FLATTEN YOUR UNDERWEAR, SIR?

There are few things more amusing than reading "English" signs in a foreign country, or even our own. I never know if these are real, but I got an email with some cracking, new examples of the English language gone bad. Here's a few of them:

Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM,
PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM
MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM
WITH VIGOR.

Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On an Athi River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

In a New York City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL
OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT
YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Serbia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

From the "Soviet Weekly":
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS
AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME 

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

RAILWAY BOOST DOWN SOUTH?

Didn't spot it originally, but apparently U.S. president Barack Obama last month was talking about improving high-speed rail. California has been slowly building up its services, and there's talk of a Chicago to St. Louis high-speed corridor, as well as improvements in upstate New York that someday could help folks in southern Ontario make faster trips to New York City.

MEXICO SPENDING:

The Mexico Tourism Board will launch a multi-million dollar tourism campaign as soon as officials tell them the swine flu is safely contained.

Mexico's Finance Secretary approved a $1.3 billion economic stimulus package to help the country recover from the swine flu problem. $15 million of that will go to promote tourism, Mexico's third-largest source of revenue.

TRAVEL AGENTS HAVE THE SCOOP

Openjaw.com had an interesting piece today about how the web has been great at providing information to ordinary folks, yet also providing perhaps too much information.

"There's a common perception that the glut of travel information on the Internet has narrowed the gap of knowledge between consumers and retailers," they wrote. "But vacation.com’s Lauraday Kelley believes the gap has widened in the other direction - in favour of agents - as there's simply too much information available for consumers to absorb."

Kelley is quoted as saying the swine flu scare is a perfect example.

"Unless the consumer has someone whose job it is to keep on top of all the changes, they're at the mercy of whatever press they turn to," she says. "The typical consumer isn't educated enough to know what to do in this time of duress, with rumours both founded and unfounded being reported."

 

Comments

[Jodie]

This:

"Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE."

and this:

"In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER."

I'd love to think that they were actually cranky employees getting their own back. :P But I suspect that they are just translation hitches.

Personally, I love signs like this. They make me smile and it isn't as though the meaning doesn't come across. If a sign's incomprehensible, that's when a professional translation agency should be brought in but otherwise, these signs aren't doing anyone any harm.