Beyonce's baby keeps other parents from seeing theirs. Allegedly

I don't know what the dad in this story is so upset about. I think it's reasonable that he should wait to see his premature twins. He can see them tomorrow. They're going to be in the hospital for a long time. Beyonce's baby is only there for a short time. This guy sounds like a total attention seeker. The Daily News has this:

"Beyoncé and Jay-Z were in lullaby land with their baby girl Blue Ivy Carter Sunday, but one new dad was fuming over the velvet rope in the maternity ward that kept him away from his twins. Neil Coulon, 38, of Brooklyn said the stress of his wife delivering two premature girls was tripled by Beyoncé’s bodyguards treating Lenox Hill Hospital like an exclusive nightclub. Coulon griped that he’s been repeatedly barred from the sixth-floor neonatal intensive care unit, once for 20 minutes, by the superstar couple’s private security. He said bodyguards wearing headsets even cleared the sixth floor waiting room, booting his relatives out. “Three times they stopped me from entering or exiting the NICU (Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit) and it happened once on Friday — just because they wanted to use the hallway,” said Coulon, a contractor from Bedford-Stuyvesant. “They should have been more strategic about it,” he said. “These are children with problems in intensive care and you're just going to take over the hospital like you own it? All I want is an apology.” Lenox Hill staffers, speaking anonymously, told the Daily News that Beyoncé and Jay-Z paid $1.3 million to seal off and redecorate a wing at the upper East Side hospital, in a super-strict effort to protect their privacy. Beyoncé gave birth to her daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, Saturday night on the sixth floor, near the NICU, a hospital staffer told The News. “Some people were upset,” the staffer said. “I heard a gentleman say he couldn’t go upstairs to see his baby [Saturday\]. Hospital spokeswoman Anne Silverman said she had not personally heard of the complaints. “We take patient satisfaction very seriously,” Silverman told The News. “This is the first time I’m hearing about it.” Coulon scoffed at the double-standard treatment. “I know they spent $1.3 million and I'm just a contractor from Bed-Stuy, but the treatment we received was not okay,” Coulon said. “My wife is just terribly upset. She had a C-section. She gave birth to twins. She is sore. Nobody needs this.” Coulon insisted he wasn’t the only new parent upset by the hip-hop hassles in the hospital. “This is the NICU. Nobody cares if you’re a celebrity. Nobody is star-gazing. They just want to see their children,” fumed Coulon, whose wife, whose wife delivered two premature and underweight girls on Wednesday. “To have that circus roll into town and ruin our parade was unpleasant,” he said."

Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images File photo

For more extensive insight into this story:

The fourth horseman of the Apocalypse just brought us this

I don't watch Toddlers and Tiaras because I have enough trouble keeping my violent impulses under control, so I wasn't familiar with this tiny horror. Why is this child's parents not under arrest?

Report: Mariah Yeater still pursuing Bieber paternity claim

She just won't stop. She's like the little engine that couldn't shake her delusions.

At least according to Radaronline: "Mariah Yeater, the 20-year-old California woman who claims pop star Justin Bieber sired her 5-month-old son, is holding steadfast to her story that the pop singer is the child's father — despite an admitted past relationship with a 23-year-old San Diego man - who she also once claimed was the father. When asked by the Chicago Sun-Times on December 14 about our exclusive that Robbie Powell - who was arrested November 26 on drug and burglary charges - is the real father, Yeater replied, “Yes, I know him.” But then insisted, "He is not the father, and he’s locked up and out of the picture.” IF I HAD A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST ME FOR EVERY TIME I'VE UTTERED THOSE EXACT WORDS ... Yeater told the paper she's still pursuing her paternity claim against Bieber out of court, through her attorneys in Chicago and Los Angeles. “I dropped my lawsuit, but never my claim. I still definitely want a DNA test and I want to refile my paternity case - I do believe he is the father,” Yeater told the paper. While Bieber claims he took a DNA test last month, Yeater's Chicago counsel, Jeffery Leving, told the Sun-Times the pop star’s camp has been sluggish and non-cooperative in getting on the same page as Yeater's, concerning the test. “Bieber’s counsel hasn’t told me where Bieber’s alleged DNA is secured, nor has provided information substantiating the chain of custody and protocol utilized in the claimed DNA collection and testing,” Leving said. "If negotiations with Bieber’s counsel does not result in DNA testing of everyone under mutually agreeable and controlled conditions, then the legal proceedings will likely need to be refiled." THE MUTUALLY AGREEABLE AND CONTROLLED CONDITIONS BEING THE ABANDONED SHED IN THE WOODS WHERE YEATER ALSO KEEPS HER COLLECTION OF PICKLED EARS As we previously reported, Yeater claims she and Bieber had an unprotected, 30-second fling in a backstage bathroom at the Staples Center following Bieber's October 25, 2010 concert at the venue. She said she became pregnant with her son Tristyn Anthony Markhouse Yeater, who was born July 6, as a result of the encounter. Bieber told the Today Show last month that he's “never met" Yeater and that "none of these allegations are true." "I'm gonna be a target," the 17-year-old "Baby" singer said, "but I'm never gonna be a victim."

