made lewd gestures in front of her. "I'll be honest: When I went on that morning show, I was drunk," he tells the Advocate in a new interview. "Yes, I was on sleeping pills and I was jet-lagged, but I was also just plastered. And I never said I wasn't, but that whole Warner Bros. publicity machine got involved and said, 'Just say he was jet-lagged.'" Added Stamos, "I said, 'No, tell 'em the truth! I was bleeping drunk in Australia. Big deal.'" Us.

Whew. I was so worried "TMZ has learned Lamar Odom and Khloe Karsashian have struck a deal with a prenup - and even though Lamar gets to keep his earnings separate, Khloe got more than he initially offered. We know Lamar and Khloe have orally agreed, but the deal is not yet inked. It's basically the same structure as we first reported when they began negotiating. Lamar's $33 million - which he stands to make during his 4-year contract with the Lakers -- is out of bounds for Khloe. But Lamar will fund the joint account, and Khloe can do considerable damage with that. Again, as we reported, Khloe will get an annual lump sum, which will not go up or down throughout the marriage. We also know during the negotiations Khloe (with the help of her mom, Kris) got Lamar to agree to buy a nice, expensive house for both of them that will probably cost $5 million minimum. Sources say the deal should be signed this week."

Apart from that, how was your weekend?

... brought to you by the best Dalek pumpkin ever.

My weekend was lovely, thanks for asking. I spent a couple of days in Montreal eating excellent food, losing money at the casino and doing some shopping. Very restorative. Stayed at the lovely Opus Hotel, which I highly recommend. Why, you ask? Because instead of leaving silly mints when turning down the bed, they leave a variety of interesting lollipops. Whimsilicious. We ate at the much-recommended Pied de Cochon and, yes, the Duck in a Can and the fois gras (yes, I will burn in Hell) are great. But for brilliant service, may I recommend Papas Tapas/Martinis. Silly-ish name, but great food (tartare, rabbit - yes, I will burn some more in Hell) and the most attentive staff I have ever experienced. Also, they but gummi-gators in the martinis. More whimsiliciousness.

Moving on to some news:

Glee-less From TMZ: "The hit FOX show "Glee" is chorus non grata at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade ... and we've learned NBC is behind it all. The network that can't produce a hit to save its life -- at least this year - has banned the cast of "Glee" from appearing at the Parade that airs on NBC.Sources tell us Macy's invited the "Glee" cast - the deal was all but signed -- but when rival NBC found out, they told the department store to pull the plug."

Spawn "Heidi Klum and Seal welcomed a girl, Lou Samuel, on Oct. 9 in Los Angeles. She joins siblings Johan, 2 ½, Henry, 4, and Leni, 5." Also, "It's a girl for Saturday Night Live funnyman Bill Hader. Wife Maggie Carey delivered the couple's first child, Hannah Kathryn Hader, on Oct. 6." Now if Hader could just find some way to make Saturday Night Live funny, everything would be great. Saturday's installment was beyond dire. People.

Gross "Leslie Hindman Auctioneers in Chicago is putting up a clump of the Elvis's locks for auction Sunday along with memorabilia, clothes and sweat-stained scarves, the Associated Press reports. The hair is said to have come from Presley's crewcut in 1958 after enlisting in the service. Another collector, who owns some of Presley's hair, has matched the latest sample to one he owns. In 2002, a clump of the late singer's hair went for $115,000 at auction." People.

Apart from that, how was your weekend?

Firstly - the magical wonder twins are let out in the sunlight! Hallelujah! The Brangelina took Knoxville and Vivienne out for ice cream in Jordan this weekend. The owner of the ice cream parlour took this picture and tweeted it. It appears, sadly, that his Twitter account died from the over-exposure to so much perfection.

My knees still hurt from walking and walking and walking on Saturday for Nuit Blanche. But it was worth it. Fun as usual. My favourite was the Apology Project. Check out photo and my colleague Ariel Teplitsky's article here. I ran into him at Liberty Village and he warned me that the plane projected on the ceiling of the grocery store was lame. I should have listened. I also agree with him that Bay Street had it going on this year. You got a contact high just standing next to the vodka pool and I appreciate any event at which you're handed free cotton candy.

What else? Right. Battle of the Blades last night. You all know how much I was looking forward to that. I don't know. Somehow it failed to excite me. Too polite. Too nice. Scores too high. Everybody is one big family. Although, it was very cute and endearing how the CBC couldn't get the judges' scoreboard to work.

Anydisasppointed, here's some news:

Jon Gosselin even bigger douche than first expected Turns out that while he was telling Larry King that he wanted to be a better father and stop his kids from doing any more episodes and halt the divorce proceedings and blah-dee-blah, he was busy emptying out the joint bank account. "Celebrity lawyer Marty Singer, a litigation attorney for Kate, tells People that Jon never warned Kate he was going to remove the large sum of money from their account last week, even though the court had told them not to take significant amounts from joint accounts without the other's approval. Singer says he e-mailed a stern letter to Jon's attorney on Friday but he hasn't heard back. "They have not responded. I'm sure he will respond by going on another TV show," says Singer, who noted that Jon’s move flies in the face of comments Jon made to Larry King that he'd like to put the brakes on his divorce. Singer says he expects Kate's family law attorney in Pennsylvania will go to court Monday morning to suggest Jon be held in contempt.  According to Singer, Kate learned about the withdrawal after receiving overdraft notices regarding her joint account with her estranged husband. When she inquired with the bank, she was told Jon had removed $200,000, leaving only about $1,000 in the account."

Big announcement "Sex And The City hunk Chris Noth announced his engagement to longtime love Tara Lynn Wilson Sunday. The 54-year-old, known for his role as Sarah Jessica Parker's romantic interest Mr. Big on the hit cable/ movie franchise, has a toddler son with Wilson named Orion Christopher." Orion can be the ring bearer. The rings can hang on his belt. Radar.

Apart from that, how was your weekend?

Megan Fox was surprisingly okay hosting Saturday Night Live, but, damn, that was an awful show overall. I think I may have attempted to smile twice. All summer and that's the best they can come up with? Lame, bad writing. And, no I didn't notice that new cast member Jenny Slate said a terrible, terrible word that starts with f and has four letters and is so terrible NBC may go straight to hell. Who cares? Why don't we all instead focus on something useful, like arresting great artists who may have done something bad 30 years ago? Something the alleged victim has stated she's not interested in seeing pursued because she's like to get on with her life. PS: Dexter remains awesome.

Meatballs stay on top Neither Bruce Willis nor the - by all accounts - brutal remake of Fame could topple Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs from top of the box office chart. The animated movie made $24.6 million while Surrogates made a meager $15 million and Fame bombed with $10 million. The other new release, Pandorum, didn't fare well either and took only $4.4 million. Box Office Mojo.  

Weddings From People: "In what proved to be an elegant finale to their month-long courtship, Khloe Kardashian wed Los Angeles Laker Lamar Odom Sunday evening at a private residence in Beverly Hills, People confirms. The two were married in front of triple arches of white roses created by celebrity florist Mark's Garden. At 5:12 p.m., Kardashian, 25, walked down the outdoor aisle in a Vera Wang gown on the arm of her stepfather, Bruce Jenner, with sisters Kim and a pregnant Kourtney at her side." I'm sorry. I can't read any more of this. You're on your own. In other, less annoying nuptuals, "On Saturday, Jaimy Pressly of My Name Is Earl married entertainment lawyer Simran Singh in front of family and friends in Malibu" and Justin Guarini, who was the loser of the first season of Idol, married someone he met in high school.

Catch up on the Roman Polanski story: