PRETORIA - A great deal has been written, some of it in this space, about security at this World Cup. It's basically non-existent, which suits me fine.
But it's been rolling in like the tides - different procedures for different stadiums on different days, presumably depending on who's had what rocket fired up what behind owing to something written in the press. Or who's on strike.
Chris Young and I made the hour-long drive up the N1 to Pretoria this morning for the Germany press conference prior to their grudge match against Ghana.
There was a lovely, young fellow manning the metal detector on the way into the Media Centre. He was giving out one of those running patters they love in American airports, though without any of the heavy-handedness and haranguing that make that sort of thing so unbearable State-side.
"Cellphones, car keys, pens - out on the table," he said. "Guns, bombs, out on the table."
We laid our jackets out on a table alongside the metal detector, where they went completely unchecked. Then we walked through the metal detector and on in to the media centre.
A few minutes later, I went back to the car to get something. A German TV crew was standing in front of me at the metal detector on the way back in.
"Cellphones, car keys, pens," the security guy sang. "Jackets over here. Guns, bombs."
"I have to put my jacket off?" said one confused looking German.
"Do you have any guns or bombs in it?" the security guy wondered.
A long, pained look from the German, who probably expected a good, strong baton-ing at any moment.
"No," he finally said.
"Then leave your jacket on."