Quick! Someone wake Hugh Hefner from his nap!

And tell him that is fiancee is stepping out with an age-appropriate guy. Life & Style is all over this story:

"Hugh Hefner's fiancée, Crystal Harris, is doing more than just making music with her songwriting partner, Jordan McGraw. The Life & Style Scene Queens can exclusively reveal that Crystal - who got engaged to Hef in December - has been caught with another man...and it's Dr. Phil's son, Jordan! Much like his father, Dr. Phil's son is also not a doctor. We watched the 24-year-old lovebirds cozy up at the Chateau Marmont in LA on March 14. While Crystal was hoping to keep their romance low-key, Jordan didn't care to hide his affections, kissing her shoulder and trying to hold her hand - still adorned with her 6-carat engagement ring. Shut up. She so earned that. Despite Crystal's impending June 18 wedding date to the Playboy founder, sources tell us that she and Jordan are very happy together. "They've been sneaking around because Crystal is supposed to be happily engaged to Hef, and going out in public with Jordan would tarnish Hef and Crystal's relationship image," a source tells the Scene Queens. The pair met through the Organica record label, where until recently Jordan worked with Crystal as a songwriter. "Jordan was let go from Organica for dating female clients under the label," the source says. Michael Blakey, president of the Organica That sounds like some sort of pro-biotic yoghurt Music Group tells us, "Jordan McGraw no longer works for the label, and to the best of my knowledge, Crystal is very much in love with Hef." He adds, "Jordan and Organica departed ways amicably and are looking forward to collaborating on future projects. I can only imagine that Crystal and Jordan were together for song writing purposes." Says a rep for Playboy, "Jordan and Crystal have a business relationship." Crystal's wandering ways won't come as a surprise to Hef's ex Holly Madison, who told us just weeks ago, "Crystal may break Hef's heart."

REUTERS/Steve Marcus/Files

Possibly fake story: Jessica Biel moves past the grieving stage

It seems like just a week since Justin Timberlake put Jessica Biel on the path to being a ring-less, barren, aging spinster with no prospects of happiness. But look at her now:

"Justin who? Just five days after announcing her split with beau of four years Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel was spotted cozying up to her Playing the Field costar Gerard Butler. Currently filming the flick in Shreveport, Louisiana, Biel, 29, and the 300 hunk, 41, were first spotted out for a crew member's birthday at a Japanese restaurant on March 15. "When Gerry got there, he made a beeline for Jessica," an eyewitness tells Us. "He was really flirting with her." Or he could have A) Wanted to know if she had the number of some local strippers, B) Was planning to eat the rest of her California roll, or C) was interested in a really good deal on some bloat. Two nights later, the duo was seen throwing back margaritas at a Mexican restaurant. And that's not all, Biel and Butler shared two more dinners later that week! Still a source close to the actress says, "She only wants to be friends."

Another epic love affair falls apart

So sad. I was convinced that Bradley Cooper and Renée Zellweger would stay together forever and ever and ever and be super-happy and I thought that their love biscuitry was 100 per cent real and not a PR ploy at all and, gosh, isn't it a sad co-incidence that they break up - and get the extra press - right when Bradley's big movie is released, and, gosh, Renee is going to be all kinds of old and alone. On the bright side: Star Magazine finally got one right:

"In the March 28 issue of Star — on newsstands now — we broke the news that Bradley Cooper betrayed his devoted girlfriend Renée Zellweger. Now we can report that they've broken up! In our cover story, we detail how Bradley was sneaking around behind Renée's back with Hollywood hotties Sandra Bullock and Jessica Biel — and there are photos to prove it! One of the pictures shows the actor leaving a hotel minutes apart from one of the beauties and an eyewitness told Star they looked “flustered and unkempt.” After our issue hit stands, the couple of two years ended their relationship, reports state. Reps for the couple didn't comment, but an insider tells Star, "Bradley has been looking for a way out of this relationship for months."

