Is Nike's 'Write The Future' cursed?

Well, yes. Obviously.

No one who's come near the 3-minute ad (which, it still has to be said, looks awesome) has emerged unscathed.

As Chris Young pointed out in his column today, all five 'featured' athletes are now dodging tomatoes in various parts of the world. But it's worse than that. Everyone loses (except the guys in the ads - they get paid a gajillion dollars).

Let's go through the victims, by order of appearance.

DIDIER DROGBA (Ivory Coast) - Japan's Tulio broke his arm in the lead-up (but not a very effective break, since Drogba played); Team was disappointingly average; At 32, the King of African football has almost assuredly played in his last World Cup.

FABIO CANNAVARO (Italy) - The best player at Germany 2006 looked himself, if himself was carrying around a 75-lb sack of grain on his back. Cannavaro was far too slow, just like the rest of his team. The team was jeered at the airport on the way home. No word on any 'Che Capitano' nightclub act, but Fabio probably won't be smiling if there is.

WAYNE ROONEY (England) - First he doesn't score a goal. Second, his team is humiliated by arch-rivals, Germany. Then the whole thing is blamed on his womanish grooming habits. Not a great three weeks. Maybe they kept that prop camper from the ad?

FRANCK RIBERY (France) - One of the ringleaders of the France team's work-to-rule day that Florent Malouda has now admitted was a "disaster." Reportedly said he cried when teammate Nicolas Anelka was sent home. Wait'll he hears about how much his value on the transfer market has dropped.

LANDON DONOVAN and TIM HOWARD (USA) - Shouldn't call it a disaster. Howard was exceptional at times and Donovan will always have that last-gasp spear against Algeria to cherish. But they still should have taken Ghana out. Next time, think Reebok.

THE QUEEN (U.K.) - For her summer holiday, she gets to ... tour Canada's top sites. God, it sounds like every nightmarish family vacation, to the power of 4.

GERARD PIQUE, CESC FABREGAS and ANDRES INIESTA (Spain) - The last men standing as far as playing in this thing goes. But Pique had his forehead cut open on that ridiculous tumbling play that gifted Switzerland a winning goal in the opener. Fabregas is nearly nailed to the bench (Have fun doing the same thing at Barcelona) and Iniesta is so pale, you could pick him out from space. Yeah, that's weak. But we have a theme.

BABIES NAMED WAYNE - Cursed, with or without Nike's help.

ROGER FEDERER - Bombed out of the French. Has to go through Rafael Nadal (whom everybody - but everybody - likes better) to claim his 7th Wimbledon. Would've called this one even odds, but then there's this ad, so .... (Update: Curse in full effect. Federer just got taken out in the quarters by Tomas Berdych)

RONALDINHO (Brazil) - Curious fact. Talking to a Brazilian fan a while back, and he told me that given Brazilian accenting, the proper way to say this name is "HO-nal-JIN-yo." Cool. How do you say, "Humiliated since he didn't even make the team"? In the mini-capsules they play now, the former world player of the year has been spiked. Robinho - who hasn't exactly lit this thing up either - takes his spot.

KOBE BRYANT (USA) - Already in league with the Devil, so no need to fear any sort of curse.

CRISTIANO RONALDO (Portugal) - One goal equals a pretty big bust on this stage. And it's unlikely ... hey. HEY! Stop spitting!

HOMER SIMPSON (Springfield) - Slumming. You were slumming, man.

GAEL GARCIA BERNAL (Mexico) - As an actor, it's not a good thing when your six seconds in a shoe company spot have a bigger cumulative audience than your last 10 movies. I'm giving you a pass because you were amazing in Amores Perros, but that was ten years ago. So sharpen up.

C.K.

Bora in the house

"Bora ... Bora ... Bora" - Milutinovic sure has a lot of friends.

Right on time, Bora Milutinovic showed up last night at Ellis Park wrapped in a blue parka and a South Africa scarf. He's very adaptable, having taken five different squads from three continents to five different World Cups.

His closet probably looks like the rack outside a Kensington Market vintage shop.