Reuters file photo/Christof Stache

Trailer for What to Expect when You're Expecting

Not surprisingly, exactly what we were expecting. What are you doing there, Dennis Quaid and Chris Rock?

Daniel Craig hates the Kardashians. Also: Kourtney is pregnant

Nice to see that Kourtney is picking up the slack. Kris Jenner must have been worried there for a bit when it turned out that Kim wasn't going to produce any new Kardashians just yet. More about the blessed addition later. But first some words of wisdom from Daniel Craig:

Craig is the cover boy for GQ UK's January issue and he has this to say vis-a-vis privacy: "It’s not about being afraid to be public with your emotions or about who you are and what you stand for. But if you sell it off it’s gone. You can’t buy it back – you can’t buy your privacy back. Ooh I want to be alone. Bleep you. We’ve been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta and now you want some privacy?” And then: “Look at the Kardashians, they’re worth millions. I don’t think they were that badly off to begin with but now look at them. You see that and you think ‘what, you mean all I have to do is behave like a bleeping idiot on television and then you’ll pay me millions. I’m not judging it – well, I am obviously.”

And that leads perfectly into the next item, which deals with the next Kardashian birth we're to be subjected to AND a cover for Kourtney. Well played, Kourtney: "Get ready for one more member of the extended Kardashian family to keep up with! Kourtney Kardashian and beau Scott Disick are expecting their second child together, they tell the new Us Weekly in an exclusive cover story. The E! reality star, 32, took a pregnancy test about five weeks ago - and woke up Disick, 28 (not a morning person!), around 7.a.m. to tell him the positive results. "Now I'm nine weeks along," Kardashian tells Us. "You're supposed to wait 12 weeks to tell people, but I feel confident." The son or daughter-to-be will be the second child for the couple of five years, whose son Mason, nearly 2, was a bit of a surprise. Not so much for baby number two, the happy couple tells Us. "It wasn't like we weren't trying," Disick, 28, says. "We kind of just said, 'If it's meant to be, it'll be.'"

And finally: Barbara Walters is apparently fascinated by the whole sordid matter. This from ABC Radio: "You might not find the Kardashian family to be fascinating, but Barbara Walters apparently does. The Kardashians will be featured on the TV special, Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011. USA Today reports the special will also feature Modern Family stars Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet, along with Simon Cowell, New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter, Donald Trump, singer Katy Perry and Britain’s Pippa Middleton. Walter’s number one “Most Fascinating Person of 2011” will be announced on the show."

Report: Breaking Dawn birth scene can cause seizures

... and it's apparently not because audience members become enraged over the message that women should marry young, suffer, sacrifice themselves and otherwise just suffer some more. (gif via fanpop.)

This is from WTSP in Tampa Bay: "A local man says the latest movie in the popular 'Twilight' franchise triggered a seizure, and similar incidents have been reported in theaters around the country. Brandon Gephart and Kelly Bauman said they were watching "Breaking Dawn: Part One" at a theater Friday night when Brandon sudden began convulsing during a graphic birthing scene. Brandon said he doesn't remember anything until he woke up on the theater floor, but Kelly said he was, "convulsing, snorting, trying to breathe." "He scared me big time," she added. Paramedics transported the man to the emergency room and the theater had to cancel the rest of the movie for that showing. Several reports on internet movie sites show reports of other people suffering similar symptoms during the same scene, which contains flashes of red, black and white. Dr. Michael G. Chez, the medical director of pediatric neurology and epilepsy for Sutter Sacramento, said the reports indicate the scene may be triggering an episode of photosensitive epilepsy. While rare, the condition can be triggered by flashing red lights in people who are genetically predisposed. "It's like a light switch going off, because it hits your brain all at once," Dr. Chez said. Similar reports resulted after a 1990s episode of the television show Pokémon, which triggered seizures in children. Manufacturers have revamped modern television and video games so screens don't project the dangerous light frequency, Dr. Chez said."

