Would you be able to fly? Could you move large buildings with your small toe? Would you be able to command an army of snakes with your eyelashes. Only the Random Superhero Generator knows. And if you don't like the first result ...
... just get another one ...
Don't smoke, drink, do drugs, shoplift, drive drunk, assault, diet, be homeless, get the clap, take candy from strangers, set fires, be a deadbeat dad, make fun of those who are different, get sick, bootleg, gamble, get pregnant, kidnap people, beat your kids, talk to icky men online, call Tom Hanks an alcoholic, have '80s hair, be illiterate, join a creepy cult, own a gun, bully small blond boys, take steroids, be a bigot, die, live in a refrigerator and/or join the KKK (no, not the Kim Kardashian Kartel, the other one).
As enlightening and helpful as that was, I think we can all agree that the "Beer Bad" Buffy episode was snubbed.
Insane payday for Robert Downey Jr. THR: "Robert Downey Jr. seems to be the lone exception to Marvel’s strict cost controls. According to multiple knowledgeable sources, Iron Man/Tony Stark is set for a highflying payday of about $50 million once box-office bonuses and backend compensation are factored in. (Two sources claim the number could go higher than $50 million once the ultimate box-office haul of Avengers is known, but another cautions that it could be years before the final number is known.) While on par with the upper echelon of franchise movie stars, that number blows away his superhero co-stars, all of whom will make a small fraction of Downey’s total, even as Avengers has a shot at topping the final Harry Potter film’s $1.32 billion global haul. Why the difference? When Marvel’s Iron Man grossed a surprising $585 million worldwide in 2008, Downey’s reps at CAA and the Hansen Jacobson law firm renegotiated a deal to include what multiple sources say is a slice of Marvel’s revenue from future movies in which he plays Iron Man (one source puts it in the 5 percent to 7 percent range; another source disputes the percentage. Marvel and Downey’s reps declined comment)."
Nick Stahl is missing "Nick Stahl - the actor who played John Connor in "Terminator 3" - is missing ... this according to his wife. Law enforcement officials confirm ... Stahl's wife filed a missing person's report with the L.A.P.D. on Monday ... saying she last saw the 32-year-old actor on May 9. Sources tell TMZ ... it is believed Stahl had been frequenting the Skid Row area of Downtown Los Angeles recently ... and there are concerns he may have gotten himself involved in some bad stuff. Back in February, Nick's wife had filed court papers, expressing serious concerns that Nick may be using drugs ... and sources say she fears drugs may have something to do with his disappearance. Stahl's rep declined to comment on the situation."
J.Lo may not be back on Idol People: "As the final three prepare to face off on American Idol, there's no telling who will take home the title. But there's another mystery looming at the judges' table: will Jennifer Lopez return to the singing competition next season? "I don't know," Lopez, 42, says on Tuesday's The Ellen DeGeneres Show. If she makes her way back to sit with fellow judges Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler next year, it will be her third season on the show since Simon Cowell Kara DioGuardi and DeGeneres left in 2010. "I enjoy it. I really do enjoy it," she tells DeGeneres, adding, "I miss doing other things. It really does lock you down." Lopez, who took her relationship with boyfriend-of-six months Casper Smart, to the Idol stage last week, also points to her 4-year-old twins, Max David and Emme Maribel. "Now they're getting more mobile. They're about to go to school," she says. "I just don't know. I don't know."
Spawn "Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley recently added a second daughter to their family — and now they’ve revealed her name. The couple’s latest addition — a newborn girl adopted domestically — is named Adalaide Marie Hope, the actress’s rep tells People. She joins big sister Naleigh, 3½, whom Heigl, 33, and Kelley adopted from South Korea in 2009."
WARNING: There may be a bit of offensive language. Also: Bradley Cooper's hair! And the unbearable cuteness of Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell promoting their movie.
After a tsunami a group of people are trapped in an underground supermarket. With sharks. Of course they are. Also: I doubt the puppy makes it.
I fell asleep half-way through this so it's possible he said something interesting at some point and I missed it, but I really doubt it. The excerpt is from People:
"What better place to bare all – even as one's 50th birthday approaches – than in the pages of Playboy?
Tom Cruise, who hits the half-century mark in July, sat down for a candid and lengthy Q&A that appears in the magazine's June issue, on newsstands May 18. People has been provided an exclusive first look.
Asked why he "sued over some particularly personal things that have been written about you and your family," Cruise tells Playboy, "They know I mean it, that if I have to, I will sue."
He also says, "Does refuting things help? Not really. There comes a point when you just have to go, 'You know what? Here's how I've lived my life: I've never been late to a set. I make films I believe in. I feel privileged to be able to do what I love.' You just have to keep going and remember that."
As for the gossip, "I hear it, I read it, I get it." he says, "But life is not a matter of trying to prove anything to anybody."
When the rumors go too far, however, he says, "You start with a letter saying, 'Okay, you know it's not true. Apologize.' But with certain ones you have to go, 'Okay, you crossed a line, and now you have the attention of my lawyers.' [laughs] When it involves your kids, you have to go, 'Here's the line.' "
He also suggests he's in a no-win position when it comes to his discussing his belief in Scientology.
"If I don't talk about my religion, if I say I'm not discussing it or different humanitarian things I'm working on, they're like, 'He's avoiding it.' If I do talk about it, it becomes, 'Oh, he's proselytizing.' " THIS IS ABOUT WHERE I DOZED OFF. WAKE ME UP IF THERE'S ANYTHING INTERESTING TO REPORT. IF, FOR EXAMPLE, HE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT HIS WIFE THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE IT'S WRITTEN BY A COMMITTEE OF BORE MONKEYS.
On attributing his success to Scientology, the actor, soon to be seen in Rock of Ages, says, "I have respect for what other people believe. What I believe in my own life is that it's a search for how I can do things better, whether it's being a better man or a better father or finding ways for myself to improve. Individuals have to decide what is true and real for them. I'm fortunate in the life I have."
Other topics? "I haven't, and I never would" have cosmetic surgery, he tells interviewer Michael Fleming, crediting his youthful look to the fact "I'm always with family. I train, go without sleep. I just go hard."
Katie Holmes, Cruise says, "is an extraordinary person, and if you spent five minutes with her, you'd see it. Everything she does, she does with this beautiful creativity."
He describes his wife, and mother of their 6-year daughter, Suri, as "funny and charming, and when she walks into the room, I just feel better. I'm a romantic. I like doing things like creating romantic dinners, and she enjoys that. I don't know what to say – I'm just happy, and I have been since the moment I met her. What we have is very special."
Pic from V Magazine.
Malene’s interests and hobbies include Schadenfreude, sci-fi and fantasy (good and bad alike), hilarious hair pieces, age-inappropriate celebrity crushes, messed-up starlets, waiting for the next Star Trek movie, hating Björk, creative profanity, disobedient robots, fake celebrity relationships, post-apocalyptic dread, singing super-villains, baseball, David Beckham (but only when he keeps his mouth shut), vampires and knitting tiny sweaters for her seven cats. That’s not true. Maybe.