Feng Shui airplane analysis is in ... and I guess I'm an isolationist jerk
I got a great item the other day from the folks at FlightNetwork.com, who enlisted a master in the ancient Chinese philosophy of Feng Shui to look at how that ancient art effects people's ... wait for it ... seat selection on an airplane.
I love it.
One of the major principles in Feng Shui (you may know it as the thing that keeps Chinese folks from wanting to buy a house where the stairs of a house empty out towards the street; a sign that good luck will escape your home and, therefore, not a place worth buying) is the Five Elements Theory, said expert Tila Silverio. Those elements, of course, are water, wood, fire, earth and metal.
Silverio says everyone is born into one of these energies or elements and that they effect our personality and choices in life, including why we always sit in the same place in the living room (I like the window) or why we choose the same spot on the airplane (aisle).
Back of the Plane folks (hello, me) are water element, aka "I hate small talk so don't even look at me." Guilty as charged. I HATE chatting with folks on a plane, as it's about the only time I get three-four hours to myself. It's pretty much the only time I read a book or watch a movie. So if someone chats with me, it's infringing on my quality/quiet time. SHUT UP PEOPLE!!
Front of the Plane. Fire element, aka, control freak. They want to be near the airplane controls and think they should be in first class and want to be treated like royalty. Me? Too far from the washrooms, and you keep seeing them slam that curtain on front of you so you dont' see the Champagne cart and the folks dancing naked in the aisles and watching the latest movies in 3D.
Middle of the Plane: Earth element. These folks like to be in the middle of everything. They like to take care of others and will happily (ugh) engage another passenger in conversation. A reminder, people; SHUT UP!!!
Lower Right of the Plane: Metal element, aka "This seat fabric clashes with my outfit but those flight attendant uniforms are FABULOUS." Fun loving and creative people who likely will offer to split their snack with their seatmate. I don't know about these people. I've flown a lot and nobody has ever offered me a bite of their shrink-wrapped, four-day-old, 3 dollar croissant. But I wish they would.
Upper Left of the plane: Wood element, aka "Don't let this book fool you; I'm watching you." These folks love books and often work on their laptop for an entire flight (especially if they have to fly United and watch Adam Sandler movies). But they also have a keen eye for detail and notice where the washrooms are and what's happening and if they're late for departing. And they like to register their displeasure. I think I'm slightly in that category...I gotta admit I often sit in the upper (back) left of the plane. Weird.
So there you have it. I think this is great. Some of it's goofy, but some of it kinda works. I mean, I choose the back of the plane because the seats fill up first up front and the back is likely to have more room. Okay, and less people who want to talk to me and show me photos of their anniversary trip to Paris and their ugly grandchildren. These seats also are closer to the washrooms, an important element at age 55 and nearly 56.
Some folks don't like the back but I don't mind being last off the plane, especially coming into Pearson, because I KNOW MY BAGS WILL TAKE AT LEAST A HALF HOUR TO ARRIVE ANYWAY!!!!!
So now I'm a back of the plane keep your mouth shut Water Element guy and also an Upper Left section Wood Element sort who loves to bitch about airlines and airports on Twitter. Sigh. Maybe I should just fly first class...
Thanks to FlightNetwork.com for the entertaining email!