Us Magazine, meanwhile, explains why they didn't have this story on the cover. Us totally didn't see it coming because the couple was observed being nice and affectionate. What is it they do for a living again? "Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger showed few signs of turmoil just weeks before their March split. The actors - who began dating in July 2009 after meeting on the set of the thriller Case 39 - displayed their mutual adoration at the Montblanc cocktail party hosted by Harvey and Bob Weinstein February 26. "When they were in the VIP section, they were cute with one another," an eyewitness told UsMagazine.com. "Bradley seemed very attentive with her." Flanked by Cooper's mother, Gloria, Zellweger, 41, "was seated comfortably and drinking green tea" as the Limitless star, 36, mingled with partygoers. A devoted Zellweger even skipped the Golden Globes to be by Cooper's side after his father, Charles, passed away January 15. "She tried to make it work, but in the end it was too hard," a Zellweger insider tells Us. "Her friends feel bad it ended, but she's okay."

Lying, cheating heart breakers

It's time to play What's That Story? - the game where we make bleep up to fit tabloid covers. In an exciting twist, this week we'll be presenting a story that would work for both Star and Us.

Staring wistfully out the window, the actress sighs and wonders what may have been. Her much-publicized romance with the rakishly handsome actor is crumbling and she knows she's probably lost him to someone younger, prettier and bigger-boobed. It's the old story of betrayal and heart ache.

The actress, who's been working out seven hours every day for two years in order to keep her man from straying, has admitted to close friends and associates and insiders that the rakishly handsome actor has been stepping out with starlets, floozies and women better suited to further his career. In a desperate bid to keep his attention, the actress pretended to flirt with other men at an Oscar party, but ended up going home alone, where only her tear-stained toy poodle was available to keep her company.

 Now that her relationship has died, the actress will turn her energy towards work, charity and getting advice from Jennifer Aniston on how to find the courage to go on when one is manless, shunned, babyless, spinstery, sad and alone.

Covers via Cover Awards.

 

Mel Gibson and the 'dirt file'

It's been such a long time since we checked in with Mel Gibson and his charming ex. Let's see how their custody case is going. Radaronline has this:

"Oksana Grigorieva's legal team is compiling a "dirt file" to prove Mel Gibson is "crazy" in a desperate court bid to strip him of child custody, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned. The Russian musician's lawyers have also engaged audio specialists to authenticate it's Gibson's voice on the secretly recorded tapes, which were obtained by RadarOnline.com in a series of stunning world exclusives. Yeah! Go Radaronline! We love you! You're the best! In the rants, Gibson, 55, threatened to blow up Grigorieva, 40, but not until she performed oral sex on him first Priorities! and bury her in the "f**king rose garden". Which clearly shows he cares. The Oscar-winning director/actor also admitted striking Grigorieva, while she held Lucia, because she "f**king deserved it" and is heard making a series of racial epithets and calling his ex-girlfriend a "whore". Such a lie. They were having dinner and - even though he hated her cooking - he politely asked for "more." "There has never been any doubt about the authenticity of the tapes, however Oksana's lawyers believe that if an independent and world renowned expert verifies it is indeed Gibson on the tape, which it is, the judge in their child custody case will be compelled to take action and strip him of his rights," a source with knowledge of the situation told RadarOnline.com. Despite Grigorieva's protests to date that the Lethal Weapon star is unfit to care for his child, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Scott M. Gordon has defiantly upheld an agreement she signed, in May, last year ... The "dirt file" will also include other times Gibson has allegedly flown of the handle You say "flown off the handle," Mel says "Had some innocent fun with yelling," RadarOnline.com has been told. These include claims that Grigorieva once witnessed Gibson hitting his youngest son Tommy who clearly deserved it. Insolent little bleep, once admitted hurling a television at his former wife and picked up a chair and slammed it through a glass door during a fight in December, 2009, while his ex-lover and their baby cowered nearby."

