Kristen Stewart swears a lot, calls Robert Pattinson 'boyfriend'

In a new interview with Elle, Kristen Stewart walks around a book store, fondles the books and swears like a particularly cranky sailor. It's very charming and ladylike but, more importantly, she actually refers to Robert Pattinson as her boyfriend. Here is a selection of quotes. Via Celebitchy.

On the book/film Bel Ami: “Oh my God, my bleeping boyfriend just did this movie. The French, they’re up in arms that he did it.”

On riding horses for Snow White: “I hated it. I didn’t take to the whole mentality of bleeping ordering that thing around – ‘Go now!’ You have to be an a–hole, basically. Not to say that horse people are a–holes to their horses. But you have to basically tell that thing who’s boss, and I didn’t want to do that. I was like, ‘No, do your thing. I don’t even want to be up here.’”

On home schooling and, you know, bleeping life: ““Because I didn’t go to bleeping school, I feel I would have had a bit something extra if I had ... Maybe because my life is so perfect, when I see the other side of life, it just seems like, almost like I want … You can learn so much from bad things. I feel boring. I feel like, Why is everything so easy for me? I can’t wait for something crazy to bleeping happen to me. Just life. I want someone to bleep me over! Do you know what I mean?”

On acting with William Hurt: “He was the first guy I ever saw take a script and bleeping turn it on its head. He threw us all up into the air. It was so cool working with him. He is so beat – he’s like, On the Road. Incredibly intense. Dude!”

On the gold ring she wears: “Everyone wants to know. Everyone knows already – it’s ridiculous.”

Mel Gibson may sue Joe Eszterhas. Allegedly

If you missed the dulcet tones of Mel unleashing a fresh stream of mouth dirt, you should scroll down and listen. And then you should know that, according to TMZ, Mel now wants to sue Joe Eszterhas for taping his rant:

"Mel Gibson is seriously considering suing Joe Eszterhas for secretly recording him at his home in Costa Rica last December, and then releasing the audio rant. Sources connected with Mel tell TMZ ... the actor believes he has a "basic human right" NOT to be secretly recorded in his own home. We're told Mel's people are looking at the laws of Costa Rica to determine if recording laws were violated and, even if they weren't, if Mel's right of privacy was violated by the release of the audio. Mel explodes in the recording about Eszterhas' lack of progress with "The Maccabees" script  - "What the bleep have you been doing!!"  He also unloads on Oksana Grigorieva ... We're told Mel believes anyone recorded "at their worst moment" would sound awful, and it's unfair to trap people in their refuge. One Mel source notes with skepticism that Eszterhas has made other allegations against Mel ... that the actor also ranted against the Jews and expressed pleasure that John Lennon was shot and killed .... but none of that is on the tape."

Mel Gibson's newest incoherent rant

Here is the long-awaited audio of Mel Gibson doing what he does best: yell incoherently. This was recorded by Joe Eszterhas' son while the two were visiting Mel in Costa Rica. (Sorry for your burden, Costa Rica). According to Eszterhas, via The Wrap, "The bottom line is it shows to me he badly needs help,” Eszterhas told TheWrap. “My interest isn’t to damage him with this tape but to prevent damage being done to others, starting with Jews, including Oksana and now, I’m sure, me. I strongly believe that unless he seeks and receives some kind of psychiatric help, someone is going to get hurt."

Eszterhas and Gibson had been working together on getting a movie about the Macabees off the ground. According to The Wrap, after the two had a falling-out, Eszterhas wrote a letter to Gibson, "accusing the movie star of making continual anti-Semitic remarks, threatening violence to Grigorieva and detailing out-of-control behavior, including the rampage he described in detail. The movie star responded in a letter that much of Eszterhas’ allegations were “utter fabrications.” According to Eszterhas' letter, Gibson's rant began unexpectedly, as the guests had gathered for before-dinner drinks, and Gibson happened to look at a photo of himself holding his baby daughter Luci in which he was gray and balding:
The letter reads: "You were staring at the photograph of you and Luci, your beautiful little girl  ... and you suddenly exploded. You hurled your cellphone into a wall and started to scream, 'I look so bleeping old! I look horrible! That bleeping bleep is destroying me!  She’s taking my looks! I hate her! She’s destroying my life!' You jumped up, screaming full-throated: 'Look at me!! Bleeping look at me! Look how terrible I look! Answer me, God! Why did you turn your back on me!? Bleep you! Bleep you!' You stepped a few feet away and screamed into the sky, 'I’m not gonna take it up bleep anymore and say, ‘Thank you, your honor!’”
According to the letter, Gibson ran around the side of the house to a downstairs, open-air billiard room - all of which can be heard on the recording.

WARNING: Full of barely audible foul language, such as, "who the bleep wants to eat? Bleeep. Bleeep." If you hate swearing and have exceptionable hearing, you should avoid this.

Bad lip reading with Joe Biden

The best series in the world (not really) continues:

Britain's Got Talent bans drinking and booing

It sounds like the audience has a lot of fun during tapings of Britain's Got Talent. But that's about to stop. And if you can't numb the pain with cheap liquor and boo at those lacking in talent, I don't really understand why you'd want to sit through something like that.