Here's the scene when Bora shows up (and he always shows up. The last World Cup he actually coached at was eight years ago). He draws a crowd. Four years ago outside Dortmund's stadium – still the best place I've ever seen a game in, an old-timey box with a stand right up on the backs of the players on the bench and oozing atmosphere – he stood at the ready, greeting old friends and answering questions in receiving-line style in almost any language.

Last night it was more like Bora at the eye of a little hurricane. He stood surrounded, trying to make an escape. But this is the thing about him – he really doesn't want to escape. He loves it. They came at him with microphones and video cameras. He smiled, pivoted to the next face, the next mike, the next country.

An Argentine women, in Spanish: “Bora, what do you think of Argentina?”

“Bueno,” he answers. “Muy bueno.”

A German guy, sprechen sie Deutsch: “How do you think the Germans will do against them?”

The steadycam lights up his face. He stops for a long answer in German. I think the rough Coles Notes translation reads “bueno.” The light goes off. A couple of Chinese shake his hand – yeah, he had a stint there. Some old friend from his native Serbia barges through the group and looks at him, opens his arms, and they embrace. Then it's back to it. I sense my opportunity.

“What are the chances of you ever coaching Canada?” I ask.

Momentary confusion on his face. Still hovering for her next bite, the Argentine reporter flashes me a smoldering how-dare-you look that's totally irresistible, and my knees buckle. Or maybe it's just the rickety media centre floor.

“Canada, Canada,” Bora mumbles. It's like I'm the teacher, and he forgot to study last night's lesson. He so wants to help, this Bora. “No, no.”

Sensing the vacuum, a French reporter asks Bora about Les Bleus' collapse. Bora is swallowed, the little storm inching away.

Till next time, Bora. Like, say, four years from now, in Brazil.

Guesses: Day 19

Paraguay vs. Japan, 10 a.m. ET

A pair of teams both looking to make the quarter-finals for the first time in their respective histories, Paraguay and Japan both lay legitimate claim to the title ‘surprise of the tournament’. The Japanese were supposed to be all defence – and they’ve won with offence. Paraguay – exact opposite scenario. Set pieces are the likely difference, with Keisuke Honda looking like the man who’s mastered the Jabulani ball better than anyone else here.

Prediction: Japan 2, Paraguay 1

Spain vs. Portugal, 2:30 p.m. ET

It’s hard to reconcile the two Portugals at these finals – the one who looked dreary against Ivory Coast, or the one who cruised against North Korea. (Let’s forget the one that declared a truce against Brazil.) They’ve been disappointed so often, and jittery Spain look primed for a fall. Unlike England-Germany, this should be a battle of giants that shows acres of skill on both sides of the park.

Prediction: Portugal 3, Spain 2

RIP Zurich

In Soccernomics, their Moneyball take on the footy, Simon Kuper and Stefan Szymanski debunk the oft-accepted notion that during the World Cup, the suicide rate increases. On the contrary, they say, “the game seems to be a lifesaver:”

“In Europe today, there may be nothing that brings a society together like a World Cup with your team in it. For once, almost everyone in the country is watching the same TV programs and talking about them at work the next day, just as people used to do before cable TV arrived. Part of the point of watching a World Cup is that almost everyone else is watching, too. Isolated types – the types at most risk of suicide – are suddenly welcomed into the national conversation. They are given social cohesion.”

SAY IT AIN’T SO ZURICH!

Was the Swiss exit from the World Cup more than our long-legged pal could take?

Well, hold it one vuvuzela-tootin' minute, bubs. Zurich, the house grasshopper, was found bobbiing carapace-up in the Casa Canada pool Sunday (in case you're wondering, it's way too cold to swim here, and the pool sits forlorn and unloved, waiting for October's warming sun). He was such a good guy to come home to, sunning himself on the filter ring, jumping up on the patio stones, a real ball of fire.

What happened? Only Zurich knows for sure. Maybe a half-full Transkei Dumpie left out there by mistake did him in, and he wandered too close to the water. Death by misadventure? This whole wonderful trip seems like a misadventure sometimes, with its razor wire and grassfires and Diego Maradona pressers.

I'm not buying it. The Swiss went out cruelly here, the promise of their opening-game upset of Spain's twinkletoesin' flamenco dancers gone wrong when they couldn't do much of anything else. Swiss exit and Zurich, a floater – the timing is too close to be anything but a sad grasshopper jumping into the eternal night. I'm lookin' right at you, Kuper and Szymanski. This was no lifesaver for our sweet Zurich.