Not to be outdone, a Daily Mail headline announces that "Twilight birthing scene triggers wave of seizures in cinemas across the US." The mention the above story, plus one more incident: "One man in south Jordan, Utah blacked out during the film. His wife reported that he was shaking, mumbling and blinking rapidly, according to ABC4."  Not a huge wave, but still, I suppose a wave-ish type phenomenon.

But wait! There are more details about the Utah man from abc4: " ... Despite what some think, this man and his wife say their story is true. The couple says one scene flashes bright light on the audience and the scene is incredibly graphic. That's when the husband, who doesn't want to be named for fear he could lose his job, says this stimulation made him pass out and his body shake. "I didn't really remember what happened after that I think I blacked out.  According to her, I was shaking and mumbling different noises," he said. His wife was sitting by his side, "He started mumbling and he was blinking on and off with his eyes at that point.  I was kneeling in front of him slapping his face," she said. They left the movie theater early, but in the process forgot his phone inside. "When we went back the next day we actually found out it happened to another girl in the theater," he said. The couple is coming forward fearing the bright flashing lights shown during a delivery scene caused his seizure. The husband says he's in good health and he's never had a seizure before so from now on he says he's going to be more selective when watching a movie. ABC 4 called the theater.  A manager confirmed the couples story, but questioned if the movie actually caused the medical condition. The manager didn't know anything of a girl also having a medical condition as the man who experienced the seizure shared with ABC 4." SORRY! LET'S BACK UP FOR ONE MOMENT. WHY IS HE AFRAID THAT HAVING A SEIZURE IN A MOVIE THEATRE WOULD CAUSE HIM TO LOSE HIS JOB? DOES HE WORK SOMEWHERE THAT DOESN'T ALLOW SEIZURES? OR DID HE CALL IN SICK IN ORDER TO GO WATCH BREAKING DAWN? IS THAT IT? THAT'S IT, ISN'T IT?

Unrelated, but related, here are a few delightful Breaking Dawn items for sale at Etsy:

No, it isn't quite over with the Bieber paternity thing

Whatever else you can say about her, that Yeater woman sure is tenacious. If she put as much effort into finding gainful employment as to making up stuff, she'd be all kinds of well-off and wouldn't have to make up so much stuff. Extra has this:

"She will not be ignored. Mariah Yeater, who has claimed Justin Bieber is the father of her child, and her legal team are insisting the Biebs take another DNA test with one of her attorneys present. Bieber conducted a test last Friday, under "very controlled circumstances," TMZ reported. But now Yeater's attorney, Jeffrey Leving, told E! News that they are requesting the do-over to confirm that the sample is truly from the 17-year-old pop sensation. "We have been negotiating a DNA test," Leving said. "We just received communication from Justin Bieber's lawyer today concerning our discussions, which are private." Leving continued, "I wasn't aware Justin Bieber was allegedly taking a DNA test until I read about it. I don't know if it was even his DNA. NO, BECAUSE HE COULD TOTALLY HAVE DONE IT AT HOME AND SWITCHED IT OR HE COULD HAVE MUGGED SOMEONE AT THE MALL AND STOLEN THEIR DNA OR HE COULD HAVE BOUGHT SOME ONLINE OR HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN IT FROM HIS DOG. OR HIS CAT. OR USHER. OR JESUS. Evidence has to be properly supervised to make sure it is not corrupted. What I am hoping is to get DNA testing done for everybody and to have it done in a supervised setting."

And here is Justin on the Letterman show. I can't know for sure, but I kinda think he doesn't know what "seeing red" and "disrobing" mean.

Justin Bieber takes DNA test

That gold-digging Yeater woman is going to rue the day she cooked up her ill-considered get-rich scheme. Justin (pictured here at last night's drag contest, which he handily won American Music Awards), is going to sue her for all she's worth (half a pack of gum, an experired membership in The Compulsive Liars Association, a screaming infant and a stack of lawyers' bills).

