These people need more sex and alcohol

'My Crazy Obsession' Sneak Peek: Cabbage Patch Doll Playdate

St. Patrick's Day is almost here

Gah ...

Sexist washing instructions are super-hilarious and jokey

As if doing laundry isn't entertainment enough in and of itself, some idiot at British clothing line Madhouse, designed a hilarious instruction label.

The Daily Mail has this: "A nationwide discount clothing chain is under fire for producing 'sexist' washing instructions on a label. On a pair of beige chinos OKAY. WELL, PERHAPS IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WEARING YOU DO NEED A GOOD LAUGH sold by Madhouse, the printed label states the standard washing instructions, which is then followed by 'Or give it to your woman: It's her job.' The trousers which sparked the fury were purchased in London at Madhouse’s flagship Oxford Street store last month. Courting controversy: On a pair of beige chinos the label states the standard washing instructions, but is then followed by 'Or give it to your woman' As the news spread, many people took to Twitter to discuss the controversial label. One user wrote 'How dare #Madhouse this is 2012 not 1950s.' But one male user wrote 'Personally, I think the "Give it to your woman label" in the Madhouse trousers is funny, and my girlfriend would laugh about it too #relax'"

Because helpfulness is my middle name, here are a couple of suggestions for Madhouse's next line of novelty instructions: A) "Machine wash warm ... blah blah ... and if that is too much for you to figure out with your big man brain, why don't you go bare-assed?" B) "Machine wash warm ... blah blah ... or you could perhaps boil it in a pot outside in the garage while you're working on that project you've been working on for five months." C) "Machine wash warm ... blah blah ... or give it to you pal Steve who's been living on the couch for two months while he "works it out" with his wife." D) "Machine wash warm ... blah blah ... or stick it ... somewhere warm and safe." 

 

Wonder Woman finally gets put in her place

I've never heard of Hot in the Kitchen before but it appears to be a series of videos about food and breasts by a woman named Jaz, who makes the worst sandwiches ever. But, while the idea of Wonder Woman wasting her time making sandwiches is obnoxious and idiotic, I'm also worried about the lack of a hair-net. Being a super-hero-demeaning sandwich maker is no excuse for bad kitchen practices.

Paris Hilton's spoken word video is the worst thing ever. Today

Let's bear in mind that Paris is 30 years old ...

While it's somewhat difficult to hear what's being said while one's ears are bleeding, I did manage to catch this snippet: "I get a text from my best friend/ She's upstairs getting bottle service/ She's like, this guy wants you to wet your lips with this bottle/ he wants me to bring more girls up/ Like I'm some kind of pimp."

WARNING: Apart from everything else, there is also a bit of swearing.

Drunk Text Music Video from Craig Raby on Vimeo.

Christina Aguilera's house looks like a low-rent bordello

Not that I would know what that looks like. Anyhighrentbordellosonlyforme, Christina Aguilera is selling her house, so a whole slew of pictures have appeared online. Here is a selection. Via The Berry.

Whitney Houston: through the eyes of Taiwanese animators

Finally. Now we know exactly how the funeral - and the afterlife - of Whitney Houston will play out.

Valentine's Day celebrity pick-up lines

Creepy child bride will make you hate mermaids

This is, perhaps, the worst commercial ever.

It's great to have a hobby

My only question about this enterprise is if she can predict whether her pee is going to smell weird.

Via Dlisted.