Predictions: Day 18

Netherlands vs Slovakia, 10 a.m. ET

How 'bout these Dutch? For a change, they appear under control, winning all three of their matches and looking like they barely put their foot on the accelerator. Slovakia woke up in their last, putting Italy to the sword then refusing to talk to their travelling media, which had ripped them for two uninspiring performances. They'll be missing key midfield stopper Zdeno Strba due to suspension, while Holland is likely to give Arjen Robben, who Strba would be all over, a full run. Got to go with the Dutch on a full tank here.

Prediction: Netherlands 3, Slovakia 1

Brazil vs Chile, 2:30 p.m. ET

This could really kick off. In qualifiers, Brazil won the South American group by one measly point over Chile, but dominated their series – a 3-0 win in Santiago that featured two red cards and a Luis Fabiano brace, and a 4-2 at home that included a Nilmar hat trick and two more ejections. For this one, Brazil gets three key players back and available – Kaka, Elano and Robinho – while Chile's hard-tackling trio of Gary Medel, Waldo Ponce and Marco Estrada are out suspended. History favours Brazil, and so does the oddsboard.

Prediction: Brazil 4, Chile 1

Unbelievable

Half-time in England-Germany game, with Germany leading 2-1.

They were trying to smash chairs. And this is the media centre. At the Argentina-Mexico game.

Controversy ready to simmer over here after England's Frank Lampard rips a shot off the German crossbar that carromed off, landed at least two feet inside the goal and then bounced back up into the hands of the German keeper.

If England lose on this, goalline technology - the only reasonable solution to this problem - is guaranteed. It's probably guaranteed in any case. FIFA cannot defend this.

Replays showed that the Uruguayan linesman was standing flush at the 18-yard line when the shot happened. 

The only other guarantee, if Germany win, is that his life is ruined. Poor sod.

C.K.

Predictions: Day 17

 

Germany vs. England, 10 a.m. ET

For once, everyone wants to mention the war. The one in ’66. All sorts of hackneyed history being dredged up over this one, but it’s difficult to overestimate the excitement here over this one. England stumbled into the second round, after seeming to find a hint of their form in their final match against Slovenia. Germany have looked vulnerable as well. Plus, they may be without midfield engine Bastian Schweinsteiger, who’s nursing an injury. You just know this one is coming down to penalties.

Prediction: England 2, Germany 2 (England win on penalties)

Argentina vs. Mexico, 2:30 p.m. ET

History, recent and ancient, are both on Argentina’s side today. The blue-and-whites have only lost 2 of 20 encounters with Mexico. Their last victory came at this same point four years ago. Mexico have looked uneven here – imperious in victory over France, overmatched by Uruguay. Meanwhile, Argentina have swept aside all they’ve met. The up-to-this-point player of the tournament, Lionel Messi, looks poised for a goal-scoring breakthrough. If that happens, Mexico are sunk.

Prediction: Argentina 3, Mexico 1

- C.K.; pic by C.Y.

Predictions for June 26

Uruguay vs. Korea, 10 a.m. ET

Today’s games feature the end of the draw that’s wide open. Having bumped aside England and France, one of Uruguay, Korea, the U.S. and Ghana is going to make the semi-finals here. Uruguay may be the tournament’s most surprising side, having yet to concede a goal. Despite their drubbing by Argentina, the Koreans have shown their scrappiness. Expect the Asians to come forward hard, while the Uruguayans trust to counterattack. An early goal could make this a classic.
Prediction: Uruguay 3, Korea 2

USA vs. Ghana, 2:30 p.m. ET

Africa’s only representative in the knockout rounds has a terrible burden of expectation on them. Despite missing Michael Essien, the Ghanaians have been taking it to opponents. And they’ve been getting better. Like Korea, the U.S. have took a tough group despite a pair of terrible officiating calls, either one of which would have given them victory. Ghana have more skill across the park, but the U.S. appear to have fate on their side.
Prediction: USA 1, Ghana 1 (USA wins on penalty kicks)

The Temple of Jabulani

JOHANNESBURG

At the World Cup, you try to get away from the zombie walk of endless matches by breaking up the routine. So this morning we went off to Sandton Convention Centre, a 15-minute drive turned to half an hour by the traffic, and the traffic-dodgers, lanes and traffic cones being little more than an inconvenience here.