Valentine's Day Special: serial celebrity dater tells all

Someone at Radaronline just finished reading a book called Once Upon A Star, which is clearly the classiest title ever. Here's a brief description of the book and its author.

"A starlet who dated yes. Dated. That's what she did a host of famous Hollywood hunks has written an explosive kiss-and-tell about her experience, and she is talking only to RadarOnline.com. (Motto: "Radaronline: We'll talk to anyone. Like, anyone. We're not kidding. Make some bleep up and we'll talk to you.") Peggy Trentini was a model and actress in the 1990's, starring in movies such as Up the Creek and B-movies like The Assault and Carnal Desires. She also appeared on numerous TV shows including Baywatch and Married With Children.  She was in a 1992 Playboy pictorial and modeled for the lingerie label Frederick's of Hollywood. She dated yes. Dated. That's what she did a host of famous Hollywood hunks including Kevin Costner, Sylvester Stallone, Sting, Billy Idol, and Vince Neil, and in her new book, Once Upon a Star, the blonde bombshell opens up on the sexy secrets of the A-list, calling her book "a very sexy, fun, naughty diary of a girl dating in Hollywood." One of the stars she had a fling with was a then newly-separated Kevin Costner, who she describes as fun and sexy but certainly no one to fall in love with! "Kevin would have his friends bring girls to his house so he could meet as many as possible to find a hot girlfriend," yes. A girlfriend. That's what he was looking for Peggy, who is now in the real estate business, reveals. "He was so fun and flirty but I never took him seriously because my friends all told me he was a huge womanizer." Whereas you were just a sweet girl looking for someone to date? As for the best kisser, the budding author tells us it was Billy Idol! "Billy was just an amazing kisser, he was so loving and attentive.  And usually with rockers you expect them to be into really freaky stuff, but not Billy. He was so attentive to my needs and made sure I was having a good time." Most Romantic: Johnny Depp. "I met Johnny at a Hollywood party at his house. He noticed me and started pursuing me almost immediately, but told me his name was 'Marco.'  On our first date he had a picnic blanket and champagne on the roof of his house, where we made love. He was so cerebral, he would talk for hours about world issues. He was amazing." Most Well-Endowed: A very unlikely mystery man! Peggy reveals his identity in the book, and tells RadarOnline: "The first time he took his pants off, I was like, wow! "You don't date yes. Date. That's what she did these guys looking for love, because they're all over the place and you just can't rely on them," she says.  "But they sure were a blast and I had the time of my life!" she says."

Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhaal: Made-up Valentines

Life & Style has this thrilling account of something that may or may not have happened.

"Life & Style's Scene Queens That's an awesome job can exclusively reveal that Jennifer Aniston celebrated her 42nd birthday on Feb. 11 by having an intimate dinner with Jake Gyllenhaal in NYC. The startlet What is that? took a break from her whirlwind promotional tour for her new film Just Go With It and made her way to The Spotted Pig restaurant where she dined in a private room with a group of friends and her former hunky co-star. So it was not intimate, then. It was a dinner for a bunch of people? Not just the two of them? "Jake and Jen looked really happy and really seemed to be enjoying themselves," with their many friends? an eyewitness tells the Scene Queens. "They looked like they were strategizing a way to exit the restaurant probably because they didn't want to be photographed together." How do you know that? Unless you were also an earwitness, you can't know that. Perhaps they were strategizing a way to knock over a bank or set Angelina Jolie's hair on fire. Shortly after their discussion Jen exited the restaurant with her friends in tow. Though Jake was not in the group, it is possible he could have snuck out the back door while no one was looking. It's also possible he could have teleported home to the planet of Dzagyq78 to continue his work as a sorcerer of doom. This romantic birthday dinner only adds fuel to the fire that Jen and Jake's longtime friendship could be something more. What fire is that? The fire you've just lit? The duo was spotted just weeks ago at a pre Golden Globes party in L.A where they were flirty. Despite their 11-year age difference, Jen and Jake have had a strong bond since they filmed The Good Girl in 2002. "We took care of each other," Jen has said about Jake. While the timing may have been off in the past, both Jake and Jen are currently single. "Jen and Jake looked very comfortable with each other," the eyewitness tells us. "They were glowing." Okay, Mr. Eyewitness. Firstly - if someone is glowing, you need to be a good citizen and get the fire extinguisher. Secondly - it is, of course, possible that you were unable to move because you were paralyzed by thinking of all the things you would buy with the money you made from selling this made-up story."

