Awww ... look at the koalas. Let's hug them and cuddle them and listen to their sweet koala grunts and ... OMG! They're tiny, evil, murderous creatures of death and destruction and nightmare-inducing vomit sounds ... (Via Buzzfeed).
Hey, honey! Guess what! I bought us ticket to a cruise. Yes, we're going to take a wonderful trip and see beautiful vistas and meet interesting people. And celebrate our great appreciation of torture porn. It will be wonderful. And also full of sharp, sharp things. No, of course this is not some weird way for the producers of the Saw franchise to entice unsuspecting people onto a ship so that they can make their next movie using non-actors and "found footage." Stop being so suspicious of everything I do!
/Film has this promo blurb: "Let’s play a game…onboard the beautiful and luxurious Carnival Glory! If you’re a Fan of the “SAW” movies, you don’t want to miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to cruise with your favorite “SAW” Celebrities. This amazing (5) night cruise departs from New York City and travels to the most beautiful points in Canada (the last six “SAW” movies were filmed in Canada). Your onboard meals are included. Each cabin will also receive a $50 Carnival Credit. During this amazing cruise, you will be able to party with the “SAW” Stars and meet other fans who love “SAW” just like you! You will attend fantastic pool and dance parties, question and answer Sessions and many special events. You can also get autographs from the “SAW” stars, take FREE individual photos with the “SAW” stars, attend FREE movie screenings, and much, much more."
There have been rumours for weeks, but now the rumours have have been taken to the "virtual certainty" level, which is a very serious level indeed. TMZ has this:
"Britney Spears and "X Factor" have struck a deal that will line the singer's pocket to the tune of $15 million for next season ... TMZ has learned. We're told Britney's team and "X Factor" big wigs are working out "the fine points" of the deal, but the major terms are locked. Once the final contract is drafted and signed ... it will go to Jamie Spears, Britney's daddy and conservator, as well as lawyers for the conservatorship. If they sign off, it must then go to the judge who oversees the conservatorship for approval. Sources connected with the deal tell us ... it's a "virtual certainty" everyone will sign off. By the way, we're told Jason Trawick is "very involved" in the negotiations. Simon Cowell, the "X Factor" Executive Producer, told us on TMZ Live Tuesday, "I would love to have her on the show. I think she would be a fascinating person to sit next to." Simon said they may make an announcement within a week. Britney would fill one of two vacant seats on the judging panel. She's also way more expensive than the castoffs - Nicole Scherzinger reportedly pulled in $1.5 million, while Paula Abdul raked in $2.5 mil. "X Factor" refused to confirm or deny our story."
AP FILE PHOTO
Gosh. Rihanna's dad and his views on Rihanna, may explain why she's into guys that beat her up and humiliate her. The NY Post has this, which gets a disapproving frog.
"Rihanna's dad won't be getting any father of the year awards, judging from a new interview. Not only is Ronald Fenty taking credit for Rihanna's sleek physique, saying that he prodded her to workout by calling her "fat," he also revealed that he would be fine if Rihanna were to rekindle her romance with Brown, who plead guilty to assaulting the singer in a lover's quarrel turned physical in 2009. ''Chris is a nice guy and everybody's entitled to make mistakes in their life. God knows how many I've made," Fenty tells the new issue of Heat magazine, when asked about the singer collaborating with her ex on two songs. "She's her own woman now.'' Before attending the 54th annual Grammys with his daughter, whose given name is Robyn Fenty, Ronald Fenty had last seen the singer when she visited Barbados in August. He said that, at the time, the "Birthday Cake" singer was not looking her best and that he wasn't shy about critiquing her body. "I actually thought she was a little fat the last time I saw her," he said. "When I saw her at this year's Grammys, I thought she was back to her normal size. I used to joke with her, 'Robyn, you're getting too fat.' But I think she's fine. I think she looked excellent, as everyone saw, at the Grammys. She's dieting, she's working out.'' After two years of not speaking, Rihanna and Fenty only started communicating again in 2010. At the time of their reunion, Fenty said, "Maybe we’re not as close as we were when she was growing up here ... But we are blood, we do not stay angry."
WARNING: Contains profanity, hapless single entendres, a lack of any kind of musical quality and the certainty that you will spend your day wondering what it is that makes a beautiful, talented woman fawn all over the man who beat her to a pulp.
Gif via ontd.
So, in case you were thinking the second season would be less creepy, you were probably wrong.