It was “Penalty day” at World Football House, adidas' central HQ that might as well be called the Temple of Jabulani, with one wall racked with balls - balls attached via wires, in case anyone had a feeling to pinch one. On the wall are some truly hideous renderings of the tournament's key players. And players. Hey, former TFC almost-charter member Andrew Boyens was up there as the New Zealand rep. The Diego Forlan looked like Richard Simmons.

The press conference that brought us there was attended by a number of press shoving their way in – standard operating procedure at the World Cup media centres when the waitlist tickets are divvied out – then heading up to the podium beforehand to have their friends take pictures of them with the Golden Glove and the Jabulani.

After a short power-point demo - a Chinese journo in front of me scribbling down all the stats flashing by on the screen - it was show time for an “all-important” press conference, according to the emcee. Then they came on – Petr Cech of Chelsea/Czech Republic, former Argentina 'keeper Sergio Goycochea, and former Germany hothead/divisive egomaniac Oliver Kahn.

Most of the room clapped them on in their three-stripes kit. They clapped when Gocochea upbraided journalists - them, in other words - for referring to the penalty shootout as a lottery or Russian roulette. “There is only good luck and bad luck,” he said, and Chinese guy scribbed some more and nodded his head. Good luck, bad luck - isn't that was a lottery is?

It was pretty much a dud, in other words, and with the laboriousness of it all extended by the need to translate everything, we cut out early. We didn't even wait for the Khan to go off. He looked like he'd just stumbled out of bed and could use a shave and a couple Advil, actually. Just like me, actually.

Guesses: Day 15

After yesterday's Italy result, I've renamed the predictions. I'll probably get rapped by the boss, and maybe we're back to "predictions" tomorrow. Someone's making a lot of money betting the other way on these, but hey - I always thought this World Cup in Africa was going to throw up some surprises. But Italy out? Spain on the ropes? Pinch me. 

Portugal (1-1-0 W-D-L) vs Brazil (2-0-0), 10 a.m. ET

Portugal's 7-0 thumping of Korea DPR puts them in charge of second spot on goal differential over Ivory Coast, if it should come to that. Matchup of former colony against parent country is intriguing but unlikely to shift the balance in Group G. For Brazil, Kaka is out after that harsh red card in last. Deco is doubtful to return to Portugal. Brazil has looked like a side shifting through its gears. This one could be good.
Guess: Portugal 1, Brazil 3

North Korea (0-0-2) vs Ivory Coast (0-1-1), 10 a.m. ET

With a nine-goal difference between them, only an unlikely combination of a win here by a ton and a Portugal loss by a ton will put Ivory Coast into the knockouts. Not going to happen. Ivory Coast have played it a touch too conservative so far and are promising to open it up here.
Guess: North Korea 1, Ivory Coast 3

Chile (2-0-0) vs Spain (1-0-1), 2:30 p.m. ET

Game of the night matches two crowd-pleasing sides, even if the Spanish have shown reluctance to turn all their possession advantage into goals. Chile needs a draw to win group and avoid likely Brazil next out, but they'll be missing two starters (Carlos Carmona, injured, and suspended Matias Fernandez). Spain must win to assure advance and possibly win group. David Villa gave a hint of their class with two goals last time out, but he also missed a penalty – not good. But Andres Iniesta should be fit and return to the midfield – that's good for Spain. Slim edge for Spain, but Chile certainly capable here.
Guess: Chile 1, Spain 2

Switzerland (1-0-1) vs Honduras (0-0-2), 2:30 p.m. ET

After that opener, a clutch 1-0 win over Spain, Swiss stubbed it against Chile. They trail Spain on goal differential by one, but this might get grim, Honduras without a goal to their credit but have slim hope of advancing, while Switzerland with just that one. Midfielder Valon Behrami sits out after his red-card in last. At least Eren Derdiyok, their fine young attacker, is worth watching.
Guess: Switzerland 1, Honduras 0