First photo of Mel Gibson's love child

I have absolutely no idea who Wayne and Coleen are, but obviously, in the opinion of British Hello!, they're more important than Mel and his current girlfriend. But if you squint you can see little illegitimate Lucia in the corner.

"Little Lucia Anne really caught her parents by surprise when she made her arrival a month ahead of schedule. But as Oksana Grigorieva reveals to Hello! magazine, she and Mel Gibson could not be happier now that their baby girl is here. "He is ecstatic. He is very much in love with her already," which would explain why he was at a Bruce Springsteen concert this weekend rather than at home, I suppose says Oksana, "She just wins people's hearts, she's so beautiful and tiny." In a world exclusive this week – issue number 1098 – the striking Russian introduces the couple's beautiful newborn baby complete with never-before-seen photographs of Lucia. And she reveals all about the little girl's unexpected arrival into the world, being in love with Mel it's very lucrative and how the Hollywood superstar is an "incredible" and "hands-on" father.

And from People: "The real surprise, Grigorieva, 39, says, it that baby Lucia Anne – named after her and Gibson's grandmothers – arrived a month early, forcing Gibson, 53, to jet back to L.A. from his New York movie set. Now the infant, who was 6 lbs. at birth, is gaining weight fast and on track to become a polyglot. Fancy. "I'm speaking Russian and English and singing lullabies in both," says Grigorieva. "She has been an inspiration already. I'm composing a children's song book."

Hide your kids!

Angelina is looking to add to her child army, according to the seldom fact-based always reliable Life & Style (co-incidentally two things I vaguely remember having).

"During her recent United Nations trip to Syria to meet with refugee families, Angelina Jolie let a secret slip about how overwhelming her own kids can be. Faced with a mother embarrassed that her five children were out of control, U.N. rep Dalia Al-Achi tells Life & Style, "Angelina told the mom that her children are even naughtier!" Raising six kids under the age of 9 is a difficult task, and Angie herself admits that life is "absolute chaos at times." Fortunately, the 15 nannies, five cooks, three drivers, 11 gardeners, seven clothes folders, two sommeliers, five swimming instructors, 13 swan keepers, four jigsaw puzzle teachers and 18 toy wardens do help take the pressure off Which makes her statements in a new interview all the more shocking: For the first time, she's confirmed that she and Brad Pitt, 45, plan to adopt again - and have another biological child. "I can see further additions to the family - both adopted and our own," Angelina, 34, tells the British magazine Stylist in its October issue. Brad and Angie plan to add two more children, if not more, to their family, confirms an insider close to the couple. "They want one more biological baby and an adopted baby - for now," the insider says." But who knows what the future holds. Yes, who indeed? Such heady existential question so early in the morning. Who knows what the future holds? I sure don't. Life & Style probably doesn't. How about the sea? Does the sea know? At times I think perhaps the ancient wisdom and foresight is contained within that vast mass of water. Yes, we must ask the sea. Some people get addicted to drugs and alcohol, but Brad and Angie are addicted to children. So sad. And, as opposed to drugs and alcohol, children make you irritable all the time, not just when you're sobering up. ... Angelina clearly realizes that she's being stretched too thin. "We have to make sure we can devote enough time to each of them," she tells Stylist, referring to Maddox, 8, Pax, 5, Zahara, 4, Shiloh, 3, and 15-month-old twins Knox and Vivienne. "There's always one of ours demanding that I help colour in something very important with crayons." Only when the crayon butler is on vacation, of course. Damn him and his need to go bowling.

Magazine claims Halle Berry is pregnant

Life & Style has a spy clandestinely reporting from somewhere in the immediately vicinity of Halle Berry's uterus:

"Halle Berry suffered through the disappointment of more than 30 negative pregnancy tests before finally learning she was expecting her first child, Nahla, in 2007. Luckily, she's had more success with her follow-up attempts to have a baby: Life & Style can exclusively reveal that the actress, who turned 43 on Aug. 14, is three months pregnant with her second child. "Halle is overjoyed," says an insider close to Halle and the baby's father, model Gabriel Aubry. "The first time, she struggled so much to get pregnant and eventually conceived through in vitro fertilization. This time, the baby was conceived through artificial insemination." "She's just ecstatic to be pregnant again," the insider tells Life & Style. "She wasn't sure if she'd have another baby, so she's very happy!" A rep for Halle didn't respond to a request for comment. Read more about Halle's pregnancy in the new issue of Life & Style Weekly, on newsstands tomorrow! Except if you live here. So don't get too excited."

