But first an update from his TV tour. It's better than cereal:
From Monsters & Critics: "Troubled actor Charlie Sheen has won the support of Mel Gibson, he claimed last night (Mon). The Two And A Half Men star, who has shocked fans with a series of bizarre TV appearances, told CNN's Piers Morgan that Gibson had called him to offer his backing. "He's a stone cold dude," Sheen said of Gibson on the talk show. "Sean Penn was over [at my house] the other night and we had a few laughs," he added. Sheen, 45, again claimed to be sober as he appeared live on Piers Morgan Tonight. It comes after CBS and Warner Bros, the makers of Two And A Half Men, announced they were axing the current season due to "the totality of Charlie Sheen's statements, conduct and condition." Sheen was earning $1.25 million USD an episode of the sitcom, making him the highest paid actor on American television. "I'm super-bitchin' [and] I don't believe myself to be an addict," he told Morgan. Morgan, meanwhile, branded Sheen 'the Che Guevara of television' and "one of life's great characters." "I don't think you sound that crazy at all," he added. Sheen also hit out again at Alcoholics Anonymous, saying that to join "you gotta [sic] sit in a room and be all lame. I'm a winner and they look like losers."
If you thought last week was the week of Charlie Sheen over-exposure, welcome to this week where he's going to be on all kinds of TV shows. Of course, it's a bit more difficult to be super-crazy on TV than it is on uncensored talk radio, but I'm sure he'll find a way. Like here for example. (Best quote: "I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA").
It's from 2004, it's called Tiptoes and you can read all about it at EW. If you thought it impossible to make the great and amazing Peter Dinklage (soon to be seen in Game Of Thrones ... but I digress. No, I don't. I think about Game Of Thrones all the time. It's everything else that's digression) look like a fool, please think again.
Just in time for Valentine's Day, here are two sad stories of boys who didn't see the break-up coming. Jude Law and Pete Wentz should get together for a mani-pedi and some ice-cream.
From Contact Music: "Jude Law is ''shocked'' his relationship with actress beauty Sienna Miller has ended and is trying to take his mind off the break-up by focusing on his work.Jude Law is "shocked" at Sienna Miller's decision to end their relationship. The 'Sherlock Holmes' actor and the 29-year-old beauty have split for a second time and although it was claimed the separation was a mutual decision it has been alleged the actress was responsible for the break-up. A source told the Daily Mail newspaper: "Clearly things aren't particularly rosy in Jude's personal life. "All I can say is that's he's gone through a rough time. These things are hard - it's awful. The good thing is that he's busy. He'll keep on working. He's shocked by this."
From OK: "Looks like Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz’s divorce isn’t as amicable as it may seem. According to recent reports, Ashlee was the one to demand a divorce and her rocker man tried his hardest to get her to stay. According to TMZ, Pete tried to convince Ashlee not to file divorce papers, but she filed for irreconcilable differences anyway. Pete went to Dallas last weekend for the Super Bowl, where he was spotted all across town wearing his wedding ring, while Ash was in L.A. with their two-year-old son Bronx ... The couple released a joint statement yesterday, making their decision to split sound mutual and amicable. “After careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to file for divorce. We remain friends and deeply committed and loving parents to our son Bronx, whose happiness and well-being remains our number one priority. We ask that everyone honor our privacy as we navigate this next phase of our lives.” The Fall Out Boy frontman posted a cryptic Tweet on Monday, fueling fire to the theory that he did not want to split. “dont forget 2 notice-when i look into the lil dudes eyes & smile, the way he loves. i realize @ashsimpsonwentz is a good moma + so much more”
I think the producers of Let's Get Some Fake Brides In The Studio And Start Fighting need to hire the security guards from Maury and Springer. They'd never have let it go that far. (Via Buzzfeed).
I'm sure I wasn't the only one whose life was thrown into chaos and darkness yesterday when I learned the whole zodiac/horoscope thing might be off and that my sign isn't what I thought it was. (Scroll down for story). Fortunately, CNN has an explanation/clarification that has calmed me down some, which is great because my crystals, the pyramid under my bed and my essential oils just weren't doing the job.
"... If you considered yourself a Cancer under the tropical zodiac last week, you're still a Cancer under the same zodiac this week. That's because the tropical zodiac – which is fixed to seasons, and which Western astrology adheres to – differs from the sidereal zodiac – which is fixed to constellations and is followed more in the East ... Two zodiacs. That's nothing new. "This story is born periodically as if someone has discovered some truth. It's not news," said Jeff Jawer, astrologer with Tarot.com. The hubbub started with Sunday's Star Tribune article, which said the following: "The ancient Babylonians based zodiac signs on the constellation the sun was 'in' on the day a person was born. During the ensuing millenniums, the moon’s gravitational pull has made the Earth 'wobble' around its axis, creating about a one-month bump in the stars' alignment." "When [astrologers] say that the sun is in Pisces, it’s really not in Pisces," Parke Kunkle, a board member of the Minnesota Planetarium Society, told the Star Tribune. "Indeed," the article continued, "most horoscope readers who consider themselves Pisces are actually Aquarians." The article also asserts Scorpio's window lasts only seven days, and that a 13th constellation, Ophiuchus, used to be counted between Scorpio and Sagittarius but was discarded by the Babylonians because they wanted 12 signs per year. True enough, Jawer says, the sun doesn't align with constellations at the same time of year that it did millennia ago. But that’s irrelevant for the tropical zodiac, codified for Western astrology by Ptolemy in the second century, he says. In the tropical zodiac, the start of Aries is fixed to one equinox, and Libra the other. "When we look at the astrology used in the Western world, the seasonally based astrology has not changed, was never oriented to the constellations, and stands as … has been stated for two millenniums," Jawer said. People who put stock in astrology can ask whether they should adhere to the tropical zodiac or the sidereal zodiac. Jawer argues for the tropical. "Astrology is geocentric. It relates life on Earth to the Earth’s environment, and seasons are the most dramatic effect, which is why we use the tropical zodiac," he said."
I worry endlessly about my horoscope, because astrology is totally a real thing. So imagine my horror when this story from NBC revealed I'm not the sign I thought I was. My world-view has changed like that. Where I used to be outgoing and nurturing and prone to crying, I am now introverted and hopeful and full of pep and in retrograde.
"If you've ever read your horoscope, you may be interested in what at least one astronomer has to say about it. Turns out your sign may not really be your sign. "This is not something that happened today. This has gone on for thousands of years," said astronomer Parke Kunkle. The star doctors say Earth is currently in a different spot in relation to the Sun, and its equatorial alignment has changed from 3,000 years ago when the study of astrology began - back when 12 zodiac signs were assigned to 12 different periods of the year. Those signs you were born into are different now because the Earth's wobble on its axis has created a one-month bump in the alignment of the stars, according to Kunkle. "Because of this change of tilt, the Earth is really over here in effect and Sun is in a different constellation than it was 3,000 years ago." What that means to you is a Virgo may now be a Leo, an Aquarius - a Capricorn, and a Taurus - an Aries.
For your new sign, just subtract one spot on the list.
Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16 Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11 Pisces: March 11- April 18 Aries: April 18- May 13 Taurus: May 13- June 21 Gemini: June 21- July 20 Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10 Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16 Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30 Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23 Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29 Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17 Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20"
Star Magazine has outdone itself with this "breaking news" cover. I, as per usual, have absolutely no idea what's actually in the story. But sometimes you don't need words to understand the depth of emotion and despair the world's bestest saint is facing as she collapses suring a heroin-fuelled scene. Or perhaps it was a public scene in the middle of a heroin shocker. Or was it just some bad lighting? Maybe we'll never know. Or will we? Perhaps.
TMZ has the details from Beckham's lawsuit. Irma better start saving up.
"David Beckham swears under oath, he never had sex with the prostitute who claims she had a threesome with him in 2007. Beckham filed a declaration in his $25 million lawsuit against Irma Nici and the publishers of "In Touch Weekly," which ran the story. Beckham says in his declaration, "... Nici has fabricated the following facts about me:
-- that in August 2007, I committed adultery with Nici and another prostitute by paying for sex with the two of them ... -- that about a month later, I again committed adultery with Nici at the Claridges Hotel in London -- that in October 2007, I contacted Nici while I was in New York seeking to again commit adultery ... -- that Nici has had sex with me five times in total."
Beckham calls Nici's allegations "unequivocally false," adding, "I have never met Nici, let alone committed adultery or paid her for sex."
Malene’s interests and hobbies include Schadenfreude, sci-fi and fantasy (good and bad alike), hilarious hair pieces, age-inappropriate celebrity crushes, messed-up starlets, waiting for the next Star Trek movie, hating Björk, creative profanity, disobedient robots, fake celebrity relationships, post-apocalyptic dread, singing super-villains, baseball, David Beckham (but only when he keeps his mouth shut), vampires and knitting tiny sweaters for her seven cats. That’s not true. Maybe.
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