Hands off your schnitzel

Here is your cautionary tale of the day: Don't fiddle with the trouser schnitzel while pursued by police. I think we can all benefit from this lesson. 

"An Australian man who stuffed chicken down his pants and threatened to shoot a check-out assistant at a Tasmanian supermarket has pleaded guilty to robbery. Christopher Sullivan, 50, rolled his car at the Country Club roundabout as he was fleeing the Woolworths supermarket in Prospect. "It was the items that he concealed in his pants that interfered with his control of the vehicle," defence lawyer Evan Hughes said. "He was attempting to re-adjust the schnitzel when the accident occurred." Sullivan pleaded guilty to the robbery at the Supreme Court in Launceston. Sullivan entered the supermarket about 10pm on March 3, 2010. Prosecutor John Ransom said Sullivan put the chicken down his trousers, selected two cans of pet food and went to the checkout. Sullivan put his hand in his pocket and said to the female check-out attendent: "Now give me all the money, I have a gun in my pocket." He also said there was another person in the store who would shoot the woman if she "tried" anything, and told her to wait three minutes after he left. Sullivan was arrested after the crash and had a blood alcohol reading of 0.14. He failed to appear in the Supreme Court in August that year and was extradited to Tasmania after being arrested in Victoria on March 28. Justice Peter Evans jailed him for nine months and disqualified him from driving for nine months after that."

Via Arbroath.

This thing is like that thing

 

Best story ever involving yodelling. Today

I've never before googled "yodelling outfit." And I'm not entirely sure how what is described in this story could be illegal. Unless, of course, the man is dressed up and leashed against his will. Which I somehow doubt. Also, unless he was actually yodelling, I don't see how this behaviour could bother anyone.

"Plain clothes police officers will patrol a nature reserve after an increase in reports of sexual activity. Police will be conducting patrols at Weston Hills in Baldock, Hertfordshire, during spring and summer as a result of members of the public reporting suspicious behaviour in the woods. An anonymous letter was sent last month citing one incident of “a man dressed in a yodelling outfit being led around on a chain by another man.” Signs have also been put up by North Herts District Council at the car park in Hatch Lane forbidding anti-social behaviour. Safer Neighbourhoods Sergeant Jon Vine said: “This kind of behaviour is totally unacceptable in a public environment, not to mention illegal ... We will work alongside North Herts District Council to ensure that dog walkers, walkers and families are able to use the woods and conservation area without trepidation. Plain clothes officers will be conducting patrols in the area over the coming months and anyone caught acting in an inappropriate manner will run the risk of arrest for outraging public decency.”

Via Arbroath.

Mel Gibson may sue Joe Eszterhas. Allegedly

If you missed the dulcet tones of Mel unleashing a fresh stream of mouth dirt, you should scroll down and listen. And then you should know that, according to TMZ, Mel now wants to sue Joe Eszterhas for taping his rant:

"Mel Gibson is seriously considering suing Joe Eszterhas for secretly recording him at his home in Costa Rica last December, and then releasing the audio rant. Sources connected with Mel tell TMZ ... the actor believes he has a "basic human right" NOT to be secretly recorded in his own home. We're told Mel's people are looking at the laws of Costa Rica to determine if recording laws were violated and, even if they weren't, if Mel's right of privacy was violated by the release of the audio. Mel explodes in the recording about Eszterhas' lack of progress with "The Maccabees" script  - "What the bleep have you been doing!!"  He also unloads on Oksana Grigorieva ... We're told Mel believes anyone recorded "at their worst moment" would sound awful, and it's unfair to trap people in their refuge. One Mel source notes with skepticism that Eszterhas has made other allegations against Mel ... that the actor also ranted against the Jews and expressed pleasure that John Lennon was shot and killed .... but none of that is on the tape."

Simon Cowell robbed of money, computer by one-night stand

I don't ever want to snicker at anyone who's been robbed. It's a terrible thing to have happen. So I will just offer some sound advice. One should A) have a special room with nothing of value where one can entertain one's special very temporary lady friends or, B) quickly lock everything valuable up when when bringing home a temporary lady friend, or C) perhaps, being a millionaire and all, bring one's temporary lady friends to a hotel where all they can steal are the towels. TMZ has this:

"Simon Cowell has learned the hard way not to sleep with strangers, because when he woke up he realized he had been robbed of a computer that contained X Factor secrets. TMZ has confirmed ... last October, Simon hooked up with a girl he met at Drai's nightclub in Hollywood. He took her home, but the next morning she was gone and so was his computer and his wallet loaded with cash. Simon - who has his Bev Hills mansion wired for security - called the cops. The footage showed the woman, cops tracked her down and she handed over the computer and the wallet sans cash. Although it's unclear exactly when Simon broke up with fiancee Mezhgan Hussainy, sources connected with Simon tell us it was BEFORE the theft."