Ashlee Simpson files for divorce from Pete Wentz

If you're like me, you've pretty much forgotten these people exist. But, it's still sad that they're breaking up so soon after the shotgun wedding. And OMG! Just before Valentine's Day. People has this: "The 2½-year marriage of Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz is over, Ashlee's rep confirms to PEOPLE. "After careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to file for divorce," the couple said through a spokesperson. "We remain friends and deeply committed and loving parents to our son Bronx, whose happiness and well-being remains our No. 1 priority. We ask that everyone honor our privacy as we navigate this next phase of our lives." According to TMZ, the divorce documents were filed in L.A. Superior Court, with Simpson, 26, citing "irreconcilable differences" and seeking spousal support. In the court papers, which were signed by Simpson-Wentz on Monday and filed on Tuesday, it says the couple's date of separation is to be determined. Simpson-Wentz is seeking primary physical custody of their 2-year-old son, Bronx, with visitation for Wentz. She is also seeking to go back to her maiden name of Simpson and drop "Wentz."

TMZ has this: "Ashlee Simpson filed for divorce because she can't handle Pete Wentz's crazy behavior ... sources connected with the couple tell TMZ. Our sources say, no third party is involved.  One source very familiar with the situation tells TMZ, "It's really all about Pete's erratic behavior."  The source adds, "She really wanted out." The divorce move is surprising - just a few days ago they appeared to be one happy family during an outing in West Hollywood."

While you were sleeping ...

... it snowed a lot. A lot. The Star has a live snow blog right here where you can read about cancellations and other annoying things. And apparently Wiarton Willie has to do his rodent prognostication inside a tent. I don't understand how that's going to work, but I will believe his forecast. Also, I still have a cold. It's settling in. It's feeling comfortable and happy and not planning on going anywhere. If you thought I was as miserable as I could get yesterday, I'm afraid you were mistaken. Today is the day when I'm going to be extra-miserable. Here are some news:

Fresh, new trouble for Lindsay Lohan "Lindsay Lohan can't seem to avoid controversy - and perhaps, legal trouble. The former teen star, fresh off a stint of drug and emotional rehab at the Betty Ford Clinic, is being accused of stealing jewelry in Los Angeles, RadarOnline.com reports. "A search warrant was requested Tuesday at the Airport Court to search Lindsay's house for the item of jewelry in question," the website quotes a law enforcement agent as saying. The site claims that Lohan stole a high end necklace, and that law enforcement officials even have video of her wearing the piece in question. This isn't the only legal peril Lohan is involved in right now - she's been accused of assaulting a clinic in a drunken rage during her rehab stint, though the nurse that originally made the accusations isn't pressing charges - allegedly, for a price. That staffer has since been fired. This would be the second time Lohan was involved in a missing jewelry mystery - in 2009, a $400,000 necklace from a shoot she did for 'Elle UK' went missing." Huffington Post.

Spawn update "Life & Style can exclusively confirm that Mariah Carey and husband Nick Cannon are expecting a boy - and a girl! "It's all about pink and blue these days," a friend of the couple tells Life & Style. "It's truly going to be a dream come true for them. They get a son and daughter." And Mariah couldn't be happier. "Even before we announced it was twins, I was trying to keep everything genderneutral because I didn't want to impose an identity on them too soon," Mariah tells Life & Style with a laugh. "There were fan contests on Twitter about what gender they are and rumors about them being two boys or two girls - but nobody guessed this!"