Paper claims Macaulay Culkin is Blanket's dad

Intermittently reliable source The Sun, has this:

"Actor Macaulay Culkin is the mystery dad of Michael Jackson's son Blanket, it was claimed last night. By the Easter Bunny, Santa, baby Jesus and Edward Cullen. The Home Alone film star is said to have donated sperm to help Jacko create his seven-year-old offspring - real name Prince Michael II - with an unknown surrogate mum. The two celebrities became firm friends after Culkin, now 29, shot to fame as a child in the 1990 box office smash. He went on to star alongside Jackson in the video for his hit song Black or White in 1991, regularly visited the singer's Neverland ranch, and took the witness stand to defend him at his 2005 child molestation trial. One source The Jolly Green Giant said: "It is well known Jackson and Macaulay shared a unique bond." Now rumours are spreading like wildfire that Macaulay, who Jackson nicknamed Mack, is actually Blanket's biological dad. Close pals Spider-Man, Dr. McDreamy and Thor say Jacko, who died aged 50 at his Los Angeles home in June, is not the natural dad of Blanket, his brother Michael, 12, or their 11-year-old sister Paris. Fevered speculation gripped the US after repeated claims that a "well-known Hollywood actor" donated the sperm for Blanket. Now sources close to Jackson say the Thriller star asked Culkin for the donation to help him complete his "perfect" family. The source aka The Tooth Fairy added: "This isn't just chitter-chatter, even Culkin suspects he's Blanket's father. So many names have been mentioned as prospective dads, and this is probably the wackiest yet. But Jackson and Culkin were best friends. He was one of the few people Jackson really trusted and Mack never let him down. Really, Jackson idolised him - that's why he asked Mack to donate sperm. Deep down, I think he always wished Mack was his son. Creating Blanket was the next best thing." Culkin - godfather to Jacko's other two children - has told pals he will not comment in public out of loyalty to his late pal. Helped by fertility experts and skin specialist Dr Arnie Klein, Jackson is said to have stockpiled the ingredients to genetically engineer three "perfect" kids. Klein is said to have given sperm for the elder two, while actor Mark Lester has claimed HE is Paris' dad. Yesterday Jacko's brother Marlon appeared to confirm the star did not conceive his children naturally. He said: "Those were Michael's kids - regardless of where they came from." Jackson will be buried on Thursday in a gold-plated coffin in the Hollywood Hills. Culkin was unavailable for comment."

(Thank you, Garnet) 

UPDATE: From TMZ: "Here's a shocker -- Macaulay Culkin's press agent claims the actor is not the biological father of Michael Jackson's son Blanket ... we contacted Culkin's rep Michelle Bega to ask - because why not - and we got the following statement:  "The inquiries are too preposterous for us to even acknowledge."

Report: Celine Dion pregnant

From the Montreal Gazette:

"Céline Dion is reportedly expecting her second child. A report in Tuesday's Journal de Montréal states that the 41-year-old superstar and her husband, René Angélil, 67, conceived with the help of a team of fertility doctors in New York. The couple’s first child, René-Charles, was born in January 2001. Angélil has three other children from two previous marriages. Dion, who has publicly expressed a desire to expand her family, has not yet confirmed the pregnancy on her official website. Dion was recently ranked No. 3 in Forbes magazine's first list of top-earning Hollywood women. Angélil's battle with cancer had raised doubts that the couple could conceive again. They were reportedly among several celebrity couples battling fertility issues."

I think that's fantastic news. Maybe Anne Geddes can take more creepy photos of her and the new baby.

UPDATE: CTV reports that Celine's spokes-entity has confirmed the songstress is indeed with child.

What is this?