Thank you, Us, for setting the record straight. I kinda thought that Demi Moore's downward spiral was a medium-sized spiral; one of those spirals that slows down a bit and let you get back to normal. BUT NO! It's the spiral of doom:
"The night of Demi Moore's Jan. 16 911 call was even scarier than it sounded. "Everyone thought she was going to die," a source tells the new Us Weekly of the emergency, in which Moore, 49, collapsed, and was "convulsing" after smoking an unknown substance. It was the culmination of months of self-destructive partying (and drug use) for the newly single star, struggling to make sense of things as she nears 50 without husband Ashton Kutcher, from whom she split late last year. SHE COULDN'T FIGURE OUT IF SHE SHOULD JUST LIE DOWN ON AN ICE FLOE OR PERHAPS MOVE INTO THE OLD LADIES SANCTUARY. WHAT WE DO KNOW IS THAT IT'S UNSEEMLY AND INAPPROPRIATE TO LET ONESELF BE SEEN IN PUBLIC OR CONSIDER ONE'S PROSPECTS IF ONE IS 50 YEARS OLD. CAVEAT: THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO MEN. "She's been really down, and she's surrounding herself with young people to make her feel better," an insider tells Us of Moore, who's been obsessed for years with staying young and thin. "She's been mixing pills and Red Bulls, among other things," another source says. One of Moore's favorite young stars to party with - and flirt with - is daughter Rumer Willis's longtime friend Zac Efron, 24, a hunk nine years younger than Kutcher, 33. A wired, gaunt Moore "tracked down" the High School Musical star at a party in L.A.'s Venice neighborhood, an insider tells Us. "She seemed out of her mind at this party."
Now the she's in treatment for "exhaustion" and "stress" and other real Hollywood ailments that are real, it's time to dissect the last couple of weeks.
Let's start with People's pearl-clutching account of Demi's night out: "Less than two weeks before seeking treatment for exhaustion, Demi Moore spent a late night out in Hollywood with her 23-year-old daughter Rumer Willis. Wearing a short black skirt and striped sweater, the actress, 49, arrived at Beacher's Madhouse at The Roosevelt Hotel just after 11 p.m. on Jan. 11. "When she first arrived, she kept to herself ... but she started loosening up and getting into party mode," an onlooker tells PEOPLE about Moore, who sipped Red Bull at the hot spot. "She seemed really happy to be out with her daughter's friends." Though she was not seen downing any alcohol, Moore, who split from husband Ashton Kutcher, 33, last November, appeared to be lapping up male attention – especially from 90210 actor Ryan Rottman. "She found ways to touch him all night, and at one point when he was in front of her, she was grinding on his butt," the onlooker said, adding that "his shirt came unbuttoned, and she started tickling his bare chest playfully." When she wasn't flirting with Rottman, Moore stuck close to her daughter, and stayed until the nightspot closed. The mother-daughter duo also had an awkward encounter with Kutcher at a CAA/Grey Goose Pre-Golden Globes bash at Soho House Jan. 13. Kutcher arrived at the party after his ex, but the former couple generally avoided any contact. Willis, however, did spend some cordial, friendly time chatting with him before going back to hanging out with her mom."
Radaronline, which has a fakely concerned source in every single celebrity household, has this account: "Demi Moore had a seizure Monday night before she was rushed to the hospital and is being treated for anorexia, among other substance abuse issues, Radaronline.com has exclusively learned. The 49-year-old Ghost star has become frighteningly thin since her split with husband Ashton Kutcher, and a source close to the actress described what happened to her. "She collapsed after having an epileptic seizure," the source said about the frightening medical emergency. Her dramatic weight loss has caused much speculation about her health and the source confirmed that this is one of the issues she is seeking treatment for. "Demi is in getting treated for anorexia, as well as other issues that caused her seizure," the source said. "She has not taken care of her health at all lately and has lost a ton of weight." The actress is reportedly seeking help for substance abuse as well. Demi and Ashton's six year marriage ended in 2011 after Star magazine's bombshell report that Ashton cheated on Demi with Sara Leal the weekend of their wedding anniversary. She announced that she was separating from him but has yet to file divorce papers. Demi's rep told RadarOnline.com: "We have no information beyond our statement. Thank you for your email and understanding during this time. We appreciate you contacting us."
Angela Weiss/Getty Images & Jason Kempin/Getty Images.
Malene’s interests and hobbies include Schadenfreude, sci-fi and fantasy (good and bad alike), hilarious hair pieces, age-inappropriate celebrity crushes, messed-up starlets, waiting for the next Star Trek movie, hating Björk, creative profanity, disobedient robots, fake celebrity relationships, post-apocalyptic dread, singing super-villains, baseball, David Beckham (but only when he keeps his mouth shut), vampires and knitting tiny sweaters for her seven cats. That’s not true. Maybe.
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