No-spawn update "She had her rep issue a denial to People, and now Jennifer Aniston is doing it herself. During a taping for Thursday's The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the actress shot down rumors that she's going to become a mother. When DeGeneres asked, "Are you going to adopt another dog?", Aniston replied, "I think you're confusing that with the Mexican child I'm supposedly adopting." "Oh, are you going to adopt a Mexican child?" the host asks. "No, I'm not adopting a Mexican child," says Aniston, 41, joking that her Just Go With It costar Adam Sandler "adopted four last week and that never even got mentioned. No, I'm not adopting any children." As for the first question, Aniston adds, "And no doggies right now."

Something's not right with Cindi Lauper's face "After shocking photos surfaced this week of Cyndi Lauper, the pop legend exclusively told RadarOnline.com on Tuesday : “I’m going to be okay.” The True Colors singer, 57, was photographed Monday with red blotchy skin around her normally flawless face as she boarded a flight from Los Angeles to New York - sparking fears that she could be ill. But Lauper revealed: “I’m just suffering from a rash.  I’m going to be okay, really.” It’s not known if the skin reaction was caused my too much sun exposure or perhaps even a chemical peel  or other skin treatment, but whatever the case, the photos are definitely shocking."

Dallas rises again I would be more excited if it was Dynasty ... From EW: "TNT confirmed that Larry Hagman will participate in the Dallas reboot that’s in the works at the cabler. Patrick Duffy and Linda Gray will also appear in the pilot that’s based on characters created by David Jacobs and executive produced by Cynthia Cidre (Cane). The original Dallas aired from 1978 to 1991 and followed the Ewing family of Southfork. (Hagman played J.R. Ewing, Gray played his wife, and Duffy portrayed J.R.’s younger brother Bobby). The modern story will focus on the Ewing offspring – J.R. Ewing’s son, John Ross, and the adopted son of Bobby and Pam Ewing, Christopher – as they clash over the future of the family dynasty. Josh Henderson (Desperate Housewives) will play John Ross while Jordana Brewster (Fast & Furious) will play Elena, who is involved in a love triangle with Christopher and John."

REUTERS FILE PHOTO 

Jennifer Love Hewitt is ready, should anyone ever ask

I'm no expert (on anything) but I think Jennifer Love Hewitt is absolutely right when she says that you shouldn't leave important life decisions, such as what ring to be given in case of engagement, to the guy who's giving the ring. He can decide stuff like what socks to wear and whether the toilet paper roll should roll under or over. The last thing was, obviously, a joke. He's not allowed to decide that either. Us has this fascinating insight into the psyche of one of the great thespians of our time:

"Unlike a slew of Hollywood stars, Jennifer Love Hewitt isn't engaged yet But she will be soon even if she has to make yet another pact with Satan - but she's got her Tiffany engagement ring all picked out. Three of them, in fact. "I actually have three because I feel like I'm doing the guy a favor," Hewitt, 31, explains during a Tuesday appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. "Women are very confusing. We never know what we want and we're not very good at nailing that down for them. I feel like I don't want to be upset if he picks a bad ring" explains the Lost Valentine star, who's been dating Alex Beh for about 7 months. Hewitt has never been married before - but broke off her engagement to actor Ross McCall in early 2008. But she's all set should Beh or another suitor brings up matrimony. "If it gets to that conversation. If marriage comes up, I'm like, "You know what's so weird. There is this store [Tiffany's] and there are three rings in it ... And if you chose one of these three, I'm going to be really excited. And if you go off on your own, we can have an awful, awkward moment. Better get used to it, Beh. So why would you want to do that?" Hewitt gushed about her new guy Beh, who had a great time as her date at the Golden Globes. "It was exciting! He's never been to anything like that."