A) Snarkwar The Gruesome's advance troops. B) Your mother's cooking. C) A gross-tastic hoax. D) The reason you shouldn't use your new boyfriend's bathroom. E) What Amy Winehouse's beehive is hiding. F) Footage taken in the sewers under Cameron Village in Raleigh, North Carolina. G) The reason you shouldn't visit Cameron Village in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Sarah Jessica Parker's twins arrive

From WTRF:

MARTINS FERRY, OHIO -- Sources close to East Ohio Regional Hospital in Martins Ferry confirm for 7 News that the surrogate mother for Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick gave birth to twins not exactly as illustrated this morning. Sources tell 7 News Reporter Dave Elias that Parker and Broderick are at the hospital with the surrogate. We are also learning that Parker and Broderick are expected to make some type of announcement before they leave the hospital. However, Hospital Spokesperson Maggie Espina would not confirm or deny our reports. She would only say that the hospital has no comment at this time. Security at the hospital is tight this morning. We're told additional guards have been brought in and even more are on standby, if needed, as this story is expected to get national attention.

Is Madonna's Mercy adoption back on track?

I'd almost forgotten about this story. It now appears Madonna will get her Malawian orphan after all. At least according to various British publications. The Mirror reports that, "Madonna will reportedly be granted permission to adopt a Malawian orphan by three appeal judges. The 50-year-old star's attempt to adopt Mercy James had been blocked, but according to the Sun, two of the judges have already signed paperwork recommending the adoption, and a third will do the same. Malawi's Supreme Court of Appeal will apparently announce the ruling next Sunday, and a source told the newspaper: "The paperwork is being typed up now." The source added: "All recommendations are in favour of the adoption taking place, Mercy should start packing her bags - she's off to America." A close friend of the Vogue singer said: "She's ecstatic - she made a promise that she wouldn't give up on Mercy and, believe me, she could move mountains when she's this determined. Madge's adoption hopes had been dashed because the singer had not lived in the country for the 18 months required, but the friend said: "No stone has been left unturned to prove that ruling was wrong."

Lucky number seven for Brangelina?

This from Star:
And baby makes... seven! In the April 27 issue of Star — on sale today! — we exclusively reveal that Hollywood's most famous parents, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, are adding another child to their clan. The other six are totally thrilled to have to share their toys. Thrilled.

"Yes, Angie is pregnant," a family insider Not for much longer tells Star. "They'd been trying for another baby for months, but it was still a total shock when she found out. Brad and Angie have been fighting so much lately, it just didn't seem possible." Someone's obviously never heard of angry make-up sex.

A source close to the actress Not anymore confirms that Angie is about two and a half months along. "She's thrilled. She said she knew she was pregnant before the test confirmed it!" But she kept the news from Brad, only telling him when he returned from a trip to New Orleans at the end of March.

Baby number seven couldn't be coming at a better time because, as Star has reported, the duo have been fighting Yes, that's exactly the best time to have another kid since Angie caught Brad warmly comforting a nanny in February. "It happened just in time, because things were getting pretty ugly between them," says one source. "Guess what Dax, now that you're 16 we thought we'd want to tell you that you were a baby conceived amidst anger and bad feelings. We thought you'd save our relationship. Of course it didn't work out, but it was worth a try. Please stop gnawing on your own hand."

Pick up the new Star today for the full story I'd love to, but here in the colonies we have to wait until tomorrow, including the scoop on Angie's fertility diet and drugs, how she broke the news to Brad, her plan to take time off from work and where Brad really wants this baby to be born. The North Pole? No. The planet XEsknar12? No. Sorry. Those are my two only guesses. I give up.

The Brangelina looking for a new kid?

According to the occasionally reliable Daily Mail, the most glorious couple in the world is getting ready to adopt a seventh child. This must really rile Madonna. That would make Madonna: A paltry three vs. Angelina: seven.

Anymadeupfeuds, here's the Mail's story: After hitting a roadblock with plans to adopt a Burmese baby, it seems Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have set their sights on the Philippines for their next adoption.
Angelina, 33, took time off from the set of her latest film, Salt, to travel to Manila with the intention of adding to her rainbow family. The Pitt-Jolie’s private plane landed at Ninoy Aquino International Airport last week, before returning to New York on Monday evening.
Brad and Ange flew out together. They want to add to their family and tried to adopt from Burma but the authorities are very strict, so they decided to look at the Philippines,’ says a source. Those Burmese authorities won't know what hit them when Angelina takes her revenge.
A spokesperson for Pitt and Jolie declined to comment.