A peek at the summit

We’re just a regular old non-hamburger-selling hospital, we promise

In a presumed attempt to avoid the vandalizing wrath of protesters who hate both big corporations and world-class medical facilities, the Burger King and Tim Hortons signs at the Hospital for Sick Children’s University Ave. entrance have been covered with green garbage bags.

And then Donald Rumsfeld will speak about good war planning

Former George W. Bush advisor Karl Rove is in town Friday night to speak at the G20 Summit for Faith and Business Leaders, an event organized by Christian conservative Charles McVety. More strangely, Rove will also hold a news conference “commenting on the G20 and the moral question of massive spending and debt.” Rove can comment, but not credibly: even when defence is excluded, Bush spent more in inflation-adjusted dollars than any president since Lyndon Johnson.

Possible intended messages of the summit media centre’s four-dimensional 4D Ontario ride

Ontario: Where you will think you will have fun but quickly get nauseated

Ontario: Where residents spend large quantities of time whitewater rafting and riding horses through forests

When life gives you fences, make a fence blog

Someone has launched a blog and art project called “Fenced Out,” soliciting photos of “whatever you find put up on (or over)” the G20 security fence. After the summit, this someone says at fencedoutblog.tumblr.com, “we will digitally stitch the collected photos together to create a different kind of fence — an online mural made up of the public’s interventions, that will endure well after the steel and concrete barrier is taken down.”

Detention, The Film

Police have set up a temporary holding facility for detained protesters at the former Toronto Film Studios on Eastern Ave. Here are some movie sequels the cops could force the protesters to participate in if they feel like violating some Charter rights:

Men in Black III. Synopsis: Anarchists fight aliens.

Billy Elliot II. Synopsis: An 11-year-old anti-globalization activist discovers a gift for ballet while dodging rubber bullets.

Ocean’s 14. Synopsis. A motley collection of Oxfam employees executes a casino heist and uses the proceeds to expedite the achievement of the Millennium Development Goals.

Summit-related tweet of the day

Dan Speerin: “The argument of it being an honour to hold the G20 would be a lot more believable if last year it wasn’t in Pittsburgh.”

With files from Robert Benzie and Antonia Zerbisias

A peek at the summit

Literally, the quietest G20 gathering

Do you like sitting in silence? Do you like capital letters? If so, you should consider participating in the June 27 Human Summit Project, a meditation-focused Woodbine Park gathering that, according to a news release from its organizer, the Centre for Spiritual Living, “can literally change the consciousness of millions and Awaken Humanity To Its Spiritual Magnificence.”

The city above Toronto, in terms of fun, on this particular weekend

Subject line of the City of Mississauga’s news release: “Media Advisory: Looking for something to do during the G20 weekend?” (Translation: “Toronto is going be excruciatingly boring if you’re not, like, throwing rocks at bank towers.”) First sentence: “The City of Mississauga is open for business this G20 Summit weekend with fun and engaging activities for children and adults of all ages to enjoy.” (Translation: “Yeah, Toronto isn’t going to have any fun and engaging activities, at all, for anyone. Like, none.”)

Fun and engaging activities include a concert featuring jazz guitarist Rob Tardik, a historical walking tour of Port Credit, and, far more excitingly, the Frank McKechnie Community Centre and Library’s 10th Anniversary Open House.

Hottie, you’re so hot you exacerbate the climate change crisis

If the library open house doesn’t do it for you, drive 15 minutes or so to Mississauga’s Treasures Gentleman’s Nightclub, which is holding a “G-String Summit” between June 23 and June 26. The “host” of the “summit,” which is totally not just a marketing stunt, is Miss Brooke Haven, an adult film star. Most of her duties appear to include stripping.

New TTC summit diversion

The Dufferin 29B and D buses will no longer travel inside Exhibition Place, which is closed to vehicular traffic. Instead, they will stop at the loop just outside the Dufferin Gate, said TTC spokesperson Brad Ross.

Summit essentially useless: pundits

Jeffrey Rubin, Huffington Post: “Everybody will be heading to the upcoming G20 summit in Toronto with conflicting agendas, in much the same way that they came to the environmental summit on global climate change in Copenhagen a few months ago. And, like that environmental summit, the economic summit in Toronto will have just as negligible an impact. For starters, if no one can agree on points of substance, why bother holding these extravaganzas in the first place? Particularly when host countries like Canada are paying absurd sums in security bills for the privilege.”

Alan Beattie, Financial Times: “Former officials and experts say that while the meeting is likely to pass off without violent disagreement, it is only at the cost of accepting stark divisions on contentious issues, or pushing their resolution into the future . . . The conversation this weekend is likely to be civil, if forthright. But few leaders seem likely to change their minds.”

Summit-related tweet of the day

Anthony Zanfini: “After seeing 25 cops standing in front it is clear that the most important delegate at the #G20 is Tim Horton’s.”