 "Justin Bieber took a DNA test on Friday night in New Jersey, and now it's baby mama's move ... TMZ has learned. We've learned ... Justin took the test at a lab under "very controlled circumstances."  We're told there is a solid chain of custody, so it's going to be hard for Mariah Yeater or her lawyer to challenge it. As we first reported, Justin's team will NOT settle or even discuss settlement with Yeater or her lawyer.  It's now up to her to provide DNA results from Mariah's baby. Justin has vowed to sue Mariah and her lawyers once he establishes he's not the daddy. Mariah's lawyer was unavailable for comment."

REUTERS/Danny Moloshok

 

Texts show Justin Bieber's paternity accuser is full of lies

This non-Bieber spawn story is like Christmas. At first, fantastically exciting; the very thing you've been longing for, with promises of gifts that will keep on giving for years and years. And then, days later, you're left with the dregs of the meal and 16 pairs of socks. We're now at the point where it's time to get rid of the Christmas tree and the turkey carcass and hope that the next gold digger has a bit more talent with the tinsel. (Spoiler alert: I have no idea what that means).

TMZ has this tale of Mariah Yeater's feeble attempt at becoming a master-criminal:

"Justin Bieber's alleged baby mama sent a text Wednesday to a friend, begging him to erase an incriminating text in which her mom says someone OTHER than Justin Bieber is the baby daddy, and then promising to give him a cut of the action when she scores a payday. The person to whom Mariah Yeater sent the text asked us to blur his name - we'll call him John.  He has been in touch with Yeater regularly ... even before the baby was born on July 6.  In the text, Yeater pleads for John to "ERASE ALL MESSAGES from my mom." The text goes on to say that her mom sent John messages in the past, stating that baby Tristyn was fathered by Robbie - an ex-boyfriend. She then goes on to talk about giving John money if he cooperates:  "Ill kick u when we get paid." All of her texts end with Mariah Laci - Laci is Mariah's middle name. And TMZ has seen many other texts between Mariah and John. In one text, Mariah writes, "[John], would you please stress to Robbie how important it is for him to be in his son's life?.." Apparently, Mariah forgot about this text, because she didn't ask John to erase it. John tells us he's already shared this information with Howard Weitzman, Justin Bieber's lawyer. Weitzman tells TMZ, "This information proves Mariah Yeater fabricated the story.  Our independent investigation indicates Ms. Yeater never meet Justin, she has consistently identified another man as the child's father, and Ms. Yeater and her co-conspirators hatched this scheme in order to extort money from him and to sell her story to the media." Weitzman adds, "There have been no settlement discussions and there never will be."

Meanwhile, Radar has this, which, in light of the above, should pretty much be moot: "The 20-year-old California woman who claims Justin Bieber is the father of her baby is moving forward with her action against the pop star, RadarOnline.com has learned. Reports that Yeater dropped her lawsuit against Bieber and her two attorneys left the case caused a stir on Wednesday morning, but RadarOnline.com has learned Yeater’s paternity attorney is still on board and is involved in private negotiations with Bieber’s legal team. “I did not step down and there is a legal team. It’s a new legal team. In light of death threats against my client, strategies have been reviewed...the San Diego team has been replaced by John Carlson from Los Angeles,” Jeffrey Leving, a Chicago paternity attorney who took on Yeater as a client, explained over the phone with WGNtv in Chicago. “She believes Justin Bieber is the father. Right now there’s no more interviews for Mariah Yeater, I’m not going to allow that. Secondly, negotiations are going on right now with Bieber’s counsel and we’re trying to negotiate a private, secure DNA test with the same safe guards that would exist if there were a court order, but without a court order. “The case is completely out of control and I don’t want something terrible to happen to my client or her child.” While it’s still unclear whether or not Yeater’s case is still technically active, Leving said he hopes he won’t have to file a new lawsuit. “My goal is that when the DNA test is completed, which I believe it will be...my goal is to keep everything confidential so the results will remain confidential,” he said."

 

OMG! Royal baby tabloid cover drama!

It's difficult to chose which cover to believe. They happy, everything-is-fantastic cover. Or the tragedy-looms-and-collapsing-is going-on cover. Or, perhaps, the oddly neutral one. I'm personally more interested in how exactly Angelina manages to ruin every single holiday with her special holiday-ruining powers.