Breaking News has this: "'Britain's Got Talent' bosses have banned the audience from booing during auditions. Crowd members had taken to jeering judge Carmen Electra - who is standing in for regular judge Amanda Holden - but producers are keen to curb it as well as stopping the audience from drinking while the acts are on stage. A source told the Daily Mirror newspaper: "There was a lot of really loud, angry noise directed at Carmen. It was getting difficult for the microphones to pick up what was going on between the judges and the acts. Carmen was clearly getting anxious about it, too. "The audience was asked to stop shouting for Amanda because it was 'interrupting the show'. "'BGT' is a family show, so they don't want too much swearing from the crowd or drunken audience members. They also want to cut down on the number of people nipping out to the loos during recording." Meanwhile, the remaining members of the judging panel - Simon Cowell, David Walliams and Alesha Dixon - are convinced they've found the "new Susan Boyle". The panel were hugely impressed with 17-year-old Jonathan Antoine and Simon said it felt just like when Susan blew the judges away with her audition in 2009. He whispered to Carmen: "It was like Susan all over again."

Careful research (a.k.a. typing "Jonathan Antoine" into Google), reveals that this may be the contestant in question. His hobbies appear to include singing classic stalker songs in churches. My kind of guy.

(Thank you, John)

All the d'ohs of Homer Simpson

Between this and the post below, you may need to adjust your medication.

Via The Daily What.

Daniel Craig hates the Kardashians. Also: Kourtney is pregnant

Nice to see that Kourtney is picking up the slack. Kris Jenner must have been worried there for a bit when it turned out that Kim wasn't going to produce any new Kardashians just yet. More about the blessed addition later. But first some words of wisdom from Daniel Craig:

Craig is the cover boy for GQ UK's January issue and he has this to say vis-a-vis privacy: "It’s not about being afraid to be public with your emotions or about who you are and what you stand for. But if you sell it off it’s gone. You can’t buy it back – you can’t buy your privacy back. Ooh I want to be alone. Bleep you. We’ve been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta and now you want some privacy?” And then: “Look at the Kardashians, they’re worth millions. I don’t think they were that badly off to begin with but now look at them. You see that and you think ‘what, you mean all I have to do is behave like a bleeping idiot on television and then you’ll pay me millions. I’m not judging it – well, I am obviously.”

And that leads perfectly into the next item, which deals with the next Kardashian birth we're to be subjected to AND a cover for Kourtney. Well played, Kourtney: "Get ready for one more member of the extended Kardashian family to keep up with! Kourtney Kardashian and beau Scott Disick are expecting their second child together, they tell the new Us Weekly in an exclusive cover story. The E! reality star, 32, took a pregnancy test about five weeks ago - and woke up Disick, 28 (not a morning person!), around 7.a.m. to tell him the positive results. "Now I'm nine weeks along," Kardashian tells Us. "You're supposed to wait 12 weeks to tell people, but I feel confident." The son or daughter-to-be will be the second child for the couple of five years, whose son Mason, nearly 2, was a bit of a surprise. Not so much for baby number two, the happy couple tells Us. "It wasn't like we weren't trying," Disick, 28, says. "We kind of just said, 'If it's meant to be, it'll be.'"

And finally: Barbara Walters is apparently fascinated by the whole sordid matter. This from ABC Radio: "You might not find the Kardashian family to be fascinating, but Barbara Walters apparently does. The Kardashians will be featured on the TV special, Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011. USA Today reports the special will also feature Modern Family stars Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet, along with Simon Cowell, New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter, Donald Trump, singer Katy Perry and Britain’s Pippa Middleton. Walter’s number one “Most Fascinating Person of 2011” will be announced on the show."

Simmer down, ladies

From FourFour.

Mickey Rourke should probably try to speak less

Mickey Rourke did an interview with something called Modern Man.  Here is a delightful selection of what he had to say about women, writers and the people he hopes will continue to employ him.

You visited a Russian prison to prepare for your role in Iron Man 2. How did you prepare to play an ancient Greek Titan king for Immortals?
I showed up. The director spent three years working on the overall look of the film and that really helped. They paid me a lot of money for a few days of work so I was happy to go. It’s just a shame I didn’t get to work with the hot blond chick, Isabel Lucas. [below] I also loved Frieda Pinto, but she has a boyfriend. She’s a really nice person and I have great respect for her as an actress — and I think most actresses are c---s with a capital K.

So … you had fun on the film?
I am just grateful for any role I have — every day I say, “God, let me not be late for work, so I’m not out of work another 13 years.” When you are out of work that long, your whole life changes; it’s a humiliating, shameful experience. I don’t know if you ever get over it. Hopefully, I can keep my mouth shut because I don’t want to go back to that lonely, dark place. This f--king town is built on envy. They can’t wait to [he raises his middle finger] to your ass.

Do you keep up with the training after filming wrapped?
The regime I am on now is grueling. I just took a year off to write a screenplay about Gareth Thomas, a gay rugby player; I went over to Wales to beg him to let me do it. The writer I hired wrote s--t so I rewrote it and now it’s great. We shoot in March, and I think it will be the best movie I’ve ever made. We have been training now for the past five or six months and it’s been physically challenging.

When are you going to write a memoir?
Why bother? Other people write books about me, so I don’t need to. I’m not interested in my legacy. When you’re dead, you’re dead. I don’t give a f--k. I will be up in heaven. Hopefully.

Charlize Theron has a delightful pottymouth

Hah. Charlize Theron was at a screening of Young Adult in London last night and let fly a few, light curses.

The British Sun has this: "Hollywood star Charlize Theron shocked a London audience last night with a string of swear words. She turned the air blue at a BAFTA screening of her new film Young Adult, in which she plays a boozy, foul-mouthed ex-prom queen. Asked where she got her sour facial expressions, she replied: "It's because I'm a total c---." Theron, 36, who won an Oscar for Monster, said playing the character was "so f---ing refreshing". Told it was time to leave the stage, she joked: "Screw that, I flew from f---ing LA for this."

And speaking of Charlize Theron, here's that Snow White trailer I couldn't find earlier. It's very funny how this movie presumes we're willing to beieve Kristen Stewart could ever be hotter than Charlize.