Man breaks into Sean Combs' house, eats food, wears clothes and naps

Nothing like an intruder, who, after having spend a day and a night in your house, can't be bothered to say something nice. The New York Post has this:

"A twisted LET'S NOT BE JUDGEMENTAL Sean “Diddy” Combs fan sneaked into the rap mogul’s East Hampton home and partied like a rock star, gorging on fancy food and high-end liquor while parading through the palace in the hip-hop magnate’s finest clothes, cops said yesterday. Quamine Taylor, 30, of Jamaica, Queens, gave “bad boy” a whole new meaning when he found an unlocked basement door and made himself at home for nearly 24 hours in the sprawling mansion. Combs, whose hits include, “Coming Home” and “I’ll Be Missing You,” was away at the time. Cops said Taylor was so enamored of the music impresario’s lifestyle that even the crime was a remix: Taylor already pulled the same stunt — at the same place — more than 10 years ago. “I’ve actually been going to the house from time to time since 2001,” Taylor told The Post yesterday at the Suffolk County Jail. “I stay there a lot, but Sean gets funny sometimes about me staying there,” Taylor said. GOSH. PEOPLE ARE SO UPTIGHT WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR PERSONAL BELONGINGS AND HOUSES. THEY SHOULD JUST RELAX. In his first break-in, Taylor tried to pass himself off as Combs’ cousin when cops found him intoxicated after he took a dip in Combs’ pool. This time, Taylor spun a story that he was a close personal friend and even convinced a security detail of the lie when he accidentally tripped an alarm in the mansion. SOMEONE'S CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB. “He grew up listening to [Diddy’s] music,” Taylor’s worried mom said. “He has a long history of mental illness, and he has been off his meds for a while. YOU THINK? We have been trying to get him some help.” Taylor said he only went to the house for some much needed R&R. “I really didn’t go to Diddy’s house because I’m a big fan of his. BUT CELINE DION'S HOUSE WAS TOO FAR AWAY I just wanted to get out of the city for a while. I was actually hoping to stay like 15 to 17 days,” he said. Taylor’s bizarre, one-man bash began modestly enough on March 31 at the Jamaica LIRR station, where he purchased a ticket to the East Hampton station, cops said. Then Taylor directed a taxi driver to the Bad Boy Entertainment CEO’s sprawling Hedges Banks Drive digs. Taylor managed to get around the home’s security gate and eventually located an unlocked basement door, where he was able to enter. Taylor made himself at home as he canvassed the closets, but his 6-foot-5 frame couldn’t fit into Diddy’s shirts. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT DIDDY PURCHASE CLOTHES IN A RANGE OF SIZES? SO INCONSIDERATE. He then raided the refrigerator and dented the Ciroc spokesman’s liquor supply. The fantasy nearly folded when Taylor set off an alarm at 1 a.m. But the suave squatter managed to convince an arriving alarm-company representative and a police officer MORE THAN ONE PERSON IS CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB that he was a member of the Combs clan, and was allowed to remain in the home. “They really didn’t bother me once I told them who I was,” Taylor said yesterday. After a restful evening, Taylor’s dream finally came crashing down when a caretaker found him at 4 p.m. on April Fools’ Day and called the cops. “I got a good night’s sleep, but it’s not anything too special,” Taylor said of the accommodations. “It’s just like a three bedroom.” ANOTHER REASON TO GO TO CELINE'S. YOU KNOW HER HOUSE WILL HAVE 26 ROOMS, ALL DRAPED IN TIGER SKINS. AS WELL, SHE HAS DRESSES IN MANY SIZES SO THAT NO INTRUDER WILL EVER FEEL LARGE AND UNGAINLY. Taylor, who is unemployed MAYBE HE CAN GET A JOB AS A HAMPTON SECURITY GUARD OR POLICE OFFICER, was arraigned on trespassing and petit-larceny raps and was being held in lieu of $2,000 bail. A Diddy spokeswoman declined to comment."

Thank you, Louis.

Mel Gibson in nasty fight with Joe Eszterhas

I hate it when someone is fighting with Joe Eszterhas because it means that I have to spell Eszterhas and that's kinda difficult. What's also difficult, is figuring out who is right and who is wrong in this particular case. Fortunately that doesn't really matter, because they both seem like complete bleeping bleepers.

TMZ had this yesterday:

"Mel Gibson is sabotaging efforts to make a movie about Jewish biblical hero Judah Maccabee because he "hates Jews" ... this according to the film's screenwriter Joe Eszterhas. Gibson and Eszterhas had been working on the project together ... until Warner Bros. suddenly decided to pull the plug ... and nobody seemed to know why. But now, it's crystal clear - there was a MAJOR rift between Gibson and Eszterhas ... with Eszterhas firing off a harsh letter to Mel earlier this week ... in which he says point blank, "I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason you won’t make ‘The Maccabees’ is the ugliest possible one. You hate Jews.” The letter, obtained by TheWrap.com, reads, "You continually called Jews 'Hebes.' It seemed that most times when we discussed someone, you asked 'He’s a Hebe, isn’t he?' You said most 'gatekeepers' of American companies were 'Hebes' who 'controlled their bosses.'" Eszterhas adds, “You said the Holocaust was 'mostly a lot of horses**t.' You said the Torah made reference to the sacrifice of Christian babies and infants. When I told you that you were confusing the Torah with The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, ... you insisted 'it's in the Torah - it's in there!' (It isn't). "He says Mel only wanted to make “The Maccabees” so he could “convert the Jews to Christianity.” In his letter, Eszterhas says he witnessed Mel rail about his ex-GF and baby mama Oksana Grigorieva ... saying, "You were raving at Oksana even after you’d reached a custody agreement over Luci." “And then you were even more explicit about your threat: “I’m going to kill her!  I’m going to have her killed!”  You said you’d become friends with two FBI agents (or former FBI agents) and they were going to help you to kill her.”

Lovely. Then Gibson responded with this letter. Via Deadline:

Joe,
I have your letter. I am not going to respond to it line by line, but I will say that the great majority of the facts as well as the statements and actions attributed to me in your letter are utter fabrications. I would have thought that a man of principle, as you purport to be, would have withdrawn from the project regardless of the money if you truly believed me to be the person you describe in your letter. I guess you only had a problem with me after Warner Brothers rejected your script.
I will acknowledge like most creative people I am passionate and intense. I was very frustrated that when you arrived at my home at the expense of both Warner Brothers and myself you hadn’t written a single word of a script or even an outline after 15 months of research, meetings, discussions and the outpouring of my heartfelt vision for this story. I did react more strongly than I should have. I promptly sent you a written apology, the colorful words of which you apparently now find offensive. Let me now clearly apologize to you and your family in the simplest of terms.
Contrary to your assertion that I was only developing Maccabees to burnish my tarnished reputation, I have been working on this project for over 10 years and it was publicly announced 8 years ago. I absolutely want to make this movie; it’s just that neither Warner Brothers nor I want to make this movie based on your script.
Honestly, Joe, not only was the script delivered later than you promised, both Warner Brothers and I were extraordinarily disappointed with the draft. In 25 years of script development I have never seen a more substandard first draft or a more significant waste of time. The decision not to proceed with you was based on the quality of your script, not on any other factor.
I think that we can agree that this should be our last communication. Mel

AP AND REUTERS FILE PHOTOS

Robert Downey Jr.: Gossip site contributor?

There's been a delicious story brewing on Jezebel and Gawker for the past week. If it's true, it's all kinds of juicy. If it's not true, it's still entertaining.

Basically, it's about the possibility that Robert Downey Jr. spends his free time commenting and posting on the blind item goldmine site that is Crazy Days and Nights.

Using the handle Himmmm, the maybe-RDJ poster wrote, "Here's the Himmmm deal: Many years ago this account was started by 4 guys who were all pals and worked together DEEP inside the biz. Two were famous (rock star and movie star) and the other two were true creative geniuses. Over the years, 3 of them posted on this one account on CDAN. Think of it like Menudo (but without gay Latinos). In a way, we were all Himmmm. Kind of like V in V for Vendetta. The poor bastard (lol) getting all the heat who was supposedly outed as "him" took the heat to protect ME and my career/privacy. He used to work with me, and his family is part of the biz too. He's an amazing writer, producer, director and musician. He's the pal who got me hooked on Blinds because his family goes back DEEP into old, old Hwood. As in the OLDEST Hwood ever. He's from back East/South, and could explode your brain with the stuff HE knows about real HWood. Pretty much nobody but me has posted here in the last year (except my CTO who was HimJacker and my wife as Herrrr). Otherwise, it's me. I don't have time to do this all day every day, but try to chime in when I can. It's the only vice I can get away with :-) ... Anyway, people can speculate all they want. That's their right. I will never come out and say my name, and I'll retire this hobby first. Some on CDAN know who I am, and I thank them for their secret-keeping. I am NOT any better or more special than ANY of you (Maja, BigMama, Reno, RocketQ, etc.). I do this for fun, and occasionally to try and right some wrongs (even my own). I don't use an anon name because it's false info I share...I have to be anon because it is TRUE!

The collective hive mind concluded that it had to be RDJ and a long post on Jezebel, which you could read if you want specifics on the blind items in question, explains why and goes through some of the pretty horrific blind items Himmmm has set the record straight on (or not, if you don't believe he's real).

Jezebel also cites this older post by Himmmm as proof that he's RDJ: "I have no issue with ANYTHING people voluntarily do in their private life as long as it is consenting - (kids and animals cannot consent!), and NOT hurting another mentally or physically. I'm no saint, especially in my youth but am close these days-lol. And all I'll say about another old topic? I am NOT a cross-dresser! My wife happens to collect vintage clothing and it's tough to surprise her when you share a home and office. But I admit I DO look good in pumps and a dress,:-)"

Now, late last night, Gawker posted a follow-up to Jezebel's story, in which Himmmm talks about a 50-year-old violent rape allegedly committed by one of the biggest movie stars ever against another movie star. You could read that story too.  

I'm not sure what to think. On one hand RDJ seems like the mischievous type, who'd be into spilling dirty secrets under the guise of anonymity. On the other hand, I just can't see Iron Man using emoticons.

Peter Facinelli could possibly have cheated on Jennie Garth: Unreliable report

Just wait until Brandon Walsh and Dylan McKay hears about this.

"Peter Facinelli and his wife of 11 years announced on Tuesday that they are splitting, as reports surface that the Twilight star was cheating. As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Beverly Hills 90210 alum Jennie Garth and Facinelli released a statement to the press claiming: “While we have decided to end our marriage, we both share the same deep love and devotion to our children. "We remain dedicated to raising our beautiful daughters together. We ask for privacy and respect during this time." Shedding new light on their split is a new report that Facinelli embarked on a “torrid affair” MMMM ... TORRID with an unnamed Canadian woman. “Peter had been seeing another woman for quite some time,” a source told the website Scallywag & Vagabond who was first to report the couple’s split. “They tried to make it work for the sake of their children and Jennie played housewife for as long as she could but finally had enough.” The woman is reportedly in her late 20s AND SOOO TORRID and they met in Vancouver during the filming of the final installment of the Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn MOST TORRID FILM EVER. AM I RIGHT? Apparently Garth wasn’t blindsided by the news of his affair. “Jennie knew. As a lot of couples do, they simply grew apart,” the source said, but had no comment when asked if Peter and the woman were still together. THEY'RE NO DOUBT DOING ALL KINDS OF TORRID THINGS In the summer of 2011 Facinelli and Garth separated briefly FOR TORRID PURPOSES, with Jennie staying in their family home and Peter renting a TORRID home in Santa Ynez while they tried to work on their relationship. They have three daughters, Luca, Lola and Fion together."

AP Photo/Matt Sayles

Price of movie popcorn causes lawsuit

Yes, the prices we pay at the movie theatre concession stands are perhaps a bit steep. But there are time-tested ways to get around this problem: 1) Wear a hat filled with Twizzlers. 2) Stuff your bra with popcorn. 3) Rootbeer underwear. 4) Somehow manage to get through two hours of your day without chewing.

But for one Michigan man those options were obviously just a bit too easy and obvious and now he's suing AMC for charging too much for popcorn.

The L.A. Times has this: "A Michigan man says the price of movie theater popcorn is ridiculously high. Same goes for the sodas and candies sold by movie concessionaires. So Joshua Thompson is taking the issue to a higher authority: He's filed a class-action lawsuit to end what he says is price gouging. Thompson, an avid moviegoer from Livonia, Mich., used to bypass the high prices charged for theater popcorn, soda and candy by bringing in his own treats, said his attorney, Kerry Morgan. But Thompson arrived at his local theater outside Detroit recently to find a new sign telling customers they were no longer allowed to bring in their own goodies. "He called me and said, 'Can they do that?' " Morgan told The Times. The attorney said his first reaction was, "Sure, they can do that, it's private property." But then he began doing a little legal research and came across the Michigan Consumer Protection Act, a statute designed to prevent price gouging. And a lawsuit was born. The suit, which seeks refunds in a class action on behalf of moviegoers who were overcharged, was filed last week in Wayne County Circuit Court against AMC Theatres. A spokesman for AMC told The Times that he could not comment on pending litigation. While the lawsuit addresses alleged price gouging only in Michigan, you can bet that it will probably  trigger copycat lawsuits elsewhere if successful. But don't hold your breath. Some legal experts told the Detroit Free Press that businesses that are already regulated, like movie theaters, are exempt form the state's price